Page 95 of The Homemaker
“You,” she points toward the main house, “love that young woman’s fiancé?”
When she says it like that, it sounds so bad. And maybe it is bad, but I’m not trying to love him.
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m not stealing anyone’sfiancé. But yes, there are unresolved feelings. So I’m just resolving them,” I lie.
“And how exactly are you doing that?”
That is an excellent question.
“First, I’m being a good friend to both of them. When he wants to vent about things like cake flavors, I listen without interfering. And when she’s PMSing, I remind him she’s under a lot of stress, and he needs to go easy on her. I’m basically the glue holding that whole family together.” No one has to put me on a pedestal. I’m perfectly capable of climbing to the top all by myself.
“Is that so?” Mom narrows her eyes.
“Yes. And I make most of the meals, which means I’ve had ample opportunities to poison her, but I have not.”
She snorts. “Well, that’s a relief. So you actually like her?”
“I mean, I don’tnotlike her. Of course, when she’s hanging from his neck and suggesting they shower together, I want to kill her, but in an irrational, very temporary sort of way.” I end with a toothy grin.
Mom frowns. “Have you found a therapist here yet?”
“Therapist? No. When I have a weak moment, I AI that shit. I just type in ‘Should I kill my ex-lover’s fiancée?’ and every time, the answer is no. It’s way cheaper than an actual therapist. And usually it takes a while to get into their office. Blair would be dead by then.”
“Alice Yates. What is wrong with you?”
I laugh. “Nothing. I’m just kidding.”
“You have your father’s humor. And that’s not a compliment.”
“Well, he was a homemaker too. And we homemakersdon’t get enough social interaction to have anything but a morbid sense of humor.”
“Is that your way of blaming me for the divorce?”
My head jerks backward. “What? No. Of course not. He cheated on you. That’s not your fault.”
She takes a calming breath, shoulders relaxing. “Don’t break up their marriage.”
“They’re not married. And I wouldn’t do that.”
“They’re almost married. In your mind, you need to think of them as married. Understood?”
“Blair is O-for-two in engagements converting to marriages.”
“She’s been dumped twice?” Mom’s face wrinkles with concern.
“She’s the one who has broken off her previous two engagements.”
“Well, don’t you be the one responsible for number three.”
“Did I mention I have a secret lover?” I change the subject before my mother makes me feel any worse about myself.
On cue, she perks up. “A secret lover?”
“Clearly not a secret now, but yes. He coaches lacrosse at the university. His name is Callen, and he’s divorced with two kids.”
“Have you met his kids?”
I shake my head.
