Page 44 of Opening It Up
He had wondered what he had been missing. He had wanted to fucking sleep around, see what else was out there.
And now that it had all come crashing down around his ears, and he was sorry, did I forgive him?
How was I supposed to know he had changed?
After all, according to his podcast, this was the best thing since sliced bread.
And after his chaotic live-stream, he’d gotten thousands of comments demanding to know what it all meant. If he was still in an open marriage. If we were still together.
And he hadn’t said anything. Hadn’t recorded another episode.
If he cared more about maintaining a good face for his podcast, maybe we really should pack it up, and say our good years were all behind us.
CHAPTER 18
Harley
Istared at the latest revenue reports from my accountant and I couldn’t ignore them any longer.
Ever since I had suggested an open marriage, my life had been in a tailspin.
I was miserable, frustrated, depressed, and painfully, achingly lonely. I missed my wife.
I had fucked up the best thing in my life and I didn’t know how to fix it.
If I never addressed my last episode, my podcast career as a celebrity marriage and family therapist would be over.
But I felt like a fucking fraud.
What advice did I have to offer?
I was a jackass who had lied to my wife and had the stupid delusion that having the freedom to sow the wild oats I had never done in my 20s would be fun.
Well, there was a reason I had clung to Lily-Mae as soon as I had met her. My podcast had only been successful in the first place because I was so radiantly, transparently happy.
And then all this success had gone to my head.
What if she wanted to continue the open marriage?Forever?
There could never be anyone for me but Lily-Mae. I knew that now. No one woman could ever compare with her. She was the total package: looks, sex appeal, personality, and character. So if she decided she’d like to continue to also have sex with men whose dicks were renowned around the office, I would just have to bear it, even though it would be agony.
But first I would have to take some steps to make sure she knew I had changed and could keep my ego in check.
And unfortunately, the first stop was to somewhere I absolutely didn’t want to go.
“Can you—is it possible to lower the rent?” I asked Leopold stiffly.
He raised one salt-and-pepper eyebrow at me and leaned back in his chair.
“Lower the rent?” he asked, like the concept had never occurred to the harsh old bastard.
“My—podcast has taken a dip and revenue is struggling at the moment.”
Leopold smiled, but it wasn’t a very nice smile.
“I’m not going to lower the rent for you. But I do have an alternate suggestion. There is a smaller suite opening up on the 13thfloor. I believe it’s right next to Pete’s Premium Pet Emporium. You could switch your lease over to there. I have a bigger account I could put on the 27thfloor.”
Go under the 20thfloor? Share a space with Pete’s Premium Pet Emporium? It was definitely a downgrade, but what option did I have? The rents would be ruinous with the way my listenership had declined lately. And I didn’t need to have that 27thfloor anyways. It was just for my ego. It was time to stop running things based on my ego.
