Page 28 of The Illicit Play
Or maybe the hinge had been broken for a while, and I just hadn’t been willing to act on it.
But meeting Cleo was the catalyst I needed.
She was the one who encouraged me to ditch class. She dared me to lift my first tube of lipstick, and that night, we celebrated like it was our last day on the planet.
Thanks to my monthly allowance from Mommy and Daddy, we lived it up. I got off-my-ass drunk and ended up making out with Cleo’s friend Nico. He’s Italian, and damn if his hands and lips aren’t the best. He ended up being my first about two nights later, and it wasn’t so bad. After that, I ping-ponged between him and Simon. It all depended on who was there. They didn’t seem to mind sharing me, and I’m pretty sure they were hooking up on the side with Cleo and whoever else they were into. No one was a couple. Everything was casual, no strings attached, free love and all that shit.
Damn, when I think about it now, it makes the four of us sound like orgy-loving porn stars.
But I only hooked up with one guy at a time, and…
When I was lost in that drunken haze, partying it up… it didn’t feel wrong.
It’s not until you’re sober, waking up half-naked in a bed you don’t recognize, that you start to wonder if your life choices are all that great.
But that rush.
That rush is the best.
I miss it.
Shit, maybe I even miss Cleo.
No, you do not!
After what she did to me—what she’s still trying to do to me—I’ve thought about buying a voodoo doll andsticking pins in its eyes. But that day I left… I think I was too numb to feel anything as I packed up my stuff and rented a storage unit. She just sat there on her bed, watching me, not saying shit.
I hated her in that moment.
But now I’m pining, like some loyal puppy dog.
Stop it! I hate you for doing that!
My insides coil.
She opened my eyes. Introduced me to a world of freedom and reckless fun.
It’s an addictive rush, and I want it again.
Pulling out my phone for just a second, I think about texting her. I even find our last message exchange.
Rage fires through me, hot and fast.
Fuck her!
My mind jumps back to that first night out of the dorm. I was holed up in a hotel room, wondering what the fuck to do with myself.
I had no idea how I was going to tell my parents what had happened.
The university hadn’t contacted them as far as I was aware, and I was just lying there, waiting for the impending explosion.
Hatred for Cleo burned bright. That bitch dumped me in it. She put all the blame on me, and I should have dragged her right down with me.
But for some reason, I didn’t.
I still haven’t figured out why.
She was just as guilty as I was.
