Page 10 of Zeppelin
If this man was a part of my family or even a friend, I would hug him. I’d enfold him in tenderness and let it seep from me to him. It physically hurts even more that I can’t do that. I don’t want to invade his personal space. It’s infinitely harder just to stand here and do nothing for him. I rarely feel this helpless, and I hate it.
“I still haven’t told my family. Obviously. I just mentioned that.” I glance over my shoulder, but my mom isn’t spying on us from the kitchen. Not that I thought she’d invade my privacy that way, but I’m edgy. “I’m not sure how to explain why you showed up here.”
“You can tell them what I told you. That wasn’t just a bunch of lip service nonsense. Jack would have wanted me to look after you.”
“They know that I don’t need that, Zeppelin. Not to be mean. They just know me. They know that I’m strong.”
He thumps his chest, startling me at first, but only because the movement is so fast for someone so big. “Ineed it.” His voice breaks and his face creases. I sway back and forth, wrapping my arms around myself like the wind could blow me away when I realize just how dangerously close to losing control he is. “I need it, Ginny.” He shakes himself, clawing his way back from the breaking point. “I don’t think you’re as hard hearted as you pretend to be. I think you’re sweet and nice, like your sister.”
“My sister would have told your brother to go to hell and would rather have nut punched him than anything. She forced herself to be nice.”
He grunts, but at least the fine lines at the corners of his eyes deepen a little. Grave had that way of smiling without smiling. He’d kind of snort when he was amused and secretly wanted to laugh. “She loves you. She’s older. She wants to defend you. That’s admirable. I don’t blame her one bit.” He lapses into silence. I’m not sure what to say either. “You’re down a person for gardening, aren’t you? If your dad and brother are busy and Bronte’s in Hart, won’t you need someone to help out?”
“It will just take us a few extra days. It’s not a big deal.”
“You have to do all that bending and planting. It’s hard on a body.”
“I’m a hard worker. It’s not going to hurt the baby to do the things I was doing before. I’ll still watch it, but we’re good. Really.”
“I’d like to come back if you’d let me.”
Good lord, he’s not going to give up. There’s clearly something wrong with me, because with every time he protests that he should be here, my resolve softens. “Come on. You’d haveto take time off work for that. I livehoursaway from you. That’s not even practical.” Ugh,whatare those tiny seeds of warmth sprouting in my chest? I have plenty of kindness in my life. I have far more blessings than I can begin to count. I don’t need him to do this for me, and kindness isn’t a surprise like it is to those who haven’t known it.
I want to give him a list of twenty other reasons why it’s a terrible idea, but the door cracks open and my mom steps out. Swathed in her bright pink raincoat and matching rubber boots, she comes bearing a massive smile and herinvitation face.
I sigh inwardly. Above all, Mom believes in hospitality. No guest leaves without drinking their fill of hot or cold tea and eating their weight in baked goods.
“Hello, Decay.”
I cringe and brace, but I’m the only one. “Zeppelin, ma’am. That’s my real name and I’m thinking about going back to it for a while.”
Mom never gets flustered, so what the heck is the slight pink on her cheeks? Jeez, it’s the ma’am thing. She hates it, but Zep makes it sound flirty. Almost borderline dirty.
Great. My whole face is at least ten thousand degrees.
I shake my head subtly. I expect Zeppelin to just ignore me and take my mom up on her offer, stay for hours, make everything extremely awkward, and then somehow let it slip what’s really going on.
I’m ninety-eight point eight percent sure that before, he wouldn’t have hesitated to be as loud as he possibly could be in every way, including when he was quiet.
Zeppelin doesn’t even look at me for cues. He shakes his head, giving my mom a genuine smile that makes my insides shiver as it transforms his whole face. At the same time, a bolt of pain lances my side, rippling all the way up through my chest. I never saw Grave smile like that.
“I was just riding past on my way back to Hart and wanted to stop in. Ginny’s been nice enough to text me when I needed someone who just got it. I just wanted to talk for a minute, but I have to get going. I understand you’re busy too, and I don’t want to make things more difficult for you and eat up a bunch of your time.”
It’s a sort of innocent bending of the truth. Mom is absolutely charmed. Even I’m not immune. Until Zeppelin opens his big freaking mouth again.
“Could you use some muscle putting your garden in? Ginny was telling me about how you do a massive one to sell produce at the markets eventually.”
“Sure, if you’re offering!” Mom’s so excited about it. I wish I could melt into the ground and remain there for the next few weeks, until it’s time to have the next awkward conversation with my family about the whole,surprise, you’re going to be grandparentsthing. “We wouldn’t turn down help,” Mom goes on. “That’s very kind.” She gives the bike a sidelong look. I don’t know if she’s ever been sold on them. “It’s a long ride from Hart for you. It’s not all that safe or pleasant on gravel. Do you have a vehicle?”
“A cage? I don’t, but I could borrow one.”
“A cage?”
“Sorry. That’s what most bikers call a car or truck. Anyway, I don’t mind the ride and I’m used to bad roads. As for the garden, I’m used to hard work. My job is mostly heavy lifting, and I still hit the gym on top of it.”
That explains a lot. “You’re just brimming with testosterone,” I mutter under my breath.
Mom either doesn’t hear me or doesn’t acknowledge my bad manners. “We’ll probably be planting on Monday, but if it’s raining heavily, we’ll go for the next day. Ginny could text you. If you’re coming all this way, you should stay the night and let us cook for you. That’s only right.”
