Page 11 of Love's Patient Journey
Ryan nodded, “Yep, as long as you’re good with that. I plan on spending a lot of nights with you, as long as you think it’s okay for Zac to see me here.” Jenna wasn’t sure how she felt about that. She hadn’t thought about a man being over while her son was home. But this was Ryan, not just some guy. She knew that he wouldn’t do anything to upset or confuse Zac.
“We’ll take that slowly. As long as Zac is on board, then it’s okay with me. We just—well, we can’t have sex until he goes to bed.” Jenna fidgeted, not comfortable talking about her son and sex with Ryan.
“Then, you’ll be mine,” Ryan leaned in and took her mouth, sliding his tongue in to find hers. He kissed and licked her lips until they were both out of breath. There was that word again, “mine”; she didn’t want to get her hopes up, guessing what Ryan meant by it. She wanted nothing more than to be his, but she wanted him for a long time. She wasn’t sure that she could trust her feelings, let alone read his.
Ryan smoothed the wrinkles from between her eyebrows, and she realized that she was screwing up her face, thinking too hard. “Honey, whatever you’re thinking, it’s probably not that bad,” he gave her a quick, hard peck on the lips. “I don’t say anything that I don’t mean, and honey, I mean that you are mine.” Jenna shivered at his words.
“Okay, baby, let’s take a look at those papers,” he gestured to the table, where Jenna had put them.
She set her plate on the coffee table and picked up the letters from the lawyers and Jake’s family. She handed them to Ryan, not sure that she wanted to involve him in her legal business. But Ryan had known the Ashbrook family since he was a kid, and he might be able to give her some insight into her problem.
“I just don’t know what to do about all of this,” she shook her head as Ryan read them over. “I’m so worried that the Ashbrook’s will get their hands on Zac and that he’ll turn out just like Jake. I talked to a lawyer, one time, because that was all I could afford. The lawyer’s fees would be astronomical to fight them; I’d have to sell my house. My parents have offered to help,but they can’t afford the fees any more than I can. I just can’t fight someone with that much money and power. I’m sure you heard how Mr. Ashbrook hired the best lawyers in the state to defend Jake. He got off easy for what he did to my family.” Ryan nodded his agreement, still looking over the papers.
“Jake did get off easy, honey, but I plan on making sure that the Ashbrook’s never touch you or Zac again. I know a lawyer, Tom Gentry, we were in the Navy together—he’s a good friend. I trust him with my life. He was a Naval lawyer but left to go into the private sector. He is a partner in his dad’s firm, here in town. I talked to him today, and he has agreed to look at your case.” Ryan set the papers down and pulled Jenna into his lap.
“Wait—” She stiffened in his arms, alarms going off in her head. “You talked to him today? How is that possible when I just told you about this situation less than an hour ago?” Jenna started to climb off his lap, but Ryan gently held her in place.
“Don’t go getting upset, baby. When I went over to Karlie and Drew’s this morning, Drew told me that you were having trouble with Jake and his parents. He didn’t tell me much, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask my buddy to take a look at your case,” Ryan admitted.
Jenna eased a little and cuddled back into Ryan’s chest. “Sorry, I’m just very private when it comes to my and Zac’s personal lives. I don’t like to ask for help. I feel like such a screw up sometimes because I believed everything Jake told me. He cheated on my sister with me. I feel like I unleashed all his anger on my family, and that my sister and parents had to pay the price for my screw-ups. The only good thing, no great thing, which came out of the whole mess with Jake was Zac. I’d do it all again to have that little boy.” She felt her eyes well up with unshed tears, and Ryan gently brushed her cheek as they fell.
“But now, I can’t let any of my problems touch my family. Karlie and Drew have Jemma, and they need to concentrate on their little family. My mom and dad are on the verge of being able to retire, and they deserve some happiness after what I put them through.”
“And who do you have, Jenna? Who’s there to stand by you?” Ryan was kissing her face, wiping her now flowing tears with his hands.
“I have Zac, and he has me,” Jenna sobbed. Ryan pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her. She felt so safe and comforted in his arms. Jenna knew that she could get lost in him, but that was also her greatest fear. She didn’t want to ever get so caught up in a relationship that she lost sight of reality. She never knew if she’d be able to trust a man completely again. Ryan made her want to try, though.
“Now you have me, Jenna. You and Zac both have me,” Ryan all but whispered his pledge to her, and she sighed, wanting to believe him.
“Ryan, you can’t just stop your life for me and Zac. I’m sure that you have a lot to do, now that you are home again.”
“Jenna, I already have a job lined up with the Department of Defense. I am living with my parents, much to my mother’s delight, until I can find a house. I have the time, but even more importantly, I want to do this. I told you; I want to take care of the two of you, and I meant it. I have already arranged a meeting for us, Monday evening, with Tom. Please, let me do this for you.” Jenna was quiet; she couldn’t decide what to do. She didn’t want to ask Ryan for help with her ex-husband, but she also didn’t want to give up the chance to have a good lawyer working on her case. Finally, she nodded, and Ryan blew out a breaththat he must have been holding while waiting for her to answer.
“Okay, I’ll talk to your friend and let you help us, for Zac’s sake. But Ryan, I will pay you back for everything.”
∞
God, she seemed so vulnerable in his arms; he couldn’t believe what she was going through. The letters that she had received from both Jake’s and the Ashbrook’s’ lawyers were threatening enough to scare even him. Jenna needed his help, and he planned on making sure she took it. He already felt guilty enough that he never did anything to stop Jake from hurting Jenna in the first place. If he had just told her what Jake was up to when he found out, he could have saved Jenna and her family a lot of heartache. She was right, though—Zac was worth all the trouble that they went through. Still, Ryan didn’t know how to tell Jenna that he knew about Jake’s plan to get her pregnant. Would she still feel the same way about him if she knew that Jake had bragged to him about messing with her birth control to tie her to him? Now that he had taken a risk with her and possibly done the same thing to her, he didn’t know how to come clean. Maybe he should just rip off the band-aid; that was always the best way to handle a tough situation.
Jenna had all but fallen asleep on him, and he hated to ruin their evening even more, but he just couldn’t move forward with the weight of not telling her about knowing Jake’s plan. He started to sit up, and she groaned. “Jenna, honey,” he laughed at her protests, “I need to talk to you about something, and it can’t wait.” Jenna sat up and looked at him, worry on her beautiful, sleepy face. He just wanted to take her back to bed and make love to her all night long, but he needed to get this off his chest.
“I knew about Jake’s plan to get you pregnant.” She froze, fully awake now.
“Say that again.” Her voice was so stern when she was angry. He loved it when she went into her full-on “mom voice”.
“When you were dating Jake, he bragged to me and the guys that he had a plan to get you pregnant. You told him that you didn’t want a baby, but he messed with your birth control. By the time I found out, he had already done it. You were probably already pregnant with Zac.” He looked down, not knowing if he should continue or not. “You seemed so happy when you guys announced that you were getting married. I thought that you were good with the whole thing. I didn’t find out until later what else he had planned. That’s why I agreed to step in, and help Drew take care of you and Karlie.”
Jenna gasped, and Ryan looked up into her eyes. And God, she was crying again. He just couldn’t stand it when she cried. He felt like his insides were being ripped out. “Baby,” he pulled her into his body and held her while she sobbed. “Honey, please don’t cry. I’m so sorry, I just can’t seem to stop screwing everything up when it comes to you.”
Jenna wiped her wet face on his chest, “No, Ryan. What Jake did wasn’t your fault. I’m crying because you only helped Drew out of guilt. I was so stupid, I thought that you had feelings for me back then.” She tried to stand, but he pulled her down. There was no fucking way that he was going to let her believe that he didn’t have feelings for her—back then or now.
“I did have feelings for you, honey. Even when I tried to fight them and I ran away, I knew, deep down, that I needed you and Zac. I was just scared of what you made me feel,” he shook his head, remembering how he tried to deny, even to himself, howdeeply he fell for her. “I’m just so thankful that you gave me another chance, honey. I don’t know what I’d do if I had come back here to find you with someone else, or worse, if you didn’t have feelings for me.” He held his breath, hoping that she’d admit to him that she felt something, anything for him.
“Ryan,” Jenna whispered, “I have feelings for you, too. I have for so long, I can’t remember not having them. I think that part of me went out with Jake in the first place to get your attention. You were his best friend, and you didn’t even seem to notice that I was alive.”
“Oh, I noticed, honey. When you started going out with him, I wanted to fucking break him in half. But I had missed my chance with you. After that night, when he hit you and locked you in the closet, I knew that I wouldn’t let my chance slip by again. I had plans to walk away from the Navy, but I had to finish my time. I didn’t think that I deserved you. Watching you give birth to Zac made me feel so much that it scared me, and I ran. I didn’t know that I could want two people so much. I didn’t know that I would fall in love with you that day, but I did. Walking away from the two of you was the hardest thing that I have ever done, but it forced me to face the fact that I needed you.”
“Ryan, did you just say that you love me?” Jenna looked at him with so much damn hope that it hurt. He couldn’t be anything but truthful with her now.
