Page 71 of Heal You
“Would that be anactualconversation, or are you going to talkatme?”Jan didn’t enjoy falling out with anyone, but the last person she wanted to lose was Gillian Masters.They’d been through practically an entire lifetime together already.
“Fucking hell.What’s got into you, Jan?”
“I don’t appreciate people offering their opinion on something that has nothing to do with them.”Gillian may have thought Jan was overreacting, but she was actually holding back right now.The look in Morgan’s eyes when she’d gone to the bar yesterday only to find out Finn had been over to stick the boot in had been heartbreaking.As though Morgan had done something wrong, and she felt terribly guilty.Jan never wanted her to feel that way, and she wouldn’t allow anyone else to do so, either.“Is Finn home?It’s her I’ve come to see.”
“Yes, she’s in the living room.”Gillian wrapped her arms around herself and sighed.“This is all really unnecessary.”
Jan chose not to respond to Gillian.She was here to deal with Finn and Finn alone.She dropped her handbag at the bottom of the stairs and strode into the living room.Finn was lounging, watching TV, refusing to meet Jan’s eyes.“Can you turn off whatever you’re watching for a moment?”
“When you learn to speak to my wife with respect, yes.”Finn sat up and muted the volume, her hands clasped under her chin as she stared down at the floor.“I don’t appreciate you coming here speaking to Gillian like that.”
“Hurts, doesn’t it?”Jan lifted a brow.“When someone comes at you or the woman you care about.”
“I’m sorry?”
“You.Going to the bar and telling Morgan that she should end things with me.”Calmly, Jan took a seat on the couch and waited for Finn to make eye contact with her.When she did, Jan continued.“I don’t appreciate it, Finn.Not at all.”
“Jan, you know we love and support you.I’m just finding it hard to understand how you and Morgan ended up in a relationship with one another.”
“Morgan has been there for me since I found out about the affair.She’s sat, and she’s listened.She offered me her bedroom for the night when I’d spent the evening sitting in her bar with nothing I owned.I’d been so disgusted by Phil that I left the house within minutes of getting home from the office.I had my phone and my purse.”She smiled when she reminded herself of Morgan and everything she had done for Jan so far.
Finn snorted.“And what?You thought you’d sleep with her to say thanks?”
“Finn!”Gillian admonished from the other side of the room.
“I’m sorry.”Finn ran a hand through her hair.“But from what Morgan told me, you’ve been sleeping with one another since you found out about Phil.
“When I started sleeping with Morgan has nothing to do with you.”Jan’s brows drew together.“And I’m failing to understand why youthinkit does.”
“You’re my friend.I care about you.I’m worried that this is going to fall apart, and then you get hurt.You don’t need that right now.Not when you’re already dealing with a divorcenoneof us saw coming.”
“And you think Ididsee it coming?”Jan scoffed as she glared back at Finn.In this moment, she wasn’t sure this was the Finn she had become so fond of.“I was as shocked as you two, believe me.”
“Jan—”
Jan softened a little, but not enough to be less angry with Finn.“Morgan means a lot to me.”
“Morgan is…she’s complicated.I’m sure she would agree with me when I say that.She doesn’t really do relationships, and that bar is her life.”Finn shook her head.“Look, she was sleeping with someone else just before you left Phil.Amanda.Morgan kind of just takes life as it comes, you know?No commitment kind of thing.”
Jan understood that Finn knew a different Morgan from the one she knew herself, but that wasn’t the impression she got from Morgan at all.She’d been honest about her situation with Amanda, and that was all Jan needed.Honesty.“And the moment she found out that Amanda had a husband, she cut her off.At least she’s capable of doing that.Unlike my fucking husband, who can’t keep his dick in his pants!”
Finn shifted from the couch to her knees in front of Jan.She took Jan’s hands and gazed back at her with a pleading look.“Whatever you want, we’ll support, but please think about this.Decide if Morgan isreallywho you want to be with.”
“We’re officially dating now.”
Finn sat back on her knees and lowered her head.“I don’t know what to say.”
“Then please, say nothing.”Jan drew her hands away from Finn’s.“If you and Gill can’t give me the time I need to work out who I am or where I’m headed, then all I can ask is that you keep your opinions to yourself and stay out of my personal life.”
“Of course we can give you time.”Gillian joined Jan on the couch and placed a hand on her shoulder.“We’re just worried about you, that’s all.”
“But you’re not.Not really.You’re worried about who I’m sleeping with, and Icannotfor the life of me understand why, Gill.”Jan knew this was a pointless conversation.It wasn’t going anywhere, and it certainly wasn’t getting any better.“While you two see the woman I’m sleeping with, I see so much more.She just…she’s the only person I feel I can go to when I need to talk.She listens and doesn’t judge me.”Jan sighed.“I know leaving Phil is a shock, and I know it hasn’t been long since all of this happened, but why should I sit around feeling sorry for myself when I can be happy?Can’t that be enough for you?”
“Jan,” Finn said as she placed a hand on her knee.“Are you seriously expecting to just falloutof love with Phil andinlove with Morgan?”
“I fell out of love with Phil the moment he told me the affair was true.”Jan swallowed, reminded of that day and all the pain it had brought with it.Only that pain had been short-lived, and that was because of Morgan.“He’s having a child with another woman.He has a place of his own now.”Jan turned to Gillian.“I know you want me to fall apart like you did, and I know you want me to need you, but I’m okay.I’m alive, I’m healthy, and I’m okay, Gill.”
“Ineverwant you to go through what I did, Jan.That’snotwhat this is.”
