Page 7 of Heal You
“I…don’t know,” Morgan said, frowning as she stared into her glass of scotch.“I guess my latest situation could mean that.Yes.”
“Your latest situation?”
Morgan wasn’t sure it was the right time to discuss this with Jan, it could go one of two ways, but she wanted Jan to know that she kind of understood how she was feeling.In a fucked up way, at least.“I was seeing a woman.Well, seeing her is a bit of a stretch.We’ve been sleeping with one another on and off for about six months now.I found out yesterday that she actually has a husband, and I never knew anything about it.”
“I’m sorry.”Jan turned her hand over and entwined her fingers with Morgan’s.“Feels terrible being the other woman, doesn’t it?Even though he wasmyhusband for twenty-odd years,Ifeel like the other woman.”
“Right now, I just feel sad about it all.I’d never knowingly get involved with a married woman.Ever.I mean, it’s always nice to admire women…I’ve admired you on way more than one occasion, but I’m not the kind of person who would cheat.I feel…dirty, you know?”
Jan searched Morgan’s face, a slight crease between her brows.“You’ve admiredme?”
“Yep.”Morgan lifted a shoulder.She just hoped Jan didn’t think she had other reasons for inviting her up to the flat.Yes, Morgan found it hard to look anywhere else the moment Jan was in her bar, but that wasn’t what this was.Shedidwant to be a friend in this moment.“You’re gorgeous.”
Jan snorted.“Tell that to my husband.”
“If he’s been seeing someone else, then he’s a fool.A complete fucking idiot.”
“I should have known something was going on,” Jan said before sipping her whiskey.“Gillian and Finn don’t know, but Phil and I have been seeing a marriage counsellor for almost seven months.I just…felt as though I was losing him, and I couldn’t put my finger on why.”
“Oh.”Morgan’s brows shot up.So, Jan had been suspicious of something.She just didn’t know what.“A marriage counsellor.”
“I know.It’s ridiculous, the money we wasted on it.But it was the only thing I could think of in that moment.That moment when I knew everything had become routine and a little bit lifeless.Then I saw how happy Gillian was with Finn, and I wanted my own marriage to be like that.”
Morgan completely understood.Gillian and Finn were so in love that Morgan rolled her eyes most of the time.But really, she was just jealous she didn’t have a relationship like that.She’d love to be in that position, of course she would, but there never seemed to be enough hours in the dayorthe right woman walking through the door.Amanda had been the perfect remedy, really.“I’m sorry you’ve been going through this alone.”
Jan smiled as she mindlessly and most likely subconsciously stroked her thumb across Morgan’s knuckles.“I’ve always been the problem solver.I’ve always been the one people come to when they need advice.Now that I’m in this position, I don’t quite know what to do with myself.”
“That’s understandable.When I found out about Amanda yesterday, I hid away for a few hours.Even though it wasn’t anything serious between us, I was still hurt by it.And like you, I didn’t know who to turn to.”
“Then I’m sorry you’ve also been dealing with things alone.”
Morgan smiled and squeezed Jan’s hand.“Look, I’ve always been a loner.I’m used to it.But when it comes to you…Iamhere if you need to vent.”
“That’s very sweet of you, Morgan.Thank you.”
“Top up?”Morgan eyed Jan’s glass, instantly switching into bar owner mode.She didn’t like to see people with empty glasses.
“Why not.I have no home to go back to.”Jan handed her glass over, choosing not to down what remained in it.
Morgan busied herself in the kitchen, her hand tingling where Jan had been holding onto it so tightly.She didn’t think Jan was aware of what she was doing, but Morgan wouldn’t complain.That soft skin pressing against her own…God, Morganitchedjust to have a conversation with this woman most of the time.
As she turned back to the couch, Jan was looking down at her phone.“He’s fucking unbelievable.”
“Your husband?”Morgan asked, placing both glasses down.“Has he contacted you?”
“Yes.”Jan handed her phone over to Morgan.There was a message waiting on the screen.
Look, Jan.You may not want to see me or speak to me, but you cannot possibly blame me for all of this.We were stale, love.We had no fun in our lives.I thought that by giving in to the attention from Anais it would spice things up for us.I did it for us.Please come home so I can make it up to you.I still love you.
Wow.What a piece of shit.Right now, Morgan hoped that Jan wouldn’t fall for her husband’s bullshit.How could he possibly shift the blame onto her?He’d been the one who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.“That’s…yeah, I don’t really know what to say to that.”
“MaybeIshould find someone to fuck tonight and throw it right back at him.See how he likes it!”
While Morgan would happily insist Jan assume the position, spread out naked on her bed, now wasn’t ideal.She lay a hand on Jan’s knee this time, hoping she felt the support in her touch.“Hey, don’t even rise to him.It’s probably what he wants, so he can use it against you.”
“How can he say that to me?And if that’s what hetrulybelieves, then it clearly didn’t work out for him.”Jan scoffed.“He did it to spice things up?I’m not sure he knows the meaning of the word!”
“Why don’t you stay here tonight?It’s one less thing for you to worry about, and I don’t really like the idea of you leaving this bar on your own and not knowing what the plan or next step is.”
