Page 73 of Crossed
His words would sting less if he had slapped me with them, and I sit back in my chair, crossing my arms, feeling insecure about my outfit. I had thought it looked okay. “That’s not fair,” I murmur.
Sighing, he reaches out, rubbing a thumb down my jaw, his gaze softening. “Sweet girl, don’t look at me with those puppy- dog eyes. We’ll take care of it, okay? Just…try not to do anything that brings you attention while we’re there.”
“Of course not,” I bite back. “Wouldn’t want toembarrassyou.”
“Right.” He smiles. “That reminds me.” He reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small blue box, and then grips my hand, pulling my fingers toward him, his thumb rubbing over the back of my third finger. “We also need to take care of this.” He opens the box and pulls out a gigantic rock the size of the fucking state and slips it on, then holds it up between us and grins. “You’re improving already.”
I bring my hand back once he drops it and stare down at the diamond ring as it sparkles and shines. For some reason, this makes it feel more real. More final.
The weight of reality drops in my gut like lead.
I close my eyes, willing away the tension suddenly pulling between my eyes, and don’t open them again until we pull up to the side parking lot at Notre- Dame. My stomach flips, knowing Cade is inside, and my mouth goes dry and my heart stutters.
Is Cade having trouble focusing too?Or maybe this is par for the course for him. Being under the guise of a priest and then creeping on unsuspecting women.
Jealousy stabs my chest at the thought of him sharing what we have with someone else, and for the first time since all this started, I finally feel disgust.
But I’m disgusted withmyselffor wanting to feel special. For wanting to be the only one. For lusting after a man who is the actual definition of forbidden and no better than anyone else in town who calls me names.
The car door opens, and a hand appears, helping me out. And then Parker’s fingers grip my waist and I follow him inside, wondering just like when I was a little girl if God will smite me down.
Chapter28
Cade
AMAYA’S AT MASS TODAY. I SAW HER THE SECOND I walked up to the altar, before I uttered a single word of the homily.
Ifeelher as surely as I feel Him.
It makes me angry she’s here with Parker and not here for me. That I’ve asked her to show up for the past month, and all it took was another man for her to appear.
A sinner faking as a saint.
Just like me.
She’s sitting in a pew next to her fiancé, and I glance around, looking for Quinten but not seeing him.
When I read from the Old Testament, she slips her hand into Parker’s and I stumble over my words and rip my eyes away. I can’t afford the distraction. Not here. Not right now.
Butnotlooking is like forcing two magnets apart.
I’m fairly successful at avoidance until it’s time to take Communion, and then my eyes flow back to her— always back to her— as she stands in the pew and repeats the words off my tongue.
Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Her mouth caresses the vowels like silk, reminding me of how they parted in the perfect O, mouthing my name over and over again the past few nights while I watched her through her window.
My ire grows.
When it’s time for Communion, she moves with the rest to stand in line, Parker’s hand squeezing hers as he drags her along.
My envy blooms like a weed.
“This is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. Happy are those who are called to His supper.” The words echo off the high arched walls of the cathedral.
