Page 72 of Zeppelin
He pulls out slowly and arranges my legs in a line. He sprawls out right beside me and cups my face, digging his fingers into my hair. “Are you alright?”
I nod, not trusting myself to speak. There’s too much emotion, and it’s okay to feel that, but I don’t want to start bawling again, especially because I know that he’ll take it the wrong way and it will just worry him. He’ll think he hurt me, when in reality he was actually gentle and careful. It’s not like he tried to drill me into tomorrow, or literally through the wall.
I run my hand through his beard, then stroke his chin, trace his lips, and arch into him to kiss him. I sling my arm around his shoulder and tuck my face into his neck and just stay there, breathing him in.
I press my nose right against his pulse point. It’s beating so much faster than it normally does.
“I love this,” I whisper. “I adore you, I think. I mean, I know, I just don’t know if that’s the right word.”
The low rumble of his laughter vibrates through the entire bed. His hand splays over the back of my head, holding me to him. “It’s a perfect word, Ginny. Whatever you want to say is perfect, as long as I get to hold you like this.”
“I want to stay like this all day,” I confess, even though it makes me so shy that I’m glad I’m hiding my face.
“Can we? You probably have plans with your family.”
“I do, but I can cancel. They’ll understand. It’s mid-week. I’ll make up the time by working doubly hard tomorrow.”
His hand strokes down my back, rubbing small circles between my shoulder blades that make me arch into him just for the sheer pleasure of his touch. He’s always known just how to touch me to make my body light up and sing. His sweetness was the start of my undoing right from the beginning.
He pulls back so he can look me in the face, though he blinks several times like maybe he’s overwhelmed with emotion as well. I look at him like he’s the sun. I’m half afraid to let him see it, but he stares back at me with the same light and joy in his eyes. It sends joy sparking through me at a rate that I can’t contain. I’m sure he can see it leaking out of me in every way.
“Let me help? I don’t want you working twice as hard. Let me be here. I was thinking about it a lot on the drive back here, and if you’re up for it, I’d like to see if it’s possible to split my time at the club and out here with you. If you agree, I can sleep in the van while I help you do those renovations I promised, help you with the yardwork, with gardening, with anything you need. You can even teach me to bake if that makes your day easier.”
I let out a delighted laugh at the thought of him in the kitchen with an apron tied around his chest and waist, kneading bread.
I sober as that image is followed abruptly by me divesting him of that apron and doing sinfully delightful things to him that would only cause delays and recipe failures. I’m already sore between my legs from the amazing sex, but I swear that a small throbbing sparks back to life.
“You can help me if you want.” It’s easier to agree than I might have thought.
The truth is, I want to work side by side with him. I want to build a life, learn all about each other, but I’ll also admit that the house isn’t nearly ready to go through winter, or to bring a baby into it. That’s every bit as important to Zeppelin as it is to me. As I get further into the pregnancy, even if I’m not sick anymore, I’ll probably be even more exhausted, and some things might be harder with a giant belly to contend with.
I’m no longer afraid to accept Zeppelin’s help. I’m not afraid of letting him into my life.
I set my palm flat on his chest the same way I rested my head there in the living room with the guttering oil lamps casting shadows all around us. This time, it’s not sorrow that stops up my throat, but pure joy.
“Really?” He gives me a full brow tilt of incredulity. “Just like that?”
“If the club agrees and you can make it happen with your work schedule, I’d love to have you out here. Not sleeping in the van, though. I want you sharing this bed. I want to cook withyou, work with you, build this house and this life together. I’m done taking anything for granted.”
He nods. “Every single second with you is a blessing. Good or bad, I’m here.”
I tip my face up but leave my hand over his heart.
When he kisses me, it’s more than a stamp of ownership or a sealing of some deal. It’s more than claiming. It’s his heart flowing into me, and mine cascading right back into his, until they’re beating in unison.
Epilogue
One Year Later
Zeppelin
The club was, and always has been, there for me. It was me who had to change. I didn’t truly understand the meaning of brotherhood until I no longer had a brother on this earth. I couldn’t understand companionship when I was too busy being one of a set. I didn’t know how closed off I was until I split wide open, like granite rock revealing its quartz. Diamonds from coal, and all that.
Not that I’m a diamond.
But I now know how to appreciate them. I know how to love them, how to be continuously amazed at the generosity and the good hearts of the people around me.
Tyrant, who has a gift for gathering people around and loving them no matter how rough around the edges they are. Raiden, who so reluctantly took the VP position, and is the best one we ever could have asked for. Over the past few years, I’ve watched so many of my club brothers fall in love. It’s changed who they are, all of it for the better. I used to poke fun at it because I didn’t understand. I was never mean about it, but I was an asshole.
