Page 91 of The Sapphire Child
The Raj-in-the-Hills, early October 1941
Stella was trying to put on a brave face. She hadn’t heard from Hugh in over a month. A wire had come in July to say that he was safely in Singapore, which had been followed by a brief letter in August telling her very little. He was travelling in Malaya requisitioning materials for the army; it was hot and humid.
I’d give half my salary to be in the cool of the mountains with my darling girl. I miss you. Keep writing and thinking of me. Your loving Hugh xx
She had written to him; at first almost daily and then weekly, but she’d heard nothing from him in six weeks. She wondered if she had the wrong address – or if his firm had moved – or whether he had been sent somewhere else. But surely, he would have written to tell her if this were so?
She needed to know he was safe and she needed to be reassured that he still wanted to marry her. Each day, she grew more certain of her condition. It had started with tiredness and a metallic taste in her mouth, then frequent biliousness and an aversion to certain food.
Esmie had noticed too. ‘You seem to have gone off Felix’s curry puffs. Are you unwell?’
Just the mention of the spicy, oily puffs was enough to make Stella retch. She brushed off Esmie’s concern. ‘I’m fine. Just a bit anxious about Hugh.’
That was in August. Now she was absolutely certain that she was pregnant; she hadn’t had a bleed in four months. The thought of carrying Hugh’s baby thrilled her and yet filled her with trepidation. What on earth would her mother say? Myrtle had written to express how pleased she was at the engagement, which had been a relief given that she had been so cautious about Hugh in the early days of their courtship.
How she longed to see Hugh and tell him the news! Perhaps he would then be able to get leave and return to marry her before her pregnancy was too obvious – or at least before the baby was born. She went cold thinking of the disgrace it would bring on her mother and family to bear a child out of wedlock.
As the number of guests began to dwindle and the Lomaxes prepared to close up the hotel, Stella went to Esmie for help. Finding her in the office, Stella closed the door and gabbled out her problem.
‘I’m carrying Hugh’s baby. I think I’m four months gone. What am I going to do?’ She felt her chin tremble. ‘I haven’t heard from him in weeks and don’t even know if he’s still in Singapore. Why haven’t I heard from him? Oh, MrsLomax!’ She pressed her hand over her mouth to stop a sob.
Esmie went straight to her and hugged her. ‘Oh, lassie. I was beginning to fear you might be. You’ve not been yourself recently.’ She steered her into a chair and poured out a glass of lime juice from a covered jug she kept on the desk. ‘Sip this.’
As Stella did so, Esmie asked, ‘Are you absolutely sure?’
Stella nodded. ‘I haven’t had a “monthly” since the beginning of June.’
‘Oh, lassie!’ Esmie let out a long sigh. ‘Have you written to Hugh to let him know?’
‘Not yet,’ Stella admitted. ‘I’ve hinted that I have something important to tell him but none of my letters are being answered. I don’t like to put it in writing in case someone else is opening his post...’
‘Then you must.’ Esmie was adamant. ‘He needs to be told. Perhaps he could get a few days’ leave and you could meet him in Calcutta – arrange a swift marriage licence.’
Stella latched onto the idea. ‘Do you think that’s possible?’
‘Once he knows the situation, I’m sure he’ll do his best.’ Esmie gave her a look of sympathy. ‘It’s a shame you couldn’t have waited...but I understand why you didn’t – what with Hugh going away and not knowing when you’d next see him.’
Stella covered her burning cheeks.
‘What about telling your mother?’ Esmie asked.
Stella’s insides curdled. ‘Oh, I can’t tell her! Not yet. She’ll be so ashamed of me. I can only face her with Hugh by my side.’
‘She’ll be expecting you home sometime this month,’ Esmie pointed out.
‘Can I stay on here for a bit longer? Please, MrsLomax!’
‘Of course you can,’ Esmie reassured her. ‘Perhaps Tom could contact McSween and Watson and find out exactly where Hugh is.’
Stella gasped. ‘Does MrLomax have to be told?’
Esmie gave her a pitying look. ‘He’s going to find out sooner or later, isn’t he? And I can’t keep this from him – Tom and I don’t have secrets from each other.’
Stella felt chastened. ‘No, of course not.’
‘But we’ll keep it from anyone else at the moment,’ said Esmie.
‘Thank you,’ said Stella gratefully. She twisted her engagement ring – a solid reminder that she and Hugh were betrothed – and was comforted by her friend’s support. It was a relief that someone else now knew. ‘I long to be with him.’
