Page 77 of Heal You
Gillian’s brows rose.“God, I’m finding out a lot of things about my best friend lately.Shacking up with the local bartender, going toSpainwith her, being with women in the past.I feel like I don’t know you anymore.”
Jan winced as she turned around and eyed Gillian from the other side of the room.“Sorry I didn’t tell you about Spain.Everything was happening really fast, and I didn’t want what ultimately happened to happen sooner than it did.I just wanted to enjoy being with her while nobody knew.Less pressure and all that.”
“How was it over there with her?”
Jan smiled.“I can’t describe it.”
“That good?”Gillian lifted a brow.
“Far better than good.”Jan turned to the mirror on the wall, disappointed by the state she was in.If she was going to see Morgan again, she really had to book an appointment at the salon.“When I’m with her, nothing else matters, Gill.Phil doesn’t exist in my head, and I just feel calm.Almost…loved.”
“Then you know what you have to do.Youhaveto go and see her, Jan.”
“I know, and I will.I just need to get my head straight, and then I’ll go to the bar.I need a few days, a week at the most.Maybe if I go back to work and get into my routine again, everything will be clearer.Right now, I don’t think I’d know what to say to her.”
Gillian nodded and crossed her legs.“That sounds like a sensible idea.”
Not wanting to dive too deep into her own mind, Jan pulled her shoulders back and searched Gillian’s eyes.Whenever they had a dilemma between them, Gillian’s face gave her away.But in this moment, she was a picture of calm…a calm that Jan was going to hold onto.“I guess I should start making myself look and feel a little more presentable then.”
“Shush.You’re gorgeous even when you’re having a meltdown.”
Jan flopped down beside Gillian and laid her head against Gillian’s shoulder.She allowed herself a moment to breathe, to…stop panicking about everything, and then she laughed.“Who would have thought us two would be striking up mind-blowing relationships with women in our forties!”
Gillian snorted.“If Morgan isanythinglike Finn, I know exactly what you’re in for.”She pressed a kiss to Jan’s hair and drew back.“I hope to God you’re going to wash that mane before you even think about going to the bar!”
“I will.Don’t worry.”Jan closed her eyes and enjoyed the silence.While she hadn’t wanted to come face-to-face with Gillian today, she was glad she had.“Five minutes of peace and quiet before you have me run ragged again.”
Gillian sighed.“Five minutes.”
Chapter30
Another day.
Another mindless shift spent behind the bar.
Morgan usually enjoyed a night off a week, but with no reason to spend any time at her place, she hadn’t bothered to schedule any days off.She had worked every day and night since Jan had asked for space, and two weeks on, nothing had changed.Morgan had craved to reach out, to ask Jan how she was doing, but she wasn’t sure what would come out of her mouth if they did speak.Morgan would probably say a few things Jan didn’t need to hear—about how much Morgan missed her—and it would only make everything worse.
Right now, it was bad enough.
She lifted a hand and waved as Eric came limping through the door.He’d spent most of this week reeling off story after story to Morgan, but she’d appreciated it.It stopped her from thinking about Jan, and it stopped her from walking the streets night after night.She just felt…lost.
You’re not lost.You’re stupid.
Morgan laughed and shook her head.She rarely found herself speechless when it came to women, but Jan wasn’t just any woman.For the time Morgan had spent with her, Jan was her world.Everything she did each day was done with Jan on her mind.When she woke up alone, Morgan didn’tfeelalone.Because she knew at some point, she would see Jan again.To have that so intensely and then lose it so suddenly, Morgan found it hard to wrap her head around.
“Morgan?”
Morgan sighed and turned towards the voice at the end of the bar.“Yes?”
“The bar is quiet.Come and chat with me.”
Morgan didn’t know why Amanda was there.Morgan sure as hell hadn’t invited her.They hadn’t spoken since Morgan had cut her loose over two months ago, so when Amanda had come strolling through the door over an hour ago, Morgan hadn’t known what to do.She could have asked her to leave, but it was a customer, and it wasn’t ideal to turn that down.Thankfully, Amanda had been respectful and mostly quiet since she’d arrived.“I’m good here.I have customers.”
Amanda lifted a brow.“Are they invisible?Because I don’t see anyone who needs serving.”
Morgan groaned inwardly.She was beginning to wish shehadtaken the night off.At least then, she could have lied and told Amanda she wasn’t home.“I have a job to do.I can’t stand around talking to you all night.”
“You used to.”
