Page 7 of Opening It Up
Those brilliant blue eyes looked down into mine as he gently stroked my shoulder.
I clasped my hands together to keep them from trembling.
“What are you suggesting?”
I knew exactly what he was suggesting. Knew with the way he was gently stroking my hair and patting my leg that he thought this was going to be a shock to me.
Well, ithadbeen a shock to me. Four hours ago.
Now I was just numb.
Harley smiled, and I knew he had been hoping I would ask that.
“Have you ever considered. . .an open marriage?”
I felt like I was wading my way through quicksand, dread and fear leaching any bravery from my bones.
My heart pounded as I stared at him.
“Of course, I don’t want to pressure you into anything,” Harley said. “This is just something to consider.”
Hanging there, unsaid, and I wondered if Harley even was conscious of it was. . . otherwise, our marriage is going to be in trouble.Otherwise. . . maybe we’ll split.
“All right,” I said.
“You don’t have to decide right away,” Harley reassured me. “You can think about it for a while. I have a few books.”
“It’s fine,” I said, trying to get my heartrate down. “I don’t need to think about it.”
Surely if I was calm and collected, andmature, of course, he would see that this was a bad idea. Maybe we could even laugh it off.
What a silly idea. Of course he wouldn’t want to do that. He loved me too much to want me to date other people.
But Harley didn’t laugh it off.
“It would help us learn more about our desires and who we are as people.”
“So you desire having sex with other women?” I asked, my cheeks burning.
The horrible sick feeling in my gut would not go away.
This wasn’t a joke. He really meant it.
Harley frowned a bit.
“It’s not about having sex,” he said reprovingly. “It’s about increasing our communication skills and deepening our commitment to each other in a sustainable way.”
The words all sounded good, very professional. But somehow they weren’t put together the right way.
“Monogamy is really a very modern, patriarchal idea,” Harley added as he began to unbutton his shirt. “Humanswere not designed to be monogamous, it’s a very repressive construct.”
Was that how Harley felt? Repressed?
“Is that something you want to explore with me?”
His strong fingers were gentle on my chin as he tilted my face up so he could look into my eyes.
My betraying skin heated up at his touch like always, as he bent to kiss my lips, gently, sweetly.
