Page 5 of Love's Patient Journey
“Mama,” Zac’s little cry brought her back to reality, and she slowly broke their kiss, backing away from Ryan. She didn’t trust herself; being in his arms seemed to cause her brain to stop working.
“Mama, I need one!” Zac was standing in the front door with Jem and Karlie, who was grinning like a madwoman. Jenna did her best to get herself together. She was staring up at Ryan, and he looked just as frazzled as she felt. Yeah, she needed to get it together and go take care of her son. She picked up her bag, and Ryan took it from her.
“I can get my own bag, Ryan,” she spat, sounding angry. In truth, she was mad at herself for forgetting her responsibilities over a kiss. An awesome, toe-curling kiss with a man that she had fantasized about since she was thirteen years old. A man that she knew was way out of her league. How could he want her? She had nothing to offer. She was a divorced, single, twenty-two-year-old mother. She could barely take care of herself, let alone a two-year-old. What Ryan saw in her was a mystery. Maybe he just wanted a quick fling before he shipped back out. God, that would kill her.
Watching him walk away from her two years ago just about gutted her, and they were just friends then. She wasn’t as torn up about her marriage ending as she was about Ryan walking away. Ryan's leaving ripped her heart out because he’d given her hope. She wanted someone like him, but he could never be her forever; his Navy career as a pilot was his life. So, she told herself to stop dreaming about him, stop hoping for him to be hers. Telling herself to forget about Ryan was easier said than done, especially watching her sister fall in love with and marry his brother. Their relationship made her want Ryan even more if that was possible. She was right last night—Ryan was a bad idea.
She yanked her diaper bag back from him and pranced, angrily, into Karlie’s house. She kissed her sister’s cheek and picked up Jem, tickling the squirming toddler, making her giggle, as she kissed all over her little face.
“Mama, I want one,” Zac said again, pulling on Jenna’s shorts. He didn’t like it when Jenna paid attention to Jem. He was used to having his mom all to himself.
“What do you want, baby?” Jenna handed Jem to Karlie and picked up her son.
“He wants a cookie,” Karlie looked guiltily at her sister. “Sorry, I know you don’t like him to have too many sweets, but I made chocolate chip cookies. He found Jem while she was eating one, and I told him he needed to ask you before he could have one.”
Jenna looked at Zac’s pleading eyes. The little stinker knew that she couldn’t say no to him when he made that face at her. She was such a pushover when it came to her son. Karlie was the same way with Jem, but Drew seemed to balance Karlie’s need to give in to Jemma. They worked as a team with their daughter. Jenna wished she had that with someone. Sometimes, she worried that she was spoiling her son, trying to make up for him not having a father figure around. Her dad was great with him, but he was Zac’s grandpa, not his dad. She knew that Zac was better off without Jake being his dad. She would never let Jake near her son; he was toxic, and she knew that he had no interest in being a father to Zac.
“Okay, baby.” She set Zac down, and he went running to Drew in the kitchen before she could even finish her sentence.
“I have one!” he shouted to Drew, causing the adults to laugh.
“Me, Me?” Jem pleaded with her mom, patting Karlie’s bare legs, leaving chocolate from her fingers all over Karlie’s shorts and skin.
Karlie laughed, “No, baby girl. From the amount of chocolate, you just wiped on me, it looks like you had enough.” Karlie picked Jem up and headed to the kitchen to clean her hands and face.
“So, Jenna—” Karlie began cleaning herself up, as Jenna and Ryan walked into the kitchen, “what brings you here?” Jenna glanced back at Ryan, and he smiled and winked at her. She could feel herself blush, and he actually laughed. She looked at her sister and Drew, and they were both grinning at her.
“You can all just stop!” Jenna pouted. “I don’t need any of you laughing at me. I’m here to borrow a pair of jeans.” She stared at Karlie, silently pleading with her sister not to ask why she needed the jeans. Unfortunately, Karlie didn’t seem to pick up on Jenna’s telepathy skills. When they were kids, they would try to read each other’s minds, but it didn’t work then either.
“Jeans? Why do you need my jeans?” Karlie was grabbing a paper towel to clean a very chocolatey Zac up. He squirmed and started crying when she used a wet one to wipe his face. Zac hated having his face cleaned. Ryan chuckled, causing Jenna to turn around. He was looking at Zac and seemed to enjoy her son’s antics of trying to get away from his aunt. Karlie finally gave up, and Zac ran right to Ryan, wrapping his arms around one of his big, jean-clad legs.
“Hey buddy,” Ryan reached down, pushing the toddler’s long hair out of his eyes. “Was your cookie good?”
Zac looked up at Ryan, straining his little neck, and smiled, “Good.” He nodded his head. “Want more cookies?” He was working the pout, asking Ryan if he could have another cookie. Jenna would have just given in, but Ryan soothed Zac, picking him up and tickling his little belly.
“No, buddy. You had a cookie. We’re going to have pizza soon. Do you like pizza?” Zac looked so serious, trying to decide if he wanted to be upset over not getting another cookie. Jenna braced herself, ready for a fit.
After a few seconds, Zac nodded his head, “Pizza!” He started clapping his chubby hands at the news about having pizza. He squirmed to get down, and Ryan complied. Zac ran over to Jem and grabbed her hand.
“Let’s play, Jem.” He looked up at Drew, causing him to bark out a laugh.
“Come on, guys, we’ll get the blocks out and build a fort.” Drew led the two very excited toddlers away to the playroom.
Ryan pulled Jenna into his arms again, and she went willingly. What about him made her want to just give in? “I’m gonna go and play with the kids too. I love to build forts!” Jenna couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of the two big guys building a fort while the kids watched.
“And honey—” Ryan lifted her chin, so she had to look at him, “you don’t need to borrow jeans from Karlie on my account. You can just wear those shorts you have on to eat pizza tonight. I like these a lot.” He ran his hands down over her ass, to her bare legs, and back up. Her shorts were a little too short, but spending money on clothes for herself wasn’t an option, so she had to make do with her cut-offs. He released Jenna with a quick,smacking kiss and left to find Drew and the kids.
“Well,” Karlie said, breaking Jenna’s attention as she watched Ryan’s ass as he walked away. “You two seem to be cozy.” Her sister wasn’t smiling anymore. She seemed almost concerned, the way she studied her.
“Jenna, I just don’t want you to get hurt.” Karlie crossed the kitchen and grabbed Jenna’s hand.
“I know that you worry about me, Karlie, but you don’t need to. I am a big girl now. My priority is my son and his happiness. But Ryan—” How could she explain to her sister what she and Ryan shared the day Zac was born? Ryan was there for her. He was the one who coached her through her labor and delivery. He was the one who wrapped his arms around her and helped her push Zac out. He was the first person, besides her, to hold her son. What they shared was more intimate than most people shared during sex. And then, he walked away.
“He’s not someone that I can say no to. I have wanted him since I was a teenager. He never paid me any attention, not until the whole thing with Jake. He was there with me when Zac was born. I just—I feel this connection with him that I can’t explain.” Karlie was nodding her head in understanding.
“I get it. I felt the same way when Drew found me on the side of the road. Everything happened so quickly with him, I thought I had gone crazy. But I felt connected with him from the moment I saw him. I think I fell in love with him on the side of that road. Everyone thought I was crazy, but it just felt right. I get it.” Karlie led Jenna to the kitchen table, offering her a cookie. Jenna couldn’t resist her sister’s chocolate chip cookies, even though she knew she should.
“I don’t need these.” She took two from the plate. “I still have a few pounds to lose from having Zac. My body isn’t the same as it was before pregnancy.”
