Page 3 of Love's Patient Journey
“What are you afraid of, Jenna?” Her gaze shot up to look him in the eyes, and she saw so much fury there, it frightened her. Sheshivered and looked back at the floor. His fingers gently lifted her chin until her eyes met his. She felt like his stare could go straight through her.
“Jenna—are you afraid of me?” His eyes darkened, and he looked at her so intensely, all she could do was shake her head. “Well, you should be afraid of me, honey. I’m no good for you. That’s why I stayed away as long as I have. I just couldn’t—I just needed to see you. God—” He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging on the ends. “I couldn’t stay away any longer. I thought about you and Zac so much over the past two years. Every time I came into town to visit Drew and Karlie, I drove myself crazy with wanting to see you. I even kind of stalked you,” he grimaced, “about a year ago, in town.”
“I knew that was you!” Jenna slapped his bicep and was treated to his flexed muscle. She quickly took her hand away, as if he had scorched her. “Karlie and Drew had me believe that you were still deployed. I thought that I was going crazy. I’ve thought about you, too, these past couple of years.”
Ryan’s face lit up, “Yeah?” He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her in a little more closely. She put her hands up to his chest, holding herself at a distance. Well, as much of a distance as he’d allow.
“Ryan, I just don’t think this is a good idea. Zac’s—” She looked into the family room to find Zac asleep on the floor, holding a train in each hand. “Adorable.” She finished her thought with a sigh. Ryan turned to see the sleeping toddler and nodded.
“Yeah, he’s pretty damn cute. He looks just like you. He has your blue eyes and your hair color.” He turned back to face her, “And he’s got my name. Please tell me that you don’t use his middle name when he’s bad.” He smiled at her, causing her insides to goliquid.
“I do have to middle name him a lot. He likes to get into trouble.” Ryan pulled her a little closer, and Jenna gasped. “Ryan, really—I don’t think this is a good idea. I mean, we just seem to clash.”
Ryan leaned in and smelled her hair. What the hell? He sniffed her! “Yeah, I know this is a bad idea, princess. But I don’t have any better ideas right now, so—”
He kissed her lips before she could protest further, pulling her in snug against his hard body. She gasped and moaned, which seemed to be what he wanted. He slid his tongue into her mouth, and she felt like she might melt to the floor. She was thankful that Ryan held her tightly when he deepened the kiss. He ran his hands over her ass and cupped her to him, letting her feel his erection. She completely lost control. It had been so long since she kissed a man, so long that she had been fantasizing about Ryan. God, he was even better in person. He broke the kiss, leaving them both panting for air.
“Yeah, this is a really bad idea, princess, but you’re all I can think about.” With that, he released her and headed for her door. “I’ll see you and Zac tomorrow evening, at about five?” She nodded because that was all she could muster. How could the man talk after kissing her like that? “I’ll bring the pizza and a scary movie.” He winked at her and turned to go out her door. “Lock up behind me, honey.”
He shut the door, and she quickly moved to lock up. She just stood, with her back to the door, heart racing and heat pouring off her body. Her mind was telling her what a bad idea Ryan Jackson was, but her body was screaming for her mind to shut the hell up. “Yeah, a really bad idea,” she said, grinning like a fool.
Chapter 2
Ryan didn’t have a clue what he was going to do about Jenna Ashbrook. He knew that he wanted her, but beyond that, he was at a loss. She was all that he could think about for the past two years while he was in hell. He had served two tours, with very little time off. He volunteered to go back overseas after he finished his first tour, over a year ago. His commander thought that he was crazy, even suicidal, but the thought of going home to stalk Jenna and Zac seemed pointless.
Jenna had divorced Jake but was struggling to raise her son on her own. He didn’t want to make her life more complicated, and the only way he knew how to do that was to stay away from her, and he did for as long as he could. After his second tour as a Navy pilot, he wanted out. He’d given the Navy ten years of his life, and now he wanted more. He wanted to settle down and have a family. He wanted Jenna and Zac. Ryan knew that he had to work through a few issues before he’d be good enough for Jenna, but he was willing to try. He just couldn’t bring her any more unhappiness—she’d had enough of that with Jake.
Ryan pulled into Drew and Karlie’s driveway and found the entire family playing out front. His niece, Jem, was the cutest. She squealed and started wobbling towards him as he got out of his truck. He bent down and lifted her into the air, causing a squeal of joy and a little drool to escape the toddler’s mouth. Jem put her little chubby hands on his face and kissed his cheek. Ryan couldn’t help himself; he laughed out loud when she left a little drool on his face.
“Hi, pumpkin, how’s my favorite girl today?” he kissed her cherub cheek and patted her back.
“Hi,” she said, nodding her little blond head. She looked so much like Zac since both babies took after their mothers, thank God. Both Karlie and Jenna were beauties, with their blond hair and blue eyes. Karlie strolled up to Ryan with her arms around Drew’s middle.
“Hey there, stranger,” Jem reached for her mom, and Karlie took her from Ryan. He kissed Karlie’s cheek and hugged his brother.
“How’s it going, man? Mom told me that you were back in town. How long will you be around?” Drew patted Ryan’s back and resumed his position beside Karlie and Jem, pulling them in close. Ryan felt a pang of jealousy. He wanted what his brother had with Karlie and their daughter. He wanted a family to call his own.
“I am back for good. I’m out and doing some civilian contracting with the Department of Defense, down here. Didn’t Mom tell you? That woman has been micromanaging me since I told her that I was coming home,” Ryan grumbled.
Drew shook his head. “She told me that you were coming home, but I assumed that it was just for leave. Wow, Ryan, that’s great.What caused you to want out?” Drew smiled at his brother—the smart ass had already guessed how he felt about Jenna. On one of his few trips home, Ryan made the mistake of asking too many questions about Jenna and the baby. Drew had given him shit about Jenna being too young for him and how she was finally getting her life together, how she needed stability. Like Ryan needed to hear all of that—he already knew it, but wanting Jenna hadn’t gone away. The short amount of time that he spent with her, while watching Zac being born, made him long for all the things that the Navy couldn’t give him. Sure, he’d seen the world, but he’d also seen the atrocities of war. He watched friends die and had to deal with the very real possibility that he could be next. He watched as his friends’ families suffered, dealing with their losses. He wouldn’t do that to Jenna, no matter how badly he wanted her.
Drew just stared Ryan down, waiting for an answer. “Keep on smiling, asshole. You know exactly why I’m home.”
“Language,” Karlie scolded, covering one of Jem’s ears, causing the toddler to squirm and want down.
“Asshole, Mama,” Jem repeated, not understanding the new word, but seeming to like the way both her dad and uncle laughed when she said it.
Karlie just sighed and put her hands on her hips. “Nice, Ryan. Seriously, could you not teach my daughter curse words? Drew has a swear jar that he has to put a quarter in every time he cusses. Maybe we should start charging you, too.”
Ryan reached into his wallet and dug out a five-dollar bill, “Here, darlin’, run a tab for me.” He winked at Karlie, causing her to huff out a breath. Drew pulled her in and kissed her, long and deep, causing her to swat at him. He cupped her ass, pulling hercloser, and she just melted into his hold. Ryan shifted from one foot to the other, a little uncomfortable watching them. Jem was also watching her parents, smiling up at them, and she took their hands, pulling their attention away from each other.
Karlie backed away from Drew, smiling like the Cheshire Cat, pulling Jem along with her. “Let’s give Daddy and Uncle Ryan time to catch up, Jemma. Why don’t we make some lunch? Ryan, will you stay?” Ryan just nodded, watching them turn to go into the house.
“You are one lucky son of a bitch,” Ryan said, turning to his brother. Drew was still smiling from his kiss with Karlie, love-struck.
“Yeah, I know how lucky I am. Every day, I wake up and thank God that I have that woman and little girl.” Drew looked more serious now, and Ryan knew that a lecture was coming from his little brother.
“So, you’re sticking around?” Drew didn’t wait for Ryan to answer, “Where are you staying?”
