Page 89 of Heal You
“O-okay.Then…I don’t really know what else to say to you.”
“Do you have any idea just how perfect you are?”Jan stroked a finger along Morgan’s jawline, searching her eyes as that same finger traced Morgan’s lips.“How much you’ve held me together over the last few months…”
“I’m far from perfect, but I hope you know that I always would have been there for you whether or not we were together.I didn’t do it because I’m into you, babe.I did it because you needed someone, and that’s just who I am.It’s the right thing to do.”
“I had no idea what my life would look like when I sat in your bar on that miserable Monday night.I couldn’t imagine finding love again.Everything I’d always had, orthoughtI had, was gone.In a split second, I didn’t feel as though I knew who I was anymore, and that was terrifying for me.”Jan smiled weakly.“I hide what I want to hide very well, but inside, I was fearing being alone for the rest of my life.”
“Someone like you could never be alone for the rest of your life.”Morgan lifted a hand and cupped Jan’s cheek.“There’s always a second chance when it comes to love.”
“I know that now.I have it right here with you.”
Morgan’s pulse hammered in her ears, Jan’s gentle touch the only thing keeping her grounded.Jan surely didn’t mean what she was saying, did she?“Jan, I?—”
“I’m falling in love with you,” Jan said, her voice soft but confident.Her eyes slowly lifted to meet Morgan’s, holding something raw.Hope, maybe…or fear.“I didn’t think I had it in me to give my heart away again so soon, but with you…it was effortless.It happened without knowing it.But I am.I’m falling in love with you.”
Morgan’s heart stopped for a beat or two, and then it started to race.The room that had once been filled with casual conversation was now as still as anything Morgan had felt before.Jan’s words continued to hang between them.I’m falling in love with you.
A rush of warmth surged through Morgan, sending a tightness directly to her throatandher chest.She blinked repeatedly, wondering if she’d heard those words right, but no…Jan’s gaze held firm on her, and Morgan knew she’d heard it exactly right.She also knew what Jan needed in this moment.Honesty.
A part of Morgan wanted to throw her arms around Jan, to tell her she felt exactly the same way, but the rest of her was hesitant.Morgan had been here before.She’d had the love, and she’d had whatshe thoughtwas everything she needed.Only for it to fall apart and for Morgan to be left understanding that sometimes love could be a complicated road.
She swallowed hard.Jan’s stare hadn’t once wavered, and Morgan knew this moment was as real as it got for her.The uncertainty, the warmth, and the crippling excitement all swelled deep inside of her.She wanted to say something,anything, but all the words seemed too small, too…insignificant.Instead, she leaned in and kissed Jan.The kiss deepened, but there was nothing frantic or hurried about it.It was soft, deliberate…it was Jan.Morgan drew back slowly and smiled.“I’m falling in love with you, too.”
Any tension in Jan quickly slipped away as she lay her head on Morgan’s chest and sighed.The moment had happened, and now calmness resided in Morgan’s head and heart.“Thank you for being the one to show me what happiness really is.”
Morgan lowered a kiss to Jan’s hair and whispered, “Thank you for trusting me.”
* * *
Situatedbehind her computer in her home office, Jan wore a smile that hurt her face.Morgan was still sleeping, but Jan had been up and about preparing for a day of work for the last two hours.Back when she was married to Phil, Jan hated Mondays.Sunday night, too, when she had to prepare everything for the office, but this particular Monday morning was probably the greatest of her life.A little dramatic, perhaps, but the truth.How could she feel anything other than euphoric after her moment with Morgan last night?
The sex had been off the charts once they’d both come down from their emotions—raw and uninhibited—and this morning, Jan was aching in places that hadn’t seen a hint of exercise in a long time.She grinned to herself as she rocked back in her chair and stared through the screen.Maybe she shouldn’t be working today.She sure as hell couldn’t concentrate on anything that was required of her.
Thankfully, it was a slow-ish day.Beth had sent a few blueprints over for her to take a look at, and she had some files to update on the system, but that was the extent of Jan’s ‘work’ today.And I have her to myself all day, too.Jan hadn’t specifically timed her conversation with Morgan last night to coincide with the night off…followed by the next day, but it certainly helped.
As she brought up the first blueprint on her screen, she heard footsteps on the stairs.Jan smiled and peered over her shoulder, her heart pumping that little bit harder when Morgan landed in the hallway and strode confidently into the back living room.Jan was situated in the corner, her desk a mess of papers.“Good morning.”
Morgan yawned as she stretched.“You should have woken me up.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” Morgan said as she leaned down behind Jan and kissed the side of her neck.“If I’ve never told you before, you look incredibly hot wearing your reading glasses.”
Jan rolled her eyes playfully.“God, you’re such a lesbian.”
“Guilty!”Morgan spun Jan’s chair around and got to her knees in front of her.That gaze penetrated Jan in all kinds of ways, but the softness always remained in Morgan’s eyes.The gold flecks did little to quell the love she had for this woman.“Do I need to remind you of just how much of a lesbian I am?”
Jan took her bottom lip between her teeth and smirked.“Maybe you do.”
Morgan hooked her fingers around the waistband of Jan’s—okay, they belonged to Morgan—sweatpants and urged her to lift her hips.When she did and Morgan dragged them down her legs, Jan felt that all too familiar heat rise throughout her.It didn’t take a lot for Morgan to get her going, but since their conversation…since they’d told one another they were falling, it was so intense that Jan felt as though she could burst from the slightest of touches.And she had…on several occasions last night.
Morgan palmed Jan’s thighs before she leaned back in to remove her underwear.The cool air prickled Jan’s legs with goosebumps, but it was Morgan’s soothing, warm breath that she focused on as she sat up on her knees and drew Jan into a fiery kiss.“Working from home just got exciting.”Morgan smiled against Jan’s mouth as she lowered her hand and dipped it between her legs.She brushed Jan’s lips with her knuckles, kissing her way along Jan’s jaw and towards her ear.“Mm, you’re wet.”
“W-what do you expect?”
Morgan’s eyes flickered a shade darker when she urged Jan towards the edge of her chair.In all her life, nobody had ever dropped to their knees and gave Jan what she needed.Not Phil, not…anybody.“Fuck, I could taste you every minute of the day.”Morgan licked her lips and inched closer.“You’re so fucking beautiful.Every last thing about you.”
Jan’s heart swelled.Morgan had no issues with being vocal in their relationship, and in this moment, Jan believed it was top of the list in terms of what she loved about her.Communication was hugely important to Jan, even if she’d struggled with it herself recently.“Morgan, please…”
