Page 36 of Due At The Same Time
“Indi—” I began, then stopped.
My throat closed up as I realized the most embarrassing tears were starting to prickle at my eyes.
“I am so sorry for everything. I see now that I was a pretty damn bad husband and I don’t know how you put up with me so long. I did everything wrong. Please, I want to start over.”
“I am carrying another man’s baby,” she said sharply.
Awkwardly, I slid off the couch and beside her on the ground.
“I don’t care. Indi, please—” then my voice broke, cracking horribly and to my horror I began to cry, and nothing else was able to come out.
She merely looked at me, arms crossed over her chest.
“Ambrose, we were only ever sex,” she said sharply. “It was nothing else. We hadnothingin common besides fucking. You got bored and cheated on me, the end.”
“No, it was more than that,” I said desperately. “Just let me prove it to you! Iloveyou, from the moment I saw you—”
“Even if I forgave you, I don’t see what you have to offer me,” Indi said. “I’m not in the market for selfishness and arrogance.”
“I want to do better—” I cried eagerly, but my dad was coming through the door with the batteries and she was already turning away from me.
The train ran like a dream, even puffing out little plumes of smoke, and Indi clapped and laughed, her face lit up and I was so intensely jealous of anything and anyone that made her look like that.
When we got back to my house, I turned to my father. This was step one in my crow-eating tour.
“Dad,” I said. “I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you. I haven’t been very fair to you at all. I want to apologize to you for that and make it up somehow.”
He looked surprised, patting down his flyaway hairs and bringing out a tiny comb to run through his moustache.
I resisted my urge to lecture, bulldoze, insist. I just waited.
“You surprise me, son,” Dad said slowly, and I felt like such a godsdamn worm. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
“Yes, Dad, there is,” I said, fighting my emotions again. "I want to be a better son to you. Would you like to do something together?”
He tucked the comb back in his pocket. “Well, now, I have been hankering for a real good game of Risk. And you know your mother doesn’t allow board games in the home because the colors clash with the decor.”
Spending hours over a tiny board moving pieces around and trying to capture Norway with my back cramping did not sound like a fun time, but instead of doing what I always did, I stifled my initial impulse and sat down with him.
I was 45 years old and it was time to stop being such a fuck-up.
The next morning, Astrid burst into the bathroom at around 9 am as I was shaving.
My now ex-fiancée had been strangely affectionate lately, which I hadn’t even noticed because I was too busy thinking about how to win Indi back. It consumed all of my waking moments.
“Get dressed, Ambrose!” she shrieked. “The baby shower is in 10 minutes and guests are already arriving!”
“But—” I said, glancing down at my phone to make sure. The days had all run together but surely I hadn’t forgotten that.
“Today is Indi’s baby shower,” I reminded her. “Not yours. Yours is on Friday.”
“I changed it,” she said.
There was a smear of lipstick on her teeth, as she smiled so widely I could see every one of her teeth and a gold filling shining at the back.
“After all, you wouldn’t want that little slut getting all the attention, would you? Now get down here.”
CHAPTER 12
