Page 60 of Christmas Charms
My mom gasps and all my breath seems to leave my body in a sudden whoosh. Wordlessly, Jeremy drops down on one knee right there on the snowy sidewalk.
This is it—the scene playing out before me is the exact scenario I’d pictured in my head when Maya hinted that Jeremy was about to propose. Only instead of taking place in New York or Paris, it’s happening in my hometown. In front of my parents and my dog and the greater population of Owl Lake.
In front of Aidan.
“Ashley, I should have never let you walk out of my life,” Jeremy says.
Fruitcake, excited to find one of the humans kneeling down to his level, wags his entire back end, wiggles toward Jeremy and licks the side of his cheek. For some reason, I expect Jeremy to react with mild disgust, but he doesn’t. He laughs it off.
A crowd is forming around us, intrigued by the sight of an unfamiliar, well-dressed man kneeling in the snow in front of one of their own. Women press hands to their chests and sigh with delight when they catch sight of the little blue box in Jeremy’s hand. My parents, Aidan, Jeremy and I are immediately swept up in a chorus of oohs and ahhhs. Curious onlookers are pressing in on all sides, effectively blocking Aidan’s exit. He’s going to be forced to stick around and witness the rest of Jeremy’s proposal.
And it’s all sowrong. Everything about it feels wrong, from the way it’s so quickly turning into a public spectacle to the fact that the man is kneeling down in front of me with a tiny velvet box in his hand is the wrong man.
Be careful what you wish for.
So much has changed since the day my train rolled into Owl Lake. Everything, really. Back then, I was secretly waiting for Jeremy to show up, tell me it was all a big mistake, and beg me to agree to be his wife. This proposal is everything I thought I wanted—so perhaps it’s what I deserve.
“Ashley James,veux-tu m’épouser, mon amour?” Jeremy says, and then opens the ring box with a flourish.
A cushion-cut diamond solitaire in a pristine platinum setting glitters against a black velvet pillow. Somewhere behind me, a man says, “Whoa, look at that rock.”
Someone in the vicinity groans. I’m pretty sure it’s my dad. My mom elbows him sharply in the ribs.
I stare at the diamond in confusion, and it’s only then that I realize that all the times I’ve imagined my proposal, the engagement ring in the box was never a fancy modern sparkler like this one. It was vintage rose gold. An antique, with a modest emerald-cut center stone, surrounded by a decorative halo of tiny diamond chips. A ring steeped in history, just like Aidan and me.
He’s the man I’ve been waiting for, all this time.
I feel him stiffen beside me, and it takes every bit of courage I can muster to look at him. This isn’t how Christmas Eve was supposed to go. We should be enjoying the parade together right now, and instead, Aidan has just watched another man ask me to marry him.
At least I think that’s what Jeremy just asked me. I can’t be one hundred percent certain, because I never quite got past the first French lesson on the language app on my phone. Maybe someplace deep down, I didn’t want to go to Paris as badly as I thought I did.
“Ashley, sweetheart,” my mom says. She gives me a tight smile, her subtle way of reminding me that Jeremy is still kneeling at my feet, waiting for an answer, while I’m desperately wishing I could turn back the clock to a time before he popped up in Owl Lake—maybe even farther back than that. Maybe I’d go all the way back to the night eight years ago when Aidan proposed.
My bottom lip starts to tremble, and I feel like I might cry. The time I’ve spent in my hometown this Christmas is too precious to me to wish it away. I’ve learned things about myself I never knew, and in many ways, I feel like Aidan and I are closer than we ever were before.
I’ve changed. He’s changed.We’vechanged. We’ve grown into the people we were always meant to be—people we might never have become if we’d taken different paths in our lives.
As painful and embarrassing as this moment is, I know Aidan isn’t going to stand by and let me walk away again. He said so himself.
I should have fought for you, Ash.
“I’m sure she’s still just surprised,” Jeremy says to my mom as he rises back to his feet. He’s brimming with confidence at the thought of my unspoken yes. Oroui, as the case may be.
“Of course she is,” Mom says in return, though she sounds a lot less certain.
Dad just shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other. Fruitcake’s tail has stopped wagging altogether.
But I’m barely paying attention, because my eyes have finally found Aidan’s and what I see there causes my chest to constrict in a terrible, terrible way. The man who sat beside me in the Palace Theatre a few nights ago and whispered about all the ways he wished he’d done things differently has vanished. Action-hero Aidan stands in his place, more distant and closed off than I’ve ever seen him. His arms are crossed, and his eyes are cold and vacant. The angry knot of muscle in his jaw hasn’t made an appearance since the day we collapsed beneath the mistletoe on the sidewalk outside of Pete’s Auto Shop, but it’s back in full force right now. There’s not a trace of the vulnerability he’s shown me in the past week.
He takes a backward step, and I canfeelhim slipping away.
I know better than to wish he’d tell me right here and now not to marry Jeremy. Aidan is a good man, and he’d never want to publicly humiliate someone like that, nor would he interfere with anyone else’s relationship. I just need a tiny hint of reassurance, but he refuses to even meet my gaze.
Do something. Say something. Please.A bone-deep coldness sweeps over me, and even though I’m surrounded by so many people I know and love, I’ve never felt quite so alone.
The lights on the fire engine at the start line flash yellow and red. Caution! Emergency! But today is Christmas Eve, a time to celebrate. The people around us turn their attention toward the parade, now kicking into full swing. Uncle Hugh must have given up on Aidan and me.
He’s not the only one. Aidan’s last words before he disappears into the crowd are for Jeremy.
