Page 40 of Sapphire Flame
Talya laughed. “Even if I could, why wouldn’t you want such a gift?”
“I guess I don’t see what good can come of it.” She then confessed her part in the Fae-Wolf Wars of three years ago. “I know what I did was wrong. I will carry the guilt of the deaths I’m responsible for as long as I live. But I also hate what the wolves did, who they are, their basic savagery which you experienced first-hand.”
“Why did you engage in the Fae-Wolfs Wars in the first place?”
“My closest friend here in Revel was killed during the conflict. Alexis was the sweetest person, the only true friend I’ve had in Five Bridges. I was grief-stricken and wanted vengeance. It doesn’t make it right, but that’s what happened. I told Grant I’d played a part in the wars and he confessed he had as well. We don’t even know each other, and we’ve already done hurtful things. So how can this be good?”
Talya cocked her head. “Do you want to be with him?”
She debated revealing the truth, but there was something about Talya that invited confidence. Besides, Renee suggested she speak with Talya so there must be something to be gained. “More than I’ve wanted anything in myalterlife and I hate myself for it. But he and I pretty much agreed not to see each other again because of the wars. Now this.” She lifted her hand once more, but it was still empty of iridescent color and movement. “I keep thinking the wolf-sign will appear, but it doesn’t.”
“It’s new to you.” Talya shifted her gaze to the simple universal altar. Natalie did the same. The chapel didn’t reflect any one religion or belief-system. Above the altar was a large woodcarving of what looked like flowing water. It was mounted on a gray stone wall.
She leaned back in the comfortable pew and waited for Talya’s response. The sense she had of the woman was one of serenity, a very unusual quality in Five Bridges.
Finally, Talya began, “Since coming to Agnes’s compound, which I love, I’ve been asking myself what my purpose is, as analterfae, in Five Bridges.” She released a sigh but didn’t continue.
Natalie was curious to know what she’d concluded. “Did you come up with an answer?”
“No.” Talya laughed. “Life just sort of happens, doesn’t it? I was a cop before the serum hit and I loved my job. My transformation was a total cliché. The serum was in a box of donuts. Six officers went through the change. Five of us survived, including my husband, and here I am. That was three years ago.”
“I remember the incident. You must be a Border Patrol officer then.”
“I was until my gift kicked in about a year ago. I would be making an arrest and have a vision. I couldn’t control it back then. I got shot on three separate occasions and was asked to step down.”
She’d said it so matter-of-factly that Natalie was taken aback. “Three times?”
She laughed again. “Non-fatal.”
“Can you control the visions now?”
“Yes, but I won’t be allowed back on the force. It’s been tough. I feel like I was made for police work.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I still don’t have a clear purpose for these visions. Like right now. I want to help you, but all I have is a portrait. I don’t know where your wolf should lead you except—”
“Except—?”
“I know this is going to sound odd, but you looked really happy in this vision. Maybe this is simple. How did you feel when this wolf of yours showed up?”
This wolf of hers.Natalie’s thoughts shifted immediately to Grant and to the Cloister Garden. She allowed herself to experience what she’d first felt when she saw him in the dreamglide. “When Grant was walking on the grass barefoot in Mont St. Michel, I felt like the world would never be the same again. I felt, well I might as well say it, euphoric.”
Talya chuckled. “Okay, that wasn’t quite what I meant but I think it’s an important clue here. What I was asking about was when your inner-wolf, your spectral wolf, made a sudden appearance. What did you feel like then?”
Natalie felt her cheeks grow warm. That her thoughts had gone first to Grant, made her feel embarrassed, like she’d revealed too much.
“Huh.”
“What?” Natalie asked.
“Well, it seems to me that Grant means something to you.”
“That’s not possible. I don’t even know him.”
“I don’t think that matters. This is Five Bridges and you’re no longer just human. Maybe the greater issue here is that you haven’t given yourself fully to what it is to be analterfae.”
Natalie felt something in her heart give way like a trap door beneath her that suddenly fell open. What slid through was a whole lot of fear and self-doubt. She was completely overwhelmed. But what did Talya mean that she hadn’t given herself completely to being analterfae?
