Page 59 of Due At The Same Time
Indi’s fingers gripped me as with one last push her daughter came into the world.
”Amazing job,” I said, my knuckles white and tense on the railing of her bed.
Her face looked radiant, the auburn strands sticking to her forehead with sweat, and I brushed them aside gently with the cool cloth.
“Can I get you anything?” I asked after they laid her baby in her arms.
Would I be in the way? Did she want me there?
“A coffee,” she said.
“From your favorite place?” I asked. “I’m on it. I’ll be back in half an hour.”
I was so weak and sweaty with relief that my glasses kept sliding off my nose and I had to shove them in my pocket.
Maybe I could order some food for her, I was thinking as I headed back in the hospital. Or go out and get anything else she’d need.
Carrying her coffee carefully, I pulled the hospital curtain aside to walk into her room.
And stopped dead in my tracks.
Finn was there, bending over the bassinet to pick up his daughter for the first time.
Indi was smiling at him, looking luminous, and I watched as Finn carefully lifted their baby up and cradled the tiny swaddled newborn to his chest.
Now I absolutely hated this bastard more than anyone, but I let the curtain fall and stepped back.
I had to let them have these first moments together.
Even though it hurt worse than anything yet.
Numbly, I walked down the hallways until I found an empty waiting room, then I sunk into a chair and stared at the drab walls and gently humming vending machine.
I didn’t even realize I was crying until the tears soaked through my collar.
This was all that I had given up.
All that I had thrown away.
Through ego and immaturity.
Well, my ego had been shattered, then pulverized.
I didn’t care about any of the things I thought were so important. The only thing I cared about was getting Indi back.
And that might never happen.
She might decide it made her happier to stay with Finn. After all, he was the father of her daughter. He could give her anything she wanted.
I came with fuckingbaggage. Humiliating mistakes, cheating, betrayal, ego, a fucked-up family, and I had taken her for granted. Didn’t appreciate what I had with her.
Why wouldn’t she choose that other somebody who hadn’t fucked up?
My eyes were aching, and I went out and got her a fresh, hot coffee, then came back.
I didn’t want her to think I’d forgotten her.
Hesitantly, I walked into her room. This time, Indi was breastfeeding and Finn standing beside her.
