Page 13 of Love's Patient Journey
Jenna shook her head, furious with him. “You don’t get to make those decisions for me, Ryan. What gives you the right to decide how I can and can’t feel about you?”
“I told you last night that you are mine, and I meant it. I want to take care of you, baby. I want to protect you and Zac. Staying away was the only way I knew how to do that,” Ryan whispered.
Jenna shoved out of his arms, and Ryan let her walk away from him. “I’m so mad right now. I can’t believe that we both wasted the past two years being apart, and in love with the other, just because you made a stupid decision for both of us.” Jenna paced in her kitchen and glanced up at Ryan. The fool was smiling—did he honestly think that her being pissed off at him was funny? She crossed her arms and heaved out a breath. “What could possibly be funny enough for you to be smiling like a loon right now?” Ryan crossed her kitchen and stood in front of her. “Honey, you just said that you love me.” He brushed her unruly hair back from her face. She started to go over the last few minutes in her mind. When she realized that he was right, she gasped and covered her mouth, but it was too late to keep her words in.
“Yeah, that’s right, honey. You can’t take that back, either. When you tell someone that you love them, even in the wake of a temper tantrum, it counts.” He was smiling again, and she didn’t like it.
“I don’t have temper tantrums,” she stomped her foot on her hardwood floor, causing Ryan to bark out a laugh.
“Ah, so that little display, just now, was a—” She growled and walked away from Ryan. He followed her up to her bedroom and quietly shut her door.
“Honey, I don’t want to fight with you.” He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her, snuggling her close. “And I don’t want to rush you into saying something that you aren’t ready to say. You have to know that I’m not going to stop saying that I love you, because I do, and that’s not gonna change.”
She closed her eyes and melted into his chest. She wanted so badly to believe everything he said to her, but she just needed some time to process everything. After getting no sleep last nightand having a few mind-blowing orgasms, the last thing she could do was think straight.
“Ryan, I just think that I need some time to think. Things didn’t exactly go as planned last night, and I feel like I need to get off this roller coaster for a while, take care of my son, and just figure a few things out. Can you at least give me that? I just need some time.”
Ryan seemed reluctant to let her go, but he did. He crossed her room and pulled on his clothes from the night before. God, their evening seemed like it started years ago, not just a few hours before. He didn’t say too much as he grabbed the rest of his belongings and started out of the room.
“You want some time, princess? I’ll give you time. But the way that I feel about you isn’t going to change, no matter how much time you take. I will pick you up tomorrow for our visit to the lawyer.” Jenna started to protest about him taking her to see her lawyer. “We are keeping that appointment, Jenna, so don’t even try to back out! Tell Zac that I hope he feels better.” He crossed the room and kissed her forehead so softly, she barely felt it. He turned to go, and the next thing she heard was her front door quietly closing.
Jenna couldn’t help herself; she hit her knees. She was tired and worn out emotionally; she couldn’t seem to keep herself standing, and she just didn’t care. She might have just let the best thing in her life, besides Zac, walk out her door. She just hoped that she wasn’t making the biggest mistake of her life.
∞
Staying away from Jenna and Zac had been damn near impossible. It had been a day, and Ryan felt like he was going out of his fucking mind. Once he got back into town, the first stop he made was to Jenna’s front porch. He wanted to be with her all the time. He should be there, helping with Zac and taking care of both of them. His mom told him that Jemma was sick too and that it was best to stay away from Drew’s house, to prevent him from catching the bug. She said that he needed to be careful with starting his new job. Ryan didn’t know how to tell his mom about everything that happened with Jenna and Zac, so he just didn’t tell her anything. He didn’t even know where he and Jenna even stood, so it was no use getting the woman’s hopes up. She’d start buying Zac toys and presents before he could even get the whole story out. She constantly hounded him about settling down with the right woman and having kids. He knew she’d love Zac and Jenna as much as he did, but his future with Jenna was up in the air. He knew that he couldn’t force Jenna to love him, but he also knew that she did. She was just having trouble coming to terms with it.
He had some time to sort out his shit before coming home and realizing that he was in love with Jenna was easy. Deciding what to do about her was the hard part. He didn’t want to push her into something she wasn’t ready for. At the same time, if he gave her too much space, she might talk herself out of their relationship, and that wasn’t acceptable.
“Fuck,” he pounded his fist on the kitchen table. He turned, hearing his youngest brother, Shephard, laughing at him from the kitchen door.
“Easy there, big guy,” Shep coaxed. “She can’t be worth all that anger.”
“Who the fuck says it’s a woman who has me pissed?” Ryan growled at his brother, not seeming to be able to control his anger. He sighed, trying to rein in his anger.
“Sorry, man.” Ryan got up from the table and crossed the room to hug his little brother. “It’s good to see you, Shep.”
“Yeah, you too, bro. It’s been a while. Where have you been hiding?” Shep patted Ryan’s back, releasing him to grab a cup of coffee.
“You know, just finishing up with the Navy. I’m sure Mom told you that I’m sticking around. I got a job at the Department of Defense.”
“Yeah, she’s told me, Maddie, and half the town. She’s happy you’re home, cut her some slack.”
Ryan nodded his head, “I know, it just takes me some time to readjust to Mom’s ability to spread the word. That woman would have been useful in a war; she could get the news to just about every place.” They both laughed.
“So, who’s the woman that has you beating the shit out of mom’s furniture?” Shep smirked, the asshole.
Ryan sighed, not even trying to deny the truth to his brother’s question. “Jenna Ashbrook. God, that woman makes me so mad, so crazy, and so—hot.”
Shep was laughing again at him, and Ryan knew that his scowl wasn’t helping. “Shut the fuck up, man. Tell me what’s new with you before I decide to beat your ass.”
Shep’s smile seemed to deflate a little with his brother’s threat. Being the oldest did have some perks, even though on most days, none of his younger siblings showed him any respect.
“I’m in the police academy now. I’m just about done training. You’d think a college degree would prepare you for all the crap the academy puts you through, but it doesn’t. My criminal justice degree sure didn’t teach me how to handle the ass whooping that I have to go through every day for training.” Shep rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. “But I love it, man. I feel like it’s’ what I’m meant to do with my life.”
Ryan smiled at his little brother. “You seeing anyone?”
“Who has the time? I get up, train, and sleep as much as I can. If I’m lucky, I get to eat too. Someday, I may settle down, when I’m an old man, like you.” Shep walked across the kitchen and caught Ryan up in a bear hug. Damn if his little brother wasn’t bigger than him.
