Page 103 of The Illicit Play
“But you regret some,” I have to whisper, because what’s the point of hiding from the truth?
I’m stoked that he liked it; that part does ease the burning disappointment that’s been eating at me. But it doesn’t change the fact that he wished it hadn’t happened.
His expression crumples, confirming what I already know. “You’re Wily’s little sister.” He silently beseeches me to get it. “He’ll kill me.”
“He’s my brother, not my boss.” I sigh, whipping my hand out of his grasp.
Frustration bubbles up inside me, and I have to clamp my teeth together.
I don’t want to get into a fight with him.
I’m so sick of tension and angst. I just want to feel calm and warm… the way I did when he held me.
Before I went and ruined it by jumping him.
You didn’t ruin anything. That was amazing!
But the aftermath has been anything but.
Closing my eyes, I force myself to play it cool. I’m good at that, right? Saying and doing exactly what people need me to?
I muster a calming breath. “I get it, okay? I know you don’t want to cross that line, and I’m sorry that I made you.”
“I could have stopped you.” Grady’s voice is all rough and sexy, this soft growl that makes my insides twist with longing. “I didn’t want you to stop. Even though it shouldn’t have happened.”
“Yeah.” I nod, forcing my eyes back open and facing him.
His expression is kind of pained, still etched with remorse, and I really need him to stop feeling so guilty about this.
“Let’s just… forget it ever happened, okay?” It’s so freaking hard saying that. Just about as challenging as forcing a smile and putting on a cheerful tone. “Thanks for an amazing day, Grady. I’m really glad I’m doing this with you.”
Keeping my smile in place, I turn back to the tent, grateful that I brushed my teeth right after dinner. Now I can just crawl right into that sleeping bag and try to get some sleep.
After all that’s gone down today, it’ll no doubt be an impossible task.
And I’m so right about that.
CHAPTER 33
GRADY
I couldn’t sleep.
How the hell was I supposed to?
It wasn’t that my hammock was uncomfortable. It wasn’t that I was too cold or that mosquitoes were attacking me.
I was prepared, so none of that shit happened. And any other night, I probably would have slept like a log.
But I couldn’t switch my mind off.
All I could think about was the fact that Blake was in that tent mere feet away from me.
All I could remember was exactly what went down in that tent.
I relived every second of it, over and over. Then my mind would travel to the rest of the day, and she consumed me as I pictured her jumping off those rocks, then splashing in the water. I heard her laughter and watched her excited face when she pointed out that squirrel or made us stop walking so she could hear the woodpecker in the distance.
Damn, she took over every corner of my brain. I’d gazed up through the trees, glimpsing the twinkling stars and willing myself to go to sleep.
