Page 50 of The Sapphire Child
Esmie sat very still, listening to her unburdening herself about the final argument with Andrew.
‘I was trying to defend you from the wicked lies that his mother has been telling him – blaming you for coming between her andMrLomax,’ Stella said. ‘I’m ashamed to say I told him what Tibby had said to me in confidence: that it was his mother who’d had an affair – and also that she’d rejected Andrew as a baby. I was so cross with him for believing her every word. I should never have said such things – and I’ve felt wretched ever since for hurting him.’ Stella’s eyes flooded with tears.
Esmie put a hand over hers. ‘I feel so bad that we put you in this situation in the first place. I should have known that Lydia would try and blacken my name and turn Andrew against me. Even after all these years she still can’t bear the thought of me being with Tom.’
Stella felt she needed to be totally frank. ‘There’s more to it than that. I’m afraid it just confirmed the taunts Andrew was subjected to at Nicholson’s about you – gossip that you and MrLomax weren’t really married. Even before Andy left India, he had doubts about that...’
Esmie glanced away, turning pink-faced. ‘Oh, I see. That explains why he was distant with me before he went. Poor, dear Andy. Why didn’t he say anything?’
‘He didn’t want to believe it,’ said Stella. ‘He told me but made me swear I wouldn’t tell you. If I had, maybe everything would have been different.’
‘No.’ Esmie was adamant. ‘It was always going to come out eventually – we were foolish to think it wouldn’t. I’m just so sorry Andy had to hear it from his mother. No wonder he doesn’t want to come home – he must feel very let down by his father and me.’
Stella tried to comfort her. ‘I can’t pretend he isn’t upset by it all, but I think his decision to stay is also because he really loves Ebbsmouth and he’s excited about going to Dunelm School. He’s already made good friends in Durham – and it’s a cricketing school so I think that probably swung his decision.’
Esmie gave a wistful smile. ‘That’s good.’
For a moment they both fell silent. Stella knew Esmie was as heartsore as she was, so kept to herself the fear that Andrew was also staying out of an obligation to keep his mother happy.
Stella plucked up the courage to ask, ‘How is MrLomax?’
Pain flickered across Esmie’s face. ‘He’s not taking it well. He can’t sleep or settle to things.’
Stella felt renewed anger at Lydia. ‘I will never forgive Andrew’s mother for destroying his belief in his father – calling him a coward and saying he brought shame to the Peshawar Rifles. I tried to remind Andrew that MrLomax had been a brave soldier long before the war as well as during it. I was right, wasn’t I?’
Esmie nodded vigorously. ‘Oh, of course you were! As you know, Tom endured more than most men, losing his first wife, Mary, and their baby girl while he was away on active service. He bottled up his grief and carried on, but the strain of warfare finally brought him to breaking point.’
Stella was distressed at the reminder of this early tragedy in Tom’s life. ‘Did Lydia know?’
‘Eventually she did.’ Esmie looked burdened. ‘I wrote and told her what Tom had been through – in the hopes it would help her understand him better and save their marriage. But Lydia resented that I knew about it before she did and it just made matters worse.’
‘Poor MrLomax,’ Stella said, leaden at the thought of his suffering. ‘If he was court-martialled then he must have been at the end of his tether.’
Esmie nodded. ‘It’s true he was court-martialled, but I bet Lydia didn’t tell you the real reason why? It wasn’t for cowardice – it was for disobeying orders. He refused to carry out the execution of one of his sepoys who had thrown away his weapon. To me that was a mark of extreme bravery and humanity.’
Stella was indignant on Tom’s behalf. She had always admired him and now she did even more. She let out a long breath. ‘How wicked that people called him cowardly.’
‘Only those who didn’t know the real story,’ said Esmie. ‘Some were very unforgiving of Tom for turning his back on the army – but they weren’t the men he’d served with; they were the jealous types who thrived on gossip in a garrison town.’
‘If only he’d told Andy this,’ Stella exclaimed.
‘I encouraged him to.’ Esmie sighed. ‘But Tom finds it very difficult to talk about the past – and he still feels a sense of shame about succumbing to shell shock and being put in the dock.’
‘What can we do to help MrLomax now?’ Stella asked.
Esmie met her look. ‘Reassure him that Andrew is not unhappy with his mother and that Lydia has not forced him into this. Tom’s instinct is to want to rush off to Scotland and rescue his son – despite Andy’s letter telling him he wants to stay in Ebbsmouth. Tom’s finding it very hard to accept.’
Stella nodded. ‘Perhaps his mother will tire of the responsibility – once the novelty of having him around has worn off and she has to deal with a boisterous youth in her household. She’s not the most patient of women.’
Esmie shook her head. ‘Even if Lydia does get fed up with Andrew, she’ll never admit to it. She sees this as a great victory over us – over me in particular – and she’ll make sure he stays in Scotland.’ Her look was dispirited. ‘I can’t blame Lydia for wanting to mother Andy – not once she’d got to know him. I’d have fought to keep him with me if I’d been her.’ Her grey eyes glinted with tears. ‘And there’s one thing that makes me think that Lydia might be genuine in wanting to make a success of being Andy’s mother.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Her most recent airmail letter to Tom says she’s prepared to give him a divorce as long as he allows Andrew to stay with her.’
Stella gaped in surprise. ‘That’s good news, surely? For you, I mean.’
Esmie fidgeted with her necklace. ‘If she’s really serious about it. Tom thinks it’s to stop him appearing in Ebbsmouth or taking her to court to assert his rights over Andrew.’
