Page 53 of The Perfect Pass
His expression turned wistful. “You’re right. There is, and I don’t mind telling you about it. It’s just not something I’ve shared before.” He cleared his throat. “With anyone, actually.”
Calla could tell that whatever his secret might be, it had taken a hidden toll on him. She’d kept her feelings bottled up for so long that she knew what that particular pain was like. She recognized it as clear as day. But Jackson had helped her release some of that load. It seemed only fair that she should do the same for him…
If he’d let her.
“My brother needed my help,” he said.
“Ryan.” Calla nodded. She’d heard about Jackson’s history, of course. It had been repeated endlessly in various sports articles and documentaries over the years. As soon as she’d heard he’d been hired as the head coach for the high school, she’d brushed right up on her Jackson Knight lore, so the stories were all fresh in her head. “He pretty much raised you, right?”
“If you could call it that,” he said with a shake of his head. “It was more like growing up in a frat house, but I’m still here, so he clearly did something right.”
“Is Ryan okay? Did he get into trouble in Nevada and you bailed him out?”
“In a way, yes. He’s got a problem with alcohol and drugs. Unfortunately, it’s been an ongoing pattern for a while—pretty much since I left home and joined the Cyclones.”
“I’m sorry. That’s got to be really rough, especially since you’re his only family.” Calla swallowed as her gaze drifted toward Ethan’s turf logo. What happened to her brother had deeply impacted her life in countless ways, but at least she hadn’t gone through it alone. She’d had her dad, and she’d had Bailey. And in its own kooky way, the rest of her hometown had been there to support her, too.
From what she could tell, Jackson didn’t have that kind of support system. If this was the first time he’d shared Ryan’s addiction with someone, it sounded like he didn’t have anyone at all.
She linked her arm through his and scooted closer to let him know he wasn’t alone. And even now, in this vulnerable state, his warm presence still exuded strength.
Being everything to everyone must be exhausting, especially when the whole world is watching.
He let out a long breath, like he knew what she was thinking. “It can be rough at times. He gets straight for a while, then the cycle repeats itself. When he called me from Vegas on a bender, I knew I needed to get out there. He’s been in a good rehab out west since then, and he sounds good when we talk. But we’re not close like you are with your family. On some level, I’m sure he feels resentful for having to take care of me all those years. He sees my life, thinks it’s all sunshine and roses, and wonders if it could’ve been his, had he been able to pursue a career in football.”
“Was he a great player in high school like you were?”
Jackson laughed. “Not even close. That’s the funny part.”
“Is that the truth or just the legendary Jackson Knight cockiness talking?” She gave him an affectionate poke in the ribs.
He grabbed her finger and held on to it for a beat, then wove his fingers through hers. They sat quietly, hand in hand, for a long moment as the sky darkened to a wild violet hue. Down on the field, the yard lines glowed in the twilight like strands of silver thread, stretched taut across the dark grass.
“Thank you for telling me about Ryan,” Calla said.
He turned his hand slightly, pressing his palm more firmly against hers. “It felt good to get it off my chest.”
“I bet it did. You really haven’t told anyone—not even your agent? She might’ve been able to talk to the Cyclones and saved you from getting in so much trouble.”
He gave a decisive shake of his head. “No. It would’ve ended up in the press. Staying clean is hard enough withoutdoing it with a spotlight shined directly on you. I’d never do that to Ryan. I’d rather take the hits myself. I owe him that much.”
And in that moment, Calla realized Jackson Knight hadn’t just taken a piece of her heart—he’d claimed it all. When he left town, he’d be taking every bit of it with him, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
“You did the right thing.” She glanced at their intertwined hands and then up to meet his gaze. The stress of the day lingered in his eyes. “Just like you’re doing the right thing here with the team. That’s what matters most, even if it’s hard.”
“I know.” He smiled, a touch of raw authenticity slipping through. “But I appreciate you saying it.”
“You’re not as alone in this as you think you are,” she whispered, and for some crazy reason, she felt like she might cry. Bailey would’ve had a field day if she could’ve seen her. “You’ve got support here, and I’m not just talking about me.”
“Small-town life might not be so bad after all,” he murmured, his tone low but sincere.
A smile blossomed inside Calla’s heart, until her thoughts began to spin in a dangerous direction.
Too bad you can’t stay.
She nearly said it. In fact, she had to bite her tongue to keep it from slipping right out.
The only thing left to do was lighten the mood with a small laugh as she redirected her gaze to the untouched to-go box. “Ahem. This pizza isn’t going to eat itself, you know.”
