Page 124 of The Homemaker
Murphy gives me a sad smile. “I tried to tell Blair. Igathered every ounce of courage I could muster and met her for lunch a few days ago. I knew it was going to hurt, but you aresoworth it. You deserve to be loved the way my heart has longed to love you since we met. And I struggled with the idea of wanting you and her. But then I realized that’s not true. I love two women, but I onlywantto be with one.”
He laughs, but it’s not a good laugh. “The end. And they lived happily ever after. Right?”
Nothing about his foreboding tone and eerie sarcasm feels like a segue to a happily ever after.
“Blair thought she was pregnant. She found out she’s not. She’s heartbroken. And I am her lifeline.”
I swallow back the bile that works its way up my throat, but it doesn’t quell the nausea.
He doesn’t look at me, and I don’t know what to say. Minutes pass. How many? I’m not sure, but the heaviness in the air just gets thicker and more suffocating as the silence drags on.
“Can I ask why you need to make so much money?” He changes the subject, and I take a second to process his question. “You have a free place to live.”
“I want to buy a house.”
“So you have space between work and your personal life?”
“Well, it’s not a bad idea.”
He squints. “That’s not really an answer. More like a second thought.”
“How did you feel about the possibility of Blair being pregnant?”
His face relaxes, and he slowly shakes his head. “Numb. Speechless. And …”
“And?”
“Crushed,” he whispers. “Then ashamed.”
“I’m so sorry.”
His gaze snaps to mine for a breath before he pushes out of the chair. My heart knocks harder against its cage with each step he takes.
“Why would you be sorry?”
“Because I think I took the wrong job,” I say.
“You saved a man’s life.”
“I’m destroying yours.”
Anguish brands his face. “Don’t say that.”
“Am I wrong?” I laugh. “We had sex. It was good. We were really good at it eight years ago, too. But I’m sure Blair gets your dick up just fine. She’s artistic. She has good breeding. She?—”
“Are you serious?” He rests a hand on his hip and stares at the ceiling. “Breeding? I should be with Blair because she has good breeding?”
“No. But it’s not a bad thing.”
Murphy pins me with a look. “Say that to my fucking face without grinning. Look me in the eye and tell me thatbreedingis a serious consideration for spending the rest of your life with someone.”
I roll my lips together.
“Nope. Don’t do that. Don’t hide your grin. Don’t pretend that you don’t see the ridiculousness of such a statement.”
“We’re done talking.” I pivot and click my heels along the floor toward the laundry room.
“We’re done talking when I say we’re done talking.” He stalks behind me.
