Page 73 of Strictly Friends
She glared at him, but his expression remained deadpan. ‘Isaid, I came to tell you I love you.’
Griffin tilted his head to one side, his eyes narrowed into slits. ‘Love me like a brother orloveme, love me?’
Feeling so exposed and vulnerable that she could have cheerfully wrung his neck, Ruby replied through gritted teeth, ‘Loveyou, love you, idiot!’
‘That’s not a very loving tone,’ he said reprovingly. Then, before she could say another word, Griffin laid down his guitar and stood up. She looked up into his eyes and he moved so close that she could have counted every single one of his ridiculously long lashes.
‘Oh, Ruby,’ he sighed softly, a small smile playing at the edges of his mouth.
‘Are – are you going to say something?’ she asked, suddenly fearful.
‘You mean, something like I love you so much that at times, when I look at you, I can’t breathe?’
She nodded, biting her lip. ‘Yes, something like that.’
As Griffin looked deep into her eyes, her anxiety melted away. He reached for her, pulling her against him and wrapping his arms around her so tightly she couldn’t tell whether it was her heart or his that she could feel pounding.
She lifted her head, and when he kissed her, she wound her arms around his neck, clinging to him fiercely. As the waves crashedon to the rocks and the screaming seagulls circled above, Ruby and Griffin remained locked together and lost in each other.
Finally, she pulled away, her breathing ragged. Griffin held her loosely and nuzzled the warm space under her neck. ‘Well done for trying to keep Jake and Auntie Pearl on script, by the way,’ he murmured. ‘I’m sorry, but knowing how much she hates the beach, it was a bit of a stretch for me to believe she was bringing Jake down here to meet me.’
Ruby giggled. ‘Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the cleverest plan in the world, but after the last time we met, I was terrified you wouldn’t come if I asked. Now, Jake, on the other hand...’
‘Oh, don’t get me wrong, he was very convincing,’ Griffin said dryly. ‘Oscar-winning performance. Between Auntie Pearl’s blatant guilt tripping and Jake tugging on my heartstrings about feeling sad and wanting to go to Brighton with me, I was never going to refuse.’
‘He may have had a tiny bit of coaching,’ said Ruby, feeling a tinge of guilt for shamelessly using her son. ‘But he was so relieved I wanted to speak to you that he was well up for it.’
They perched on a flat outcrop of rock, Ruby’s head resting against Griffin’s shoulder and their fingers interlaced as they stared out to sea in silence.
‘What made you change your mind?’ he asked quietly.
Ruby sighed. There was so much to explain that she didn’t know where to start. ‘Griff, you’re the one person in the world outside of my family who I would trust with my life. When Kenny blurted out that you knew why he’d left, especially after you and I had just spent the night together... well, it felt like Kenny’s betrayal all over again, only much,muchworse. That’s why I was so awful to you when you tried to explain. I was hurting so badly that I hated you, and I needed you to hate me enough to never come back.’
‘Well, that was never going to happen.’ Griffin kissed the top of her head. ‘I’ve loved you for way too long to stop, and it’s hard to think of a time when you weren’t in my life.’
He released her hand and turned to face her. ‘I wanted you to go to Sorrel Island because I was desperate for us to shift our relationship into something more than friendship. At first, I told myself to give you space so you could hear the truth from Kenny and then, somehow, I’d figure out how to make things right with you. But Kenny didn’t seem in any rush to tell you, and then you suddenly started gushing about how much he’d changed and how ecstatic Jake was around him. I know you’d do anything to make Jake happy, and so I panicked. I knew I had to see you in person and sort us out once and for all.’
Ruby scrutinised his troubled expression and nodded. ‘Well, I told myself that going to Sorrel Island to find Kenny was for Jake’s sake, but it was also because I needed to find out where I’d gone wrong, and what I’d done – or not done – that made Kenny feel he couldn’t hack it with me any longer. The truth is that I was stuck in limbo. I couldn’t resolve the past without confronting Kenny and I couldn’t move on with anyone else when, in my mind, I was the problem.’
‘It was Kenny who left, Rubes. It wasn’t your fault,’ Griffin began, and Ruby shook her head.
‘Yes, but there are two people in a relationship. Just because I’d convinced myself that my life with Kenny was happy didn’t make it so. It would be easy to paint him as the bad guy, but I’m the one who chose to be with him and to have Jake. Right from the start, you, Mum, and Auntie Pearl saw it for what it was. Deep down, I knew the relationship wasn’t right, which is why I didn’t want to get married. My heart belonged to someone else, but I was too scared to acknowledge the truth, especially after Jake was born, so I told myself everything was fine until I came to believe it. I guessit’s been easier to blame you over these past months than to take responsibility for my own choices.’
Griffin reached for her hand, and she clung on to his and the comfort of his touch.
‘Fi said I don’t trust people, and maybe that’s true,’ Ruby said in a low voice. ‘But I think my biggest trust issues have always been with myself, and Kenny leaving me the way he did was all the proof I needed that I wasn’t enough. For years, I defined myself as the girl Kenny left, rather than appreciating the woman I’ve become. It’s been such a struggle to feel confident enough to accept me just as I am, and ifIcouldn’t love myself, I certainly couldn’t trust anyone else to love me.’
Griffin pulled her in and hugged her to his side. ‘I’m so sorry I kept the truth from you. I didn’t know how to disclose that conversation without you hating me. The idea of telling someone I love that the man they think they’re in love with has left them because of me was terrifying. If I’d told you what Kenny said, I would have had to confess how I felt about you, and – despite what Kenny thought – I was too scared you didn’t feel the same to take the risk.’
‘You could have told me later,’ she pointed out sadly.
He groaned and squeezed her tighter. ‘I know. After what happened to your parents, you had so much to deal with and I thought the best thing was just to be there for you and Jake. But truthfully, as time went on, I was scared to death of losing you, and that kind of crippling fear leaves you stuck. When you told me about your decision to go to Sorrel Island, that was the first time you admitted feeling emotionally stuck too. I honestly hadn’t realised until then just how badly the situation with Kenny had messed you up. I didn’t try to talk you out of going because you deserved the truth and to be happy, and I knew I had to face my fear of losing you if we were ever going to stand a chance.’
After a moment, Griffin asked, ‘Why did you want us to meet here?’
His voice held a trace of humour, and Ruby smiled at him wryly. ‘The beach has always been our place, for good or bad. I’ve behaved badly towards you, and I’m so very sorry for the hurtful things I said. I wanted to make this a good-news place for us today – if you’ll have me, that is,’ she added humbly.
For a long moment, Griffin looked deep into her eyes. Then, wrapping his arms around her, he held her close and she felt a tremor run through his body.
