Page 15 of Love's Patient Journey
“You’re okay, honey.” Seeing her sick made him hurt for her. He wished he knew what to do to ease her discomfort.
“Ryan?” Her voice sounded hoarse.
“Yeah, it’s me, baby. Do you need anything?” He replaced the compress on her forehead.
“Just you,” she sighed and rolled towards where he stood on the side of her bed. He debated about where he was going to sleep. Downstairs on the sofa seemed so far away from Jenna and Zac. He worried that he wouldn’t hear them if they needed him. He decided that Jenna needed a little push anyway, so sleeping beside her was just something she’d have to get used to. He stripped down to his boxer-briefs and slid into the bed next to Jenna. She was sound asleep again, so he left her alone. Just being next to her, in her bed, was enough. He didn’t want her to overheat or to make her uncomfortable. Sleep couldn’t come fast enough; he was exhausted. He spent the day worrying about what to do about Jenna, and now that he had found her sick, he worried about how to take care of her. He had to cancel their appointment with the lawyer. He would just reschedule when she was up to it. He sent over all the letters from the Ashbrook’s’ lawyers so that when Jenna was up to going out, they’d have a head start on stopping those assholes from getting their hands on Zac. He wouldn’t let that happen—ever. He couldn’t believe that they were the same people that he grew up around. Ryan had spent many summers over at Jake’s house, hanging out with him. The Ashbrook’s were like his second family. He saw how Jake feared his father. Mrs. Ashbrook was always too busy with charity functions and fundraisers; she never seemed to havetime for Jake. Looking back, he could see the warning signs that Jake wasn’t quite right, but he didn’t want to believe that his best friend could become so evil. He was blinded by the memories of his friendship with Jake, and he regretted not seeing the signs sooner. He could have saved Jenna, his brother, and Karlie from so much pain.
Jenna rolled over and snuggled into his side. He held her loosely and kissed her forehead. She seemed cooler to the touch. Maybe her fever had broken. He fell asleep, holding her, knowing that he needed one damn good plan to convince her that this was the way it should be.
∞
Jenna woke and stretched, running into what seemed like a brick wall. She froze, trying to remember the last evening. She vaguely remembered Ryan stopping by, but beyond that, everything else was a little foggy. She opened one eye and found the brick wall smiling down at her.
“Mornin’ baby, how’s your head?” How could the man look so good at this hour—whatever the hour was?
“Ryan? What are you doing here?” She started to lift her head from her pillow but lay back down, with a groan. It felt like someone had replaced her head with a bowling ball. She was thirsty and really hungry, too. That must be a good sign. Zac seemed to start eating after his fever broke.
“Zac!” This time, her heavy head didn’t stop her; Ryan’s arms did. He wrapped them around her and gently pulled her into his body. Was he naked?
“He’s fine, honey. He fell asleep pretty early last night. We played trains for a while, and then I changed his diaper and put him in his jammies. He fell asleep on the sofa, and I carried him up to put him in his crib.” Ryan was stroking her back with his fingers, and it made her feel calm. She even felt herself exhale.
“Thank you. You didn’t have to do all that, I could have—”
“Honey,” Ryan all but barked, “you couldn’t even take care of yourself last night. I told you this already. I want to take care of you and Zac. You need to take the stubbornness down a notch and let me help you. You need to let me in, Jenna. I’m not looking for you to make me any promises; I just want a chance to show you how good we can be. I love you, Jenna, and you need to get used to me being around. I’m not going anywhere, baby.” He kissed her forehead, and she relaxed a little more. What was it about this man that made her feel so at ease? She hadn’t felt this safe and cared for since she was a child.
“Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll try, Ryan. It’s just hard to let my walls down and trust anyone. I just need some time.”
“How about I check on Zac and make us all some breakfast? Your dad called your cell this morning, and I told him that you’ve been down with the fever. He said to keep your ass at home and keep your germs away from the office.”
“You talked to my father on my cell? God, Ryan, why not just stick a sign on me that says that we’re having sex?” Ryan laughed and kissed her forehead.
“Honey, I think your parents have figured it out. My brother and your sister are both pretty shitty at keeping secrets.”
“Shitty,” both Ryan and Jenna turned at the curse, to find Zac smiling at them.
“Ryan, this is why we don’t curse in this house.” She sat up and saw that Ryan was trying to hold in his laugh. The man was seriously a five-year-old sometimes.
“It’s okay, little guy, sometimes we men just need to cuss. But how about if we don’t say that word again, at least for the next twenty or so years.” He walked over and scooped the giggling toddler up. At least one of them was feeling better.
“Let’s change your diaper, Z Man, and then we’ll make mommy some breakfast.” Zac stopped giggling for a split second to agree with Ryan’s plan.
“Pancakes, Ry?” Great, the two men in her life had come up with adorable nicknames for each other. She guessed that worrying about her son getting too attached to Ryan was a moot point because he already was.
“Sure, little man. We can have pancakes.” Ryan turned to Jenna with an adorable questioning expression. “We have pancake mix-right?”
She laughed, “Yeah, and syrup.” Ryan and Zac both cheered, causing her another giggle.
“You take a shower, honey, and we men will handle everything else.” Ryan was pretending that Zac was a plane, and her son seemed to love it.
“Yeah, honey Mommy, you take a shower.” Zac parroted Ryan. She was going to have to have a talk with Ryan about watching what he said around Zac. Although she only had a problem with her son picking up curse words.
Ryan laughed and flew Zac into his room. She could hear Zac’s squeals of laughter followed by Ryan’s own deep, sexy laugh. Shenever knew that changing a diaper could involve so much joy. She must have been doing it wrong these past couple of years.
She decided that a shower seemed like a good idea. Sometime during the night, her fever broke, and she was a sweaty, sticky mess. She slowly got up and padded into the bathroom. Jenna turned on her shower and laughed to herself at the noises still coming from Zac’s room. It amazed her how Zac and Ryan seemed to take to each other. She was so worried about the two not getting along. She never imagined that they would be best friends in just a few short days. She wondered why it seemed to be so hard for someone like Jake to be a good father to his son. Jake didn’t even want a relationship with Zac. Yet Ryan, a man with no blood ties to her son, seemed to have fallen completely in love with him. Maybe it had more to do with the man and less to do with blood. That was just the type of guy Ryan was he loved with his whole heart and wasn’t afraid to let others know how he felt. She wished it came that easily for her. She wished she could just admit her feelings for him and be done with all this doubt and drama.
Taking care of Zac and then catching the virus herself made her realize just how much being alone sucked. She had recounted her and Ryan’s conversations that led up to her asking him to leave. She was a fool for kicking him out. She wanted him to stay. She wanted to tell him that she loved him too, but she was a chicken. Was protecting her heart more important than telling Ryan how she felt about him?
She showered and quickly dressed, deciding that Ryan deserved to hear how she truly felt about him. As soon as Zac went to pre-school, she was going to pour her heart out to Ryan and let the chips fall where they may. When she got down to the kitchen, she found Ryan and Zac with pancake mix coating most of theirfaces. She giggled and grabbed a towel to wipe Zac’s little face. He tried to shake her off, making Ryan laugh too.
