Page 4 of The Biker's Second Chance
In fact, I’m not sure I’ll be able to find the help I need anywhere.
The night air is colder now that the heat of my frustration has receded. I lift my chin up to the sky and let the wetness in the air wash against my face. How I wish it would rain right now. At least the water would wash away some of the dread I was feeling.
Just take one step and then another one.
Repeating that mantra in my mind is the only way I make it back to my car.
I don’t know where to go, or even what I’m going to do for that matter. All I know is I need to get away from Spike and the rest of the Chrome Creed. Just being in that clubhouse reminds me of exactly what I missed out on when I decided to walk out of Spike’s life.
With the darkness getting heavier and heavier the longer I am outside, I make the decision to simply go back where I came from. Leo set me up with a hotel room. I’m not sure how long I’llbe able to stay here, but at least I know I can stay here for the night.
I park my car in the lot. There are a few cars in the area. Some that I can only assume are abandoned, and others that I’m sure will only be here for an hour or so.
It seems the night walkers and prostitutes use this place to turn their tricks. It’s none of my business. I don’t want anything to do with that.
Slowly, I walk away from my car, making sure to lock the doors as I step out. My attention snaps to the side when I hear a woman’s laughter.
She tosses her head back, and just from the bit of streetlight shining on her face, I can see the garish red lipstick on her lips and the bright blue shadow on her slightly hooded eyes. Her eyes flick in my direction for a second before she continues pawing and laughing with her john.
In that instant, I can tell this was all just work for her. The laughter, pretending to be enjoying herself, all of it was just a job. Staying safe was part of it. The minute she realized I wasn’t going to be a threat was the minute she put me out of her mind.
Is that really how I’m perceived? As a non-threat?
It’s sad. How someone as simple as me, a non-threat, could be so deep into the shit that not even an excavator would be big enough to dig me out.
The weight of everything that didn’t happen today felt like a five-ton slab across my chest. When I put my key in the lock, in that moment, my world flipped upside down once again.
Every last piece of my property was thrown around the room. The sheets were ripped up, mattresses flipped, and on the wall, one statement that will stay plastered in my mind for the rest of my life.
CHAPTER 3
NOT EVEN THE ROAD
SPIKE
My heart is beating in my ears so loud I can barely hear the roar of my bike.
This always works. At least usually it does.
I can always find some peace on my bike, but tonight the feel of the concrete road melting away under my wheels is doing nothing to calm me down.
Who the hell does she think she is?
I gave Jayne my everything. Loyalty, love, some of the best sex, and still it wasn't enough to keep her here. And now, in the middle of the night when I'm finally able to put her out of my thoughts for good, she decides to pop back up.
It feels like some sick joke. Like the powers that be are just getting their kicks fucking with me.
I twist the throttle harder even though I'm already pushing my bike to the brink. If I don't slow down soon, I'm going to wreck.
It's a scary thought.
Not that I can get hurt, but the fact that wrecking would be better than feeling all these fucking emotions surging up inside of me. I'll take a broken arm over loving Jayne any day.
I take a deep breath in and can smell the rich aroma of fumes and leather. Not even that is calming me down.
I whip to the shoulder and finally pull my bike to a stop. Sitting there for a minute, I look around at the open road and the darkness of the night surrounding me. To the unknowing passerby, it would seem like everything is perfect.
Everything except me. I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread and I have no safety net.
