Page 78 of Heal You
“Yeah, well, things are different now.You know this.”Morgan approached Amanda and lowered her voice.“If you’ve come here expecting something more, you can leave.I’ve told you where we stand with one another and that’s that.”
“I do miss you.”Amanda stroked the tips of her fingers over Morgan’s hand, where it rested on the counter.Morgan drew it away, not wanting to give this woman an inch.If she did, Amanda would think something was happening here.It absolutelycategoricallywas not.“My marriage is complicated.I didn’t tell you about him because I didn’t think it mattered.”
Morgan scoffed and shook her head.“You’re joking, right?Whywouldn’tit matter?”
“Because we weren’t serious, and you made sure I knew that every time I came here.”
“That’s beside the point, Amanda.Whether we were serious or not doesn’t change the fact that you’re married.”Morgan ran a hand through her hair.“Do you have any idea how affairs affect people?What it does to them and their self-confidence?”
As Morgan said that, her thoughts instantly turned to Jan.The pain and turmoil on her beautiful face the night she sat in the very spot Amanda had taken on arrival.She couldn’teverput herself in that position with a married woman ever again.In future, if therewasanyone else, Morgan would insist on knowing the truth before she dared to continue.
“Is that what this is about?You’ve been cheated on in the past, and now you’re hurt that I didn’t tell you about my husband?”
“No.It’s nothing to do with that.I just don’t like knowing you put me in that position.I mean, what if he’d found out and turned up here one night?If he’d had something to say to me in front of all my customers?I’d look like a right twat then, wouldn’t I?”
“He never would have known.He barely knows I’m in the same house as him at times.”
Was Amanda in the same situation that Jan had never realised she was in?Was she also living through a one-sided marriage?God, Morgan hoped not.She couldn’t deal with two divorcing women.No way.“If you’re not happy with him, you should tell him that.”
“It’s not that simple.It never is.”Amanda curled her finger and beckoned Morgan closer.As Morgan dipped her head, expecting maybe an apology, Amanda brought a hand to her cheek.“Youwere who I wanted to be with.I wish you could have given me another chance.”
Morgan peeled Amanda’s fingers from her cheek and stepped back.“You have a husband.I could never give you another chance.”A whoosh of cold air hit Morgan as the bar door opened.Thank God she had a customer to see to.The longer she stood here talking to Amanda, the more she felt inclined to ask her to drink elsewhere.“And now I have to get back to work.”
She turned away from Amanda and puffed out her cheeks.Morgan just didn’t need this right now.She was dealing with her own shit.
With a forced bright smile, she moved further along the bar and looked up.And then everything within her froze, her pulse thundering in her ears as she gazed across the room.
Jan…was standing there.
* * *
Jan gazed back at Morgan,almost smiling when Morgan’s mouth hung open and she blinked repeatedly.Was that a good sign?Was Morgan happy to see Jan?God, she really hoped that’s what this reaction was.If Jan had got this wrong and Morgan didn’t want to see her ever again, then she would walk out of here feeling embarrassed.Only she knew Morgan, and Morgan would never make her feel that way.She would accommodate Jan, then let her down gently in private.Even after Jan had done the one thing she’d never wanted to do…leave Morgan without answers.
“H-hi.”Morgan cleared her throat.“I, um… I didn’t think I’d see you in here again.”
Jan hesitated but eventually moved closer.She felt eyes on her from the other end of the bar, and as she looked in that direction, everything within her recoiled.Amanda was here.The very woman Morgan had told Jan there was no chance of reconnecting with.The only reason Jan even knew it was Amanda was because she had tried to re-add Morgan on social media once Morgan had removed her from her profile.
You spent too long figuring your life out…and now it’s too late.
She held her composure as she focused her attention back on Morgan.Yes, she was disappointed, but she wouldn’t show it.Morgan was free to do whatever she pleased.“You…have company.”
Morgan held up her hands.“She’s a customer.Nothing more.”
Jan could only take Morgan at her word.She hadn’t lied to her before; there was no reason to think otherwise this time around.“Could I have a glass of red, please?”Jan decidednotto take a seat at the bar.She had no intention of sitting within striking distance of Amanda.No way.She took some cash from her purse and handed it to Morgan when her glass of wine arrived in front of her.
“It’s on the house.”Morgan pushed the note back towards Jan and smiled.“How are you?”
“I’m…doing much better.”Jan threw a thumb over her shoulder as she scrunched the note in her hand, aware that tonight wasn’t the night to talk things through.To apologise to Morgan.Part of Jan had hoped Morgan wouldn’t be working when she’d arrived—she was almost certain it was usually her day off—but it didn’t really matter.It was just nice to be out of the house and somewhere familiar again.“I’ll just take a seat.It’s good to see you.”
Jan crossed the room and smiled at Amanda when their eyes met.She had no desire to fight with another woman for Morgan’s attention.She had enough going on.Jan took her phone from her clutch bag and slid into the booth she usually shared with Gillian and Finn.Right now, she wished they were here with her.
How much does Morgan hate you at the moment?I could really do with some company at the bar.
She set her phone down on the leather beside her and sighed.Perhaps coming here had been a mistake.Even if Jan had felt good about it as she left the house some thirty minutes ago, she was starting to have second thoughts.
Her phone pinged.
Do you want us to meet you there?I’m not sure of the reception we’ll receive, but I’ll be there for you if you need support.
