Page 25 of The Crimson Lily
“If it consoles you, I made sure you were safe,” he declares.
“How?” I immediately challenge, looking back at him. “You were gone!”
I swear he grunted this time. He rises to his feet and prepares himself to walk away. Instinctively, I catch his arm—stupid me. He remains still for a bit. I can see his shoulders heave to the rhythm of his low breath.
“You were safe, Liliana,” he assures in a stern tone. “Now, I don’t have time for your tantrums.”
I don’t let him dot his sentence. I stand up and, as short as I am next to his towering figure, stare him down with my furious eyes.
“You have no idea who’s behind this!” I cry, almost yell. People are starting to look, but I don’t care anymore. I let my emotions get the best of my self-control. I stretch out my fingers and begin to count them one by one. “First, I get a gun to my head. Second, I wake up in the hospital with everything I know taken from me. Third, I get you people at my door, and I get you almost beating information out of me!” I have to catch mybreath. Man, I am making a wonderful show here. “Then, I’m here in Paris with all the players of this twisted game. I wasn’t safe, Maksim! I’m afraid. I’m afraid someone’s coming to get me.”
I have no voice left. My chest heaves, and angry tears in my eyes dare to show.
He remains stern. “Wow…” he responds, almost sarcastically. “That’s tough.”
I go ahead and slap him?—
No. Nice try. He catches my wrist and covertly twists it in his palm until it almost hurts. I want him to twist it more. I want it to hurt, but it doesn’t quite yet. I want him to break my wrist. I want to feel the pain, so it’ll distract me from this fucking dread I feel. He releases me instead. With a slight shred of shame, I turn around, away from him. I can’t read him anyway.
“You were safe, Liliana,” he repeats with an obstinate sigh. “I made sure of that.”
He walks away, leaving me alone in this crowd of people who could applaud my performance. I scan the room and look at each and every one of them. I’m the best morning entertainment, aren’t I? I cross my arms, swallowing my tears, then move to get one of the last croissants.
Béatrice and Alejandro walk beside me, in the Luxembourg Gardens, on the path of sand and gravel that leads to the Palais du Luxembourg. Béatrice called me and asked me to join them. We had some talking to do. Maybe this is a bit of an intervention, but I don’t mind. I really want to see them and not be alone in this wretched hotel.
“It feels good, getting the three of us back together!” Alejandro exclaims.
Béatrice smiles. She looks much more relaxed than she was a few hours ago. Alejandro does too, much more comfortable than when I saw him yesterday. The two have to catch up on a lot of things. I, on the other hand, can’t remember a single moment from the past where we were all together. I guess it was nice because that’s what it feels like now.
“I found out Alejandro was also hanging around Paris 1,” Béatrice says with joy.
“Yes! Three months now, four to go,” he responds.
We walk the gardens together, like three school friends roaming the campus grounds. I don’t really have eyes for the nature or tall trees around me. I just look at my feet or at the few pigeons amassed by the large fountain with bronze statues at the center of the park.
Béatrice talks about her work, the lessons she gave, and the research project she did. Alejandro mentions his own project. He’s thinking of going back to Mexico after this one. One thing is clear, they are both really happy to see each other again, and Béatrice is more than relieved to hear Alejandro never believed William’s accusations in the first place.
“What does Maksim need you for tomorrow?” Béatrice asks me when she notices how silent I’ve been.
“Maksim? Is that his name?” Alejandro checks before I can answer her question.
“I need to guide him to open the safe,” I reply.
“So, the dagger is in a safe?” Béatrice asks again, just to make sure. “How will you guide him? How do you even know how to open it?”
I sigh. “I don’t know how or why I know, but I know. That’s why the Bratva came to fetch me.”
Alejandro gasps and frowns. “Hang on, the Bratva? Is that Maksim guy Russian mafia?” I’m saying too much. He looks atme with increasingly concerned eyes, like he’s getting a panic attack.
Béatrice and I nod simultaneously. He looks very surprised that it doesn’t surprise us anymore.
“You never mentioned anything to me about a safe, Lili,” Béatrice says again.
What she just said scares me. It’s something I didn’t tell Béatrice, my best friend, the one I tell everything. I am left with a thousand questions and no answers at all. Why do I know about a safe and she doesn’t? I’m feeling anxious—no longer about what will happen to me, but about the part I played in all of this in my previous life. Was I in on it with William de Loit? Is that the reason?
Béatrice must have noticed my distress because she lays a gentle hand on my arm and looks at me with softer eyes.
“Don’t worry about whatever happened before; what matters is what’ll happen now,” she says in her wise tone.
