Page 8 of Christmas Charms
Jeremy studies me from across the table. “Is everything okay? You seem a little…”
“I’m fine,” I say brightly. Too brightly, if I’m really being honest. “I was just thinking about Christmas traditions and family. That sort of thing.”
“Ah.” Jeremy nods as he repositions his napkin over his lap.
“How does your family celebrate? Will we go caroling? I’m not sure I know any French Christmas songs.” I’ve spent the past month trying to learn as much French as I can from a foreign language app on my phone, but it’s sadly lacking in holiday content.
Granted, Jeremy’s family isn’t actually French. His father is the vice president of a global bank, so they’re basically expats. Still, when in Rome and all that. For my very first Christmas in the City of Lights, I want to at least be able to sayJoyeux Noëlwith a proper French accent.
Jeremy practically snorts. “You’re safe. There definitely won’t be any caroling.”
“Oh. That’s good, I suppose.” I pick up my wineglass.
“The holidays are going to be a little different than usual this year, anyway. My mom has already booked the ballroom at the Ritz the day after Christmas for the engagement party.”
I nearly choke on my Chianti. “Engagementparty?”
Did I miss the part where Jeremy proposed?
Surely not. That definitely seems like something I’d remember.
“Didn’t I tell you? My brother is proposing to his girlfriend on Christmas Eve.” Jeremy lets out another snort, followed by a dramatic roll of his eyes.
I stare blankly at him, unsure which gives me more pause—his brother’s potential engagement or the massive eye roll. “Um, no. You haven’t mentioned it.”
“Well, he is. They’ve only been dating a few months. Can you believe it?”
It does seem lightning-fast compared to the three years Jeremy and I have been seeing each other. I try to convince myself the brevity of their coupledom is the reason for my boyfriend’s apparent cynicism, and then I try even harder to imagine how fun Christmas in Paris will be with a double engagement.
Itwillbe fun. Maybe the party at the Ritz is for all of us and Jeremy just can’t say so without ruining the surprise of his own proposal. But if that’s the case, why mention the party at all?
“That is so exciting!” But even as I say the words and bounce a little dance in my seat, I realize that somewhere along the way, Maya and I might’ve both jumped to conclusions…and those conclusions could be wrong.
So.
Very.
Wrong.
“We’ll see. Let’s hope she says yes.” Jeremy shrugs. He couldn’t appear more disinterested in the topic at hand. “Josh asked me to buy the engagement ring for him with my employee discount. It’s already been sized, so it’s nonreturnable.”
I go still as he takes a giant bite of pizza. Part of me was expecting this from the moment he mentioned his brother. I didn’t want to believe it, but there isn’t any use in lying to myself anymore. The ring he’s been carrying around in his pocket all day isn’t for me. It never was.
Perhaps a small part of me should be relieved. I did, after all, experience a slight moment of panic when I’d first heard my boyfriend had been shopping in the I Do boutique.
But the sudden tightness in my chest doesn’t feel at all like relief. Nor do the unshed tears clouding my vision or the way my pulse has begun to pound so hard that I can’t fully catch my breath. This sensation isn’t relief at all. It feels more like heartbreak.
My phone buzzes again from the depths of my handbag. Maya, most likely. She’s probably sending me options for bridesmaid dresses. I want to crawl under the table and hide.
“It was nice of you to buy the ring for your brother,” I say, because I can’t keep sitting here in silence. That would definitely make Jeremy realize something is wrong.
But there’s an unmistakable tremor to my voice. I hear it. Jeremy hears it. Even the couple sitting at the table beside us hears it, if their sidelong glances are any indication. Hashtag awkward.
Jeremy frowns at me over his slice of pepperoni. He has a rogue string of mozzarella cheese stuck to his chin, which ordinarily would be something we’d both laugh about. Looking at it now makes me inexplicably weepy.
Get yourself together. An hour ago you were wearing Audrey Hepburn’s necklace, and tomorrow you’ll be on a plane to Paris. Everything isfine.
“What’s wrong?” Jeremy asks.
