Page 113 of Burning Daylight
He swallows and nods, crossing his foot over the opposite knee, then resting his hand on top.
My gaze tracks along his cracked knuckles again, that familiar worry surging through me. I want to ask him if he’s all right, but again, I keep the words down.
He doesn’t get to feel like I care.
Not when he doesn’t seem to care about me.
Instead, I stiffen my chin. If he wants to call me a bitch and act like he hasn’t been the biggest jerk on the face of the planet, then I’ll just snub him. Sniffing, I lean forward to pick up the remote and turn on the TV, flipping through the channels.
“Jules,” he murmurs, his voice coated with sadness.
I ignore him.
He shifts on the couch. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I side-eye him.Good job ignoring him, Jules. Real tough.
He huffs, his head angling toward the ceiling before he looks back at me. “For a lot of things.”
I lift a shoulder, swallowing down the emotion. “It’s whatever.”
“It isn’t.” He shakes his head and sighs. “I’ve obviously fucked up with you.”
“Yeah, well.” I flip the channel again, my finger hitting the remote harder than necessary.
“Art’s dating this girl, and she’s not really someone who has anyone on her side. His dad doesn’t approve, and he’s not willing to give her up, so he has me looking out for her.”
“And that means you can’t be around me,why?” I give him a look like he’s lost his mind.
“It doesn’t. There’s just a lot going on.”
“Mmhm, sure.” I focus harder on the TV.
“Having you gone sucked, okay?” he finally blurts out. “You’re the only family member I can stand to be around, and I?—”
“So, you basically excommunicate me?” I scoff. “Real mature.”
He grits his teeth, his angular jaw flexing. “I thought maybe you’d choose to stay away if we didn’t talk.”
I gape at him, my hand with the remote frozen in the air. “Well, thatsucks.”
He shakes his head again. “No, I—do you realize how fucked up our family is, Jules? And you’re so good. The best. You’re the only one worth a damn around here, and if you come back, if you get pulled into the family bullshit, they’ll suck the light right out of you.”
My brows draw down. “Lance, I don’t needsavingfrom our family. What’s wrong with you?”
Even as I say it, I don’t believe the words. Because maybe I do.
His nostrils flare as he stares at me, and then he exhales and grins at me, like whatever he was about to say, whateverhas been weighing on him since he walked in, just disappeared. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
I look at him like he’s lost his mind. “I don’t forgive you.”
“Not even if I promise to never do it again?” he asks.
Tossing down the remote, I cross my arms and look at him. I want to stay mad, I really do. There’s a huge part of me that’s so hurt by his dismissal, and I’m not sure it will ever heal so that we can get back to where we were as kids. But then my gaze sweeps across his features again, and I really take him in.
His hazel eyes are more pronounced, but it’s only because of the dark circles underneath, proving he isn’t sleeping. His hands look like he’s beat people half to death.
My chest squeezes.
