Page 118 of The Homemaker
He moved on with an enormous capacity to love. His heart stretches beyond its limits. Mine just sort of … breaks.
When we kiss, it feels like the rest of the world vanishes. Maybe it feels that way because I’ve simplified my world, giving little regard to all yesterdays and tomorrows. But Murphy has a life. Areallife. He has more to lose. More people who he can hurt. Accountability and responsibility.
Have we come full circle? Am I his escape? Does he need this for perspective?
The questions die when we release; my fingers loosening their grip on his back. For thirty seconds, everything is perfect. Utter contentment. Every cell in my body vibrates from pure joy and euphoria.
“Murphy.” His name tumbles from my lips.
What have we done?
Before vulnerability and regret have a chance to fill the space between us, he rolls to the side, hugging my body so close to his there is no space for anything else.
If he’s warring with his conscience or second-guessing leading me down here, I’d never know it. I feel nothing but his patient lips pressed to my forehead and gentle hands caressing my bare back.
“Hunter had a heart attack. They placed a stent. And he should recover just fine, thanks to you,” he says.
I don’t know what to say. Did I really do anything? All I remember is the feeling of drowning.
“Are Vera and Blair here?”
“No. Vera stayed at the hospital last night. Blair came home after the procedure, but she headed back to thehospital before you got here. Hunter wanted his Hermes throw blanket and Sea Island cotton sheets.”
I kiss his chest next to my hand over his heart. “I hope you comforted her. Held her. Loved her.”
Seconds turn into minutes, and he doesn’t respond. They weren’t questions, anyway. I just don’t want him to think I can’t understand how much she means to him even if I’m the one in his arms.
I slide out of his hold and collect my clothes from the floor, stepping past the door to the bathroom across the hallway. When I return, Murphy’s dressed, sitting on the end of the bed, head bowed, hands folded between his legs. I seem to have this effect on men.
“I want to clean the wood floors where the paramedics came into the house. Make sure all the laundry is clean. New sheets. Replace flowers in the vases. Get groceries.” I shrug. “I want everything to be perfect when they come home.”
He narrows his eyes for a beat before relinquishing a nod. “He won’t come home for a few days. You should go to the hospital. He’d love to see you. And Vera and Blair would too. They are incredibly grateful that you were here for him.”
“I wasn’t here. Not when it happened. I forgot my phone and came back to get it. Callen surprised me and said he tried calling me. That’s when I realized I’d left my phone. Maybe they need to thank Callen, instead, for coming to see me.”
Murphy stands and takes two easy strides toward me. He frames my face. “Alice, you are incredibly special. And I feel like everyone knows this except you. Tragedy is an unavoidable part of life. But I think the biggest of all tragedies is feeling unworthy.” He brushes the pad of his thumb across my lower lip before kissing me.
Every kiss with Murphy feels like a last kiss.
“Baby,” he whispers, “I need you to feel worthy. I want you to dream.” His lips catch my tears the moment they escape.
“I can’t.”
“Why?” He ghosts his lips along my cheek.
I close my eyes and grip his shirt to steady myself. “Because I’d dream of you.”
Chapter Forty-Five
Alice
Compassion is free. Loyalty comes with a price.
“There’s my guardian angel,”Hunter says from his hospital bed, wearing the most humbled expression I’ve ever seen on his weary, unshaven face.
Before I can answer, Vera wraps me in her outstretched arms and whispers, “Thank yousomuch.”
When she releases me, I smile past the lump in my throat and nod.
