Page 55 of The Biker's Second Chance
Her voice slides through the crack in the door, soft, hesitant, and it makes my entire body tense.
I close my eyes, grip the bottle tighter. “Go away.”
The handle turns anyway, the door creaks, and she’s stepping in like she belongs here. Like she still belongs with me.
The scent of her cuts through the sour sting of whiskey and sweat. Sweet, warm, familiar. It makes me want to fucking scream.
“Spike,” she says again, gentler this time. She shuts the door behind her, and suddenly it’s just the two of us in this suffocating dark.
I don’t look at her. Can’t. If I do, I’ll break. “Didn’t you hear me? Get the fuck out.”
She ignores me, of course she fucking does, and crosses the room until she’s right in front of me. Her hands come up, soft and steady, framing my face. I flinch, but she doesn’t back off.
“Don’t,” I snarl, shoving her wrists away. “Don’t touch me. You don’t get to fucking touch me right now.”
Her breath hitches, but she doesn’t move. “Spike?—”
“You think this is some fairytale reunion? That you can walk back into my life and everything’s fine?” My voice is a growl, rough, venomous. “Zero’s dead. My brother’s gone, and you’re still standing here like you’re the victim. You’re poison, Jaynie. Everywhere you go, people fucking die.”
Her eyes glisten, but she doesn’t crumble. She takes it. Stands there and takes it, like she expected it.
“You think I want you here?” I slam the bottle down so hard the liquid sloshes over my hand. “You think I need you reminding me of every goddamn mistake I’ve made? Youshould’ve never come back. You should’ve stayed gone. At least then I wouldn’t have to bury another brother because of your shit.”
The words cut me even as I spit them out. They’re not true, none of them are true, but they tumble out like barbed wire, meant to slice her until she runs.
But she doesn’t run.
She steps closer, her chin high, her voice steady despite the tears sliding down her cheeks. “Say whatever the fuck you want, Spike. Tear me down, call me poison, blame me for all of it. But I’m not leaving you. Not now. Not ever.”
I shake my head hard, drag a hand down my face, furious at her, furious at myself. “You don’t get it. I can’t protect you. I can’t protect anyone. I couldn’t even protect Zero.” My voice cracks, rage and grief shredding me from the inside. “What the fuck makes you think I’ll keep you safe?”
Her hands are on me again before I can push her away, palms warm against my cheeks, forcing me to look at her. Her gaze is fire, sharp and unyielding.
“Because I trust you,” she says, voice fierce now. “Even when you don’t trust yourself. Because I fucking love you. And nothing you say is going to make me walk away.”
Her words sink into me like nails, dragging open wounds I’ve been trying to cauterize with whiskey and anger.
“You’re fucking stupid,” I rasp, shaking her hands off again. “You hear me? Stupid. Blind. You want to love a failure? Fine. That’s on you. But don’t expect me to play along with that bullshit. I am not the man you think I am. I’m not the man you want me to be. And I sure as fuck am not the man who’s gonna keep you breathing when Xavier finally gets his hands on you.”
Her jaw tightens. She doesn’t back off. “You’re wrong.”
“Wrong?” I laugh, but there’s no humor in it. Just rage and despair twisted together. “I led that run today. I called it early.You think Leo made that call? No. It was me. And now Zero’s body is cooling in the ground. That’s on me, Jaynie. On me. And you’re standing here telling me I can protect you? That I can love you the way you deserve? No. I can’t. I’ll destroy you. Same way I destroyed him.”
I slam my fist into the wall, the drywall caving under the force, pain splitting my knuckles. It feels good. It feels like punishment. But when I look back at her, she doesn’t even flinch.
“You done?” she whispers.
I choke on the lump in my throat, fury and grief warring inside me. “Why the fuck won’t you leave? Why won’t you just make this easier for both of us?”
“Because I love you,” she says again, this time quieter, steadier. “Because I’ve always loved you. And because I know the man under all this bullshit you’re spewing. The man who held me when I was scared, the man who fought for me when no one else would. That man is still in there, Spike. And I’m not walking away, no matter how hard you try to make me.”
I stare at her, chest heaving, heart splitting open in my ribcage. I want to scream at her. Shake her. Break her down until she finally understands she deserves better.
But she doesn’t move. Doesn’t flinch.
And for the first time since I watched Zero’s blood spill into the dirt, I feel something other than rage and guilt.
I feel terrified.
