“Do you want to?”
“No.”
Her face falls, and I feel her disappointment.
“We’re not there yet. Maybe we’ll never get there. All the more reason to hold off bringing me into hiskids’ lives.”
“Do you think you’re afraid of commitment?”
“No. I think Chris died. Murphy is engaged. And Callen has a family. Let’s call it commitment cautious.”
“That’s fair. Is Callen as handsome as Murphy?”
“He’s exactly what you’d expect a lacrosse coach to be. Ruggedly handsome. Although shorter than Murphy. And he doesn’t …” I suck my lower lip in while rethinking my inclination to overshare.
“He doesn’t what?”
I shake my head.
“You can tell me.” She pulls her knees into her chest, gazing at me like a friend, not my mother.
“Callen doesn’t look at me like Murphy does or did.”
“What do you mean? You don’t think he’s as attracted to you?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s not that. Callen looks at me like he wants me, like he’s attracted to me. Murphy looks at me like I’m magical.”
“Magical?”
I can’t help but smile. “Yes. He looks at me with wonder. And sometimes he doesn’t look at me at all because he’s blushing. Handsome but shy. Then other times, he has such confidence it makes me weak in the knees. I think that’s it. He’s unpredictable in the best way possible.”
“You meanwasanddid.”
“What?” I squint.
“You mean he was that way. And he did those things. Gave you those looks. In the past.”
My friend is gone, and my mother is back.
“Yeah. Of course, that’s what I meant.”
“Maybe Callen just doesn’t know you well enough.Perhaps if you give him time, he’ll get that wonder in his eyes when he looks at you.”
“Maybe,” I whisper.
Murphy looked at me that way from the first moment he saw me. Maybe he looks at Blair that way, too. He should. He’s marrying her.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Murphy
Honesty is an okay policy, but it’s nuanced.
“You’ve never looked more handsome,”Blair says as the tailor pins minor adjustments to my suit for the wedding.
“What about me?” Hunter asks, standing a few feet away in his half-sewn suit.
“Dear, you already know you look handsome. This isn’t your first suit,” Vera says dismissively while focusing on her phone.