Page 78 of The Sapphire Child
Andrew felt chastened. ‘Of course you do. I’m sorry.’
‘You obviously don’t feel the same way as I do,’ said Felicity, her eyes glistening with angry tears. ‘So let’s just forget about it. I’ll find some other man who appreciates what I have to give – a real man.’
She picked up her discarded hat and marched to the door.
Andrew got up. ‘You don’t mean that? Don’t go, Flis-Tish—’
‘I’m not your Flis-Tish!’ she cried. ‘And I do mean it.’
She slammed the door behind her and left him staring at it in disbelief.
Tibby found Andrew out in the garden smoking a cigarette.
‘Felicity gone already?’ she asked.
He nodded.
‘Want to talk about it over a pot of weak tea? We still have one precious caddy of Darjeeling left that Esmie sent.’
Andrew gave a grateful smile. Some of his happiest moments had been at Tibby’s kitchen table drinking potfuls of tea. He liked the way she never foisted liquor on him as his mother and fellow officers did.
Later, as they sat sipping tea in the gloom of a kitchen only lit by weak autumnal sun, Tibby listened to his outpouring about Felicity.
‘So, basically,’ Tibby summed up, ‘she wants to rush headlong into marriage and you don’t?’
Andrew looked sheepish. ‘I’m not sure she does want to marry me – I think she just wants to have intercourse.’
Tibby gave a snort of laughter. ‘Most men I know would be happy with that.’ Seeing his embarrassment, she added quickly, ‘Dear boy, you’re far more special than most men. I know you’re shying away from taking advantage of Felicity but it seems to me she knows her own mind. The question is, do you love her?’
‘Yes,’ said Andrew.
He can’t have sounded convincing, because Tibby pressed him. ‘Enough to marry her?’
‘I think so.’ Andrew wrestled with his thoughts. ‘I just want us to take our time over things. We’re both young...’
‘A lasting relationship needs more than just sex,’ said Tibby. ‘You need common interests too. Can you see yourself with Felicity in five – ten – fifty years’ time?’
Andrew gave a self-conscious laugh. ‘Is that how you and Dawan feel about each other?’
‘Don’t change the subject.’
Andrew shrugged. ‘We’re at war and I’m in the army. I can’t see beyond next week let alone next year or the year after.’
‘You’re still avoiding the question,’ Tibby pointed out. ‘If you can’t answer it then you probably shouldn’t be marrying Felicity.’
Andrew tried to make light of it. ‘That’s the trouble with having frank conversations with my unconventional aunt – you tell me the brutal truth.’
Tibby gave a compassionate smile. ‘Dear Andy, you don’t need to take any heed of my advice. I will support whatever you decide.’
His heart squeezed at her calling him Andy. It was the childhood name his father and Esmie had always used – and Stella. He didn’t want to think of them. To do so was too unsettling. His life was here, and the choice he had to make was whether he wanted to share his future in Scotland with Felicity or not.
Chapter 28
The Raj Hotel, Rawalpindi, November 1940
Stella carried around Hugh’s letter and pulled it out to read whenever she had a moment alone. The paper was tearing at the creases with the constant folding and unfolding. Her insides somersaulted every time she reread it, even though she knew the words by heart.
My dear Stella,
