Page 73 of Heal You
“Morgan, wait.”Finn rushed to the side of the bar and stopped Morgan from opening the door that led to her flat.“I don’t want us to be like this.I can’t change what’s happened, but Idon’twant this.”
“Newsflash: my life isn’t on your fucking terms, Finn.”Morgan shoved past her and rushed up the stairs.For the first time in so many years, Morgan was going to break down.She felt the tears stinging her eyes and she felt the swell of emotion rise up in her throat.She forced her key into the door at the top of the stairs as tears slid down her cheeks.Only as she tried to close the door once she was inside, Finn’s foot was stopping it.“Seriously, Finn.You need to back off.”
“Let me in.I want to talk to you.”
Morgan didn’t want to talk to anyone right now.Unless Jan turned up here, she was all out of conversation.“I just want to be on my own.”
Finn shook her head and stepped inside Morgan’s flat.“I know I shouldn’t have got involved or even said what I was thinking, but the shock of finding out you’ve been sleeping with Janstillhasn’t worn off.”Finn dropped down onto Morgan’s couch and dragged a hand through her hair.“We can’t believe she’s getting divorced, let alone sleeping with you.”
“God, I wish you’d stop saying that.”Morgan clenched her hands into fists at her side.Why did people keep making their blossoming relationship seem less than it actually was?“We’re not just fucking one another, Finn.She’s just spent a week in Spain with me.We’re together most nights.Whatever ideas you have in your head about us, I can promise you that they’re all wrong.Every last one of them.”
“She went to Spain with you?I thought you were visiting friends down south?”
“I told you that because I wanted Jan to feel comfortable.I didn’t want her to feel pressured to come out to you and Gillian.When I asked her, I thought she’d say no.Only she didn’t.She came with me, and we had the most amazing week together.”Morgan scoffed.“Taking her away was something her ex-husband should have been doing all these years.”She reached for a bottle of whiskey on the kitchen counter, took two glasses from the cupboard, and joined Finn on the couch.“I know you think I’m not good enough for her, and I know Gillian hates the fact that I live and breathe now, but she made me happy, Finn.”
“She is lovely.”Finn smiled.“I think she’s the reason me and Gillian got back together.”
“Iknowthat this won’t last.Iknowshe’s going to break my heart when she realises I’m just me and she could do a million times better.But you know what?I would have been happy with the pain and the hurt down the line if it meant I’d had the chance to be with her.Even briefly.”Morgan had spent years pushing potential love interests away.Women who deserved her undivided attention, not an hour here and there when Morgan could take a break or had a random day off.“I was finally in a place where I enjoyed being with someone again.She made me feel as though something more was possible.”
“You’ve only just left Amanda, and she’s only just left Phil.”Finn offered a single nod in thanks when Morgan handed her a glass of whiskey.“How can either of you be in a position to date?I mean, youhatedating.”
“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that itwasn’tserious with Amanda.We werenevertogether.She used to show up here when she wanted a fuck, and that was the extent of it.EvenIfelt dirty in the end because I realised it was why she was coming here.”Morgan wouldn’t make that mistake ever again with another woman.“But Jan was different.She was…everything I’d dreamed of.”Morgan smiled when Jan’s face flitted into her mind.“I’ve been into her since the first time you guys brought her here.But I knew she was married and I’d never?—”
“Is that why you kissed her?Because you knew she’d left him?”
“She kissed me.Everything that happened was on Jan’s say-so.Not that I didn’t agree, butshekissedme.She instigated it all.I was too much of a coward to make the first move.Mostly because it’s Jan but also because I knew what she was going through.”
“You’re really into her, aren’t you?”
Morgan nodded as she stared down at her glass.Her eyes burned, and as she sniffled, Finn pressed a hand to her shoulder.“Like I’ve never been into anyone before, yeah.”
“Shit.”Finn sunk back into the couch.“She came over before.She didn’t stay long, but I told her you weren’t really the commitment type.Because…for as long as I’ve known you, you haven’t been.”Finn sighed.“I’m sorry, Morgan.I’ll make it right.I promise you.”
“Just…leave it alone.It’s probably for the best, anyway.”Morgan knew that was a lie, all she wanted was to be with Jan tonight, but if they’d filled her head with bullshit, Morgan would let Jan figure it all out in a way that suited her best.“I just wish you could have given me the benefit of the doubt.”
“I wasn’t thinking.I was so worried about Jan that no matter what she said to me, I dismissed it.Instead of just supporting what she wanted, what she was saying, I told her to think about what she was doing.”
“She was so happy Phil had decided to give her the house.That look on her face as I knocked on the door and she was in her own home… God, I wish I could have taken a picture.”Morgan sipped her whiskey.“It was like she’d finally relaxed, knowing she didn’t have to worry about finding somewhere to live.Even though I’d told her she never should have had to.He should have done the right thing from the start and left.”
“Wait!She’s back at the house?”Finn asked as she sat forward and scooted closer to Morgan.“Their house?”
“Herhouse.Phil has a new place.”
“She didn’t tell us she was back at home.”As Morgan turned to Finn, she noted the guilt in her eyes immediately.“Though, I don’t suppose she had the chance to.”
“Do me a favour?”Morgan sniffled as she found the courage to say the words to Finn.“Look after her.Make sure she’s okay.Just…be there for her.”Morgan closed her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks.“I don’t blame her for cutting me loose—I’m not exactly reliable given the job I have.But Iwastrying, Finn.I’d brought staff in tonight so I could surprise her at home.”
“You never get staff to cover your shift.”
“Says a lot about what I thought of Jan then, doesn’t it?”Morgan forced down the emotion in her throat, but the tears wouldn’t stop.“She was so worth it for me.We connected, and I couldn’t help how I felt about her.Then when we spent the night together, I expected her to be gone by the morning.I thought she would have freaked out and left before I woke up.But…she didn’t.She stayed.She actually didn’t leave this place until I started my shift that evening.”Morgan smiled.“She’s a great cuddler.”
“You cuddled?”Finn’s brows rose, but Morgan understood.All of this was so far from who Morgan portrayed herself to be that Finn was bound to be surprised.“Fucking hell.She’s turned you into a new woman.”
“Nah, she just reminded me of who I am deep down.”Morgan knocked back her whiskey and poured another.She got to her feet and crossed the room to her bedroom door.“Close the door on your way out.”
“Morgan?”
Morgan sighed as she met Finn’s gaze.“Yeah?”
