Page 29 of The Boardroom: Kirk
Chapter 17-Marissa
Ella and I are huddled together in a corner of the hallway, last day of sophomore year, and I’m already getting nostalgic. This was the year that brought me Kirk, after all, and we spent all of Biology class today in a sort of bittersweet coma, lamenting the fact that the two of us could no longer sit at that table where it all came together.
“It’s amazing how fast this year went by,” I remark to Ella, holding onto her yearbook as she sifts through her bag. “It still feels like September to me.”
“Hey Marissa?” Ella says, looking up at me suddenly. “It’s the last day of school, so I figured maybe today would be a good time.”
“A good time for what?”
“To break up with Kirk.”
I stare at Ella, completely dumbfounded. “What do you mean?”
Ella gives me an annoyed look, as if she’s bothered by the fact that she has to explain to me what is apparently so obvious. “There’s a lot of parties coming up this summer, important ones. And next year we’ll be juniors, and then seniors. We’re going to be at the top of the ladder soon, Marissa, and it’ll be better for you if don’t…you know…”
“Date Kirk?”
“He’s nice Marissa, but…” she sighed, as if she was about to deliver a grim prognosis. “…when you date him, you drag the rest of us down with you, you know? People have been talking.”
I stare at her blankly. “Oh…well I guess I didn’t think about it that way.”
Ella glares at me, dead serious. “You have to dump him, Marissa. Promise me you’ll do it.”
“Ella, I…”
“I never thought you’d be such a bitch.”
“What?” I exclaim, “How am I being a bitch?”
“Please,” Ella says. “You’re just one of those girls who is always going to put guys in front of her friends. I thought more of you, I really did.”
“But Ella, I—”
“He’s a weird kid, Marissa. At least promise me you’ll think about it.”
“Okay,” I say. “I guess.” I knew, however, that if it came down to it, I’d choose Kirk. Always Kirk.
“Fine. I’ll see you at Ben’s party next weekend,” Ella says, and makes her way down the hallway.
I turn around, and Kirk is standing behind me, his face frozen in a strange mix of terror and rage.
“You’ll think about it, huh?” he says, and I feel my heart practically sink into my stomach.
“No, Kirk,” I say, grabbing his arm before he can turn away. “I just said that so she wouldn’t freak out, I’ll fix it, I’ll—”
Kirk shook his head and scoffed at me. “You’re always thinking about them, aren’t you? It’s always going to be about them.”
“What do you mean?”
“When we walk down the halls, you’re always so tense, so self-conscious, you breathe a god-damn sigh of relief every time we get a moment alone. You’re always going to care more about what people think, always.” Kirk shook his head, and I could see tears welling up behind his glasses. “Did you ever stop and consider how that makes me feel?”
“Kirk, I—”
He shook his head. “One day, Marissa, I hope you can be brave enough to be your own person.”
“But—” I felt like collapsing on the spot, feeling everything float out of my control, far away from my grasp.
“I’m done,” Kirk said, and turned away sharply to walk down the hallway, getting away from me as fast as he possibly could.
