Page 94 of Heal You
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Rushing out the door,Jan looked down the street, spotting Phil before he rounded the corner.She didn’t know what had just happened between him and Morgan, but she knew it wasn’t anything good.When Morgan had stepped back inside the bar only moments ago, she looked as though she was going to burst into tears.If Phil had been responsible for that, Jan was about to lose her ragveryquickly.
She strode down the road as fast as her heels would allow, catching up with Phil and his slumped shoulders outside a local bakery.“Hey, Phil!”
Phil glanced over his shoulder but continued walking.
Jan reached out and gripped onto his arm.“Don’twalk away from me!”
He spun around, his face red as he glared at Jan.“Are you for real?Fucking a woman?You’re pathetic.”
Jan studied his face, searching his eyes for the person she’d once known.But all she saw staring back at her was a sad, pathetic man she didn’t recognise anymore.Which was a shame really because Jan didn’t want life to be this way.If Phil was happy with Anais, then good luck to him.But Jan would also find her own happiness, and Phil couldn’t do anything about it.
“Did that make you feel better back there?”She threw a thumb over her shoulder.“Did it feel good coming into the bar trying to assert some kind of dominance over Morgan?”
“I don’t give a fuck about Morgan!Butyou…you’re ridiculous!Anything to get back at me, right?”He scoffed as he pointed his finger in Jan’s face.“You need to be very careful, Jan.Don’t fucking rile me up because you won’t win!”
“Point your finger in my faceone more time, and I’ll rip it from its fucking socket!”Jan stepped closer to Phil, regarding him with a look of complete disgust.“I may no longer be your wife, but don’t youdarescream and shout at me in the street.”
“You’re not even gay!What the hell are you doing?”He threw up his hands.“Is this some tactic to try to make me feel small and incapable?”
Jan laughed and shook her head.“Oh, no.You did that all by yourself.”
“I can’t change what happened with Anais.It’s done and I can’t take it back.But you don’t need to humiliate me at work and give everyone a show while you’ve got your tongue down some fucking dyke’s throat.”
Taken aback by Phil’s awful attitude, Jan stepped away and held up her hands.“I’m done with you.I don’t even know who you are anymore.You’re disgusting.”Jan turned on her heel and slowly made her way back to the bar, taking stock of what had just happened.
“You didn’t even give me a chance to make it right.”Phil’s voice bypassed the noise of the traffic and reached Jan.“You just…left.”
Jan turned slowly and frowned.“Y-you wanted me to stay with you while you fathered a child with another woman?”
“W-we could have made it work, Jan.If you’d givenmethe chance to figure everything out, I would have givenyouanything you wanted.”He shoved his hands in the pockets of his suit pants and sighed.“I never wanted to lose you.”
“I don’t know if this will ever register in your brain, but Idon’tlove you anymore, Phil.Iwon’tfall back in love with you.You’ve been seeing another woman, got her pregnant, and quite frankly…I don’t ever want to look at you again.”Aware that this would be the last time she saw Phil outside of a business relationship, she stepped closer and said, “If you never wanted to lose me, you shouldn’t have fucked her for the best part of a year.”She took a breath.“I’m in love with Morgan and I’m happy.If you care about me at all, you’ll accept that and let me live my life howeverIwant to live it.”
Calmly making her way down the road, Jan pulled her shoulders back and swallowed.Gillian was standing outside the bar, but she wasn’t looking at Jan.No, she was glaring at Phil and probably plotting his demise.
“Are you okay?”Gillian took Jan’s hand as she stopped in front of her.“Love?”
“I’m fine.I’ve said what I need to say.I’m done with him.”
Gillian smiled and guided Jan back inside the bar.“Largeglass of red please, Morgan.”
Jan looked up and met Morgan’s eyes.She still seemed haunted by whatever Phil had said to her.Jan cleared her throat and strode behind the bar.“Hey.”She held onto Morgan’s hand and pulled their bodies together.“I don’t know what he said to you, but I love you and that’s the only thing you need to remember, okay?”
Morgan smiled as she drew Jan into a gentle kiss.“I love you, too.”
Chapter36
Three weeks later…
Fixing her earring into place,Jan took a final glance in the mirror and smiled back at herself.Morgan had insisted she wear this dress tonight, a little black dress that apparently ‘left her breathless’.Jan laughed to herself.She couldn’t believe this was her life now.In love with a woman who would do anything for her, a woman who had no issue complimenting Jan and showing everyone in town what Jan meant to her.It was a stark contrast from what she’d had with Phil, but she wouldn’t change any of it.She wouldn’t dream of wanting anything other than what she had now.Morgan Tate was her everything.
Now she understood exactly what Gillian and Finn had with one another.While Jan had loved seeing her best friend ridiculously happy, she hadn’t always understood the obsession they had with one another.But now, she did.
She makes me feel like nobody else in this world exists.
And when they were together, that was true.Jan had never felt so…wanted.She’d never felt so blissfully happy.She’d never felt so in love with her life.She didn’t know when or if that sense of ultimate accomplishment would end, but deep down, she desperately hoped it wouldn’t.Sheneededthese moments.Sheachedto always be the centre of Morgan’s world.Morgan was certainly all Jan could think about.Morning, noon, and night, the obsession was only becoming stronger.
