Page 65 of Heal You
“Why doyouhave to deal with it?And why doyouhave to understand it?I’m happy with Jan, and she’s happy with me.Can’t you and Gillian just be happyforus?”
Finn slid from her stool and made her way towards the exit.As she turned back and eyed Morgan, Finn shook her head.“Someone is going to get hurt here.I fear it’s going to be you.”
Maybe Morgan would get hurt, but for the first time in so many years, she felt as though she was in a place where she could be happy.And sure, maybe it would fall apart, and Jan would realise that Morgan wasn’t good enough for her, but Morgan had to try.She needed to enjoy what she currently had because if it did end, she knew she’d never find anyone quite like Jan ever again.
“Hey, Finn?”
Finn turned as she pulled the bar door open.
“You and your wife should probably find somewhere else to drink from now on.”Morgan hated to do this to someone she considered a friend, but she wouldn’t entertainanyonein her bar who thought it was okay to throw their opinions on her life around.“And if Gillian has a problem with that, she knows where to find me.”
Chapter25
With a huge smileon her face, Morgan’s heart beat a little harder when Jan walked through the bar door.After Finn’s arrival here yesterday, she didn’t think she would see Jan any time soon.But it was the text Jan had sent Morgan last night explaining that she wouldn’t be heading over to the bar that really had Morgan worried.She one hundred percent expected Jan to cut all ties with her.
Morgan’s smile suddenly faded when she realised that could still happen.Jan looked worn out.She didn’t look like the same woman she’d spent several weeks with now.She seemed bothered by something.Morgan just hoped they could remain amicable if Jan was here to let her down gently.It tracked in terms of who Jan was as a person.Morgan didn’t believe she had it in her to text and say she wouldn’t be around anymore.
“Hi.”Morgan swallowed when Jan pulled herself up onto a stool.Thankfully, the bar was quiet right now.“Can I get you anything to drink?”
“No, thank you.”Jan tried to stifle a yawn but failed.“I didn’t sleep at all last night, so I’ve already had three coffees back at the hotel.”
“I thought their coffee was terrible?”
“It is.But it was better than nothing at all.”Jan set her bag down on the bar counter and finally looked up at Morgan.“I’m sorry I couldn’t make it over last night.Once I’d been to Gillian’s, I just needed some time alone.”
Morgan nodded and waited with bated breath.
“It didn’t quite go as planned.”Jan’s voice trembled as she put that out into the world.“Her reaction was…unexpected.It knocked me off kilter.”
“What was her reaction?”
Jan sighed and propped her head in her hand.“I don’t really know how to describe it.She sort of implied that I’d wasted no time in moving on.It’s just…the way she said it that I didn’t like.As though maybe she was judging me and slut shaming me.”
“I’m sorry,” Morgan said as she rounded the bar and placed a supportive hand on Jan’s shoulder.She wanted to do so much more than that, but she wasn’t sure she was entitled to do so.“I, uh…I know what happens now.”
“Pardon?”
“I know what happens now,” Morgan repeated.“And you really don’t have to do this, Jan.I got involved with you knowing you were dealing with a lot.I probably shouldn’t have encouraged you.”Morgan ran a hand down her face, saddened that this was ending.Because for her, it hadn’t been some meaningless fuck.It hadn’t been passing the time with Jan to keep her company.It had been so much more.“But I need you to know that I don’t regret any of it.What we’ve had over the last couple of months, I can’t explain it.You’ve reminded me that I can be happy again.That means a lot to me.You…mean a lot to me.”
“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
“You’ve come here to tell me you can’t do this anymore, right?”
Jan lifted a hand and cupped Morgan’s cheek.Her blue eyes were brighter than they had been when she arrived.“I haven’t come here to do that to you.”
Morgan frowned.“You haven’t?”
“No.Never.”
“It’s just that Finn?—”
Jan suddenly lowered her hand.“Finn, what?”
“She came here yesterday afternoon.I’m guessing it was after you’d been to speak to Gillian.”Morgan reached behind her for the nearby stool and dragged it closer.Once she was sitting comfortably, her hand in Jan’s, she continued, “She said I should end things with you.There was a brief mention of taking advantage of you, too.”
Jan cast her gaze on their hands and shook her head.“God, I’m sorry she said those things to you.”
“I don’t care what she thinks of me, I don’t care what anyone thinks of me, but are you sure that I’m the one you want topossiblydo this with?I mean, I know we’ve spoken about it on a couple of occasions now, but I don’t really know what’s happening here.I’m scared to ask because of what you’re going through and how sudden this is.”
