Page 70 of The Accidental Beauty Queen
I decide I’m taking her home with me. I don’t care what Ginny has to say about it. Besides, my rap sheet is pretty long now. I’ve impersonated my sister and cheated in a national pageant. I may as well add dognapping to my list of crimes.
“Hey.” Ginny pokes me in the center of my back with such force that I nearly fall face-first onto the bed. “I asked you a question.”
I spin around. “You want to know what I’ve done? Fine. I’ll tell you. First, I let you talk me into impersonating you in this pageant. I let you make me over so I looked like you. I changed everything about myself so I could help you achieve your dream.I got you to the finals, and now you’re acting like it’s nothing.”
I also slept with one of the judges, but now probably isn’t the time to bring up that little tidbit.
She lifts a brow. “I’m not in the finals yet. The onstage questions are this afternoon, remember?”
Seriously?
“Whatever. I also took care of your dog all week, so guess what? She’s my dog now.”
Ginny looks at Buttercup and then back at me. “What in the world has gotten into you?”
“Listen to yourself. Do you have any idea how self-centered you sound?” I cross my arms. “I’ve been out all night, and you haven’t said a word about it. Did you even notice?”
“All night?” For the first time since my return, she looks at me.Reallylooks. “I thought you just stayed out really late and got in after I went to bed. I assumed you were off celebrating with the other girls and then darted out again this morning.”
“In my evening gown?” I roll my eyes. I’m right. She has been looking right through me all along. “Tell me, Ginny. What do you see when you look at me? Do you see an actual person? Your twin? Or do you only see a less attractive reflection of yourself?”
It’s harsh. I know it is. But I can’t seem to stop the ugliness from spewing out of my mouth. I’ve been too silent for too long.
“Are you kidding right now? Of course I see you.” She takes a closer look at me and her gaze narrows. Finally. She recognizes my messy state for what it is.
Who is he?
I can see the question shining in her eyes. She desperately wants to ask me, but she knows I won’t tell her. Not mid-rant.
So instead she clears her throat, and in her best pageant-girl, world-peace-loving voice she calmly says, “Thank you for taking my place. I’m more grateful than you know. How can I repay you?”
“Let me keep going.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.
She blinks. “What do you mean?”
But she knows. She just can’t believe it’s what I want.
Neither can I, actually. “Let me continue in the pageant. I started it, I want to finish it.”
For a long, loaded moment, neither of us says a word. I know better than to hope that she’ll agree. I’m not even sure why I want her to.
Yes, you do, a tiny voice whispers inside my head.You’re afraid of disappearing again.
“No.” Ginny shakes her head. Her gaze is as hard as stone. “Anything but that. You know how important this pageant is to me.”
“She was my mother too,” I say. “Besides, you owe me.”
I should stop. Ineedto stop. The dam has broken and soon I’m going to say something I won’t be able to take back.
“What do you mean, I owe you? What for? The pageant?” Ginny sighs. She doesn’t have a clue.
So after keeping the truth to myself for more than a year, I finally enlighten her.
“For Adam,” I say flatly.
Ginny’s mouth opens and then closes. I watch as she tries to process what I’ve just said. The air between us swirls with ugly truths and secrets, swollen from being held too tightly for far too long.
Slowly, every drop of color drains from Ginny’s face. She shakes her head. Her eyes are full of questions, and I can tell she doesn’t know what I’m talking about, but she knows it’s bad.
