Page 63 of Heal You
“Yes, really.”
“Well, this is going to be an interesting conversation with Finn.”
Jan didn’t really care how the conversation with Finn went.Whatever Finn had to say, that was her business alone.“I don’t know why it matters to either of you.”
“Look, Jan.YouknowI love you, but you spent twenty-seven years with Phil, and what?You’re just going to shack up with some bartender justweeksafter you left Phil?”
“He’sthe one who has been fucking another woman for a year.He’sthe one who destroyed those years we were together.Why amIthe one being judged here for my decisions?”Jan couldn’t do this.She refused to stand here and be chastised for wanting a life again.“And for the record, Morgan is so much more than just a bartender.I’d appreciate it if you gave her a chance.You don’t know the first thing about her.”
“Because until today, shewasjust a bartender to me, Jan.She was the woman who used to bring us drinks on a night out.But now…now she’s what?Your girlfriend?”Gillian’s brows drew together.“I mean, is it serious?”
“It’s…going somewhere, yes.”That was all Jan was prepared to offer right now.Just because Gillian was her best friend, it didn’t make her automatically entitled to Jan’s feelings.
Gillian nodded slowly.“Right.Does Phil know yet?”
“He knows I’m completely done with him.As for him knowing about Morgan, it’s none of his business.”Jan turned and walked towards the door that led to the hallway.She shoved her handbag up on her shoulder and turned back to Gillian.“I’m sure you and Finn will have a lot to talk about when it comes to this development, but please respect what I have going on with Morgan and leave her out of this.Whatever you think of her or me, she doesn’t need to hear it.She’s done nothing wrong.And neither have I.”
“There was never any hope for me and Dave, but until the day you found out about the affair, you were madly in love with Phil.”Gillian ran her hands down her thighs and sighed.“Has something been going on that I don’t know about?Was everything okay at home before you found out he’d been sleeping with someone else?”
Jan chewed her lip.She didn’t want to do this right now, but she would give Gillian more information when she was ready to.“He had an affair, and that’s that.”
“Then all I can ask is that you give yourself some time.”Gillian regarded Jan with a faint smile.“Figure out what comes next, maybe without Morgan being around.”
Jan’s bottom lip quivered as she blinked back tears.“Phil is about to become a father, Gill.I’mnotputting my life on hold for him or anyone else.You included.”
The shock on Gillian’s face was precisely what Jan had expected.“He…what?”She shot up from her seat and crossed the room.As she took Jan’s hand and held it tight, Gillian shook her head.“No.This can’t be happening.”Gillian pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled a long, slow breath.“That piece of shit has got his new woman pregnant?”
“Yes.”Jan jerked her hand from Gillian’s.“I’m going to head off.You’re up to date on my life, and whatever you think of me, I can’t change it.”Jan searched Gillian’s eyes, unable to read what her best friend was thinking.“I know this is a lot, and I know I landed it on you suddenly, but I came here hoping for your support, Gill.Not your judgement.”
“Jan—”
“I’ll see you when I see you.Say hi to Finn for me.”
Jan turned and left Gillian’s home as quickly as she could.Just last year, Jan had been consoling Gillian night after night when Finn left her.For so many weeks, she had tried to navigate their issues with her best friend.Perhaps it was foolish for Jan to expect the same from Gillian, but she wouldn’t make that mistake again.Right now, Jan felt as though she was in this alone, but she would fight every damn day for a happiness that suited her.If that could possibly involve Morgan, then Jan was going to grab it with both hands and never let it go.
* * *
What a beautiful day…
Morgan sat on a stool at the end of the bar, not too concerned that none of her customers were in yet.The weather was glorious, and unfortunately, Morgan didn’t have the space outside the bar to add outdoor furniture.But it was set to rain in a few hours, and she knew they would come rushing back indoors then.
Right now, the peace and quiet was exactly what she needed.Just a few days ago, Morgan had returned from the most amazing week with Jan, and while her…lover had a lot to contend with in the near future, Morgan wasn’t worried.It was hard to find anything to worry about after their conversation on the flight home.Jan wasnotgoing back on her divorce.Shedidwant to keep seeing Morgan.They’d hit it off, and Morgan guessed the rest would be history.They’d made a connection—one so deep that Morgan was in a different headspace post-Spain—and to know that Jan felt the same way was blowing her mind.All of this…it was so much more than just fucking.
The bar door swung open, and Finn came bursting through it suddenly.“You and I need to talk, so you’d better make yourself available right now.”
Morgan frowned as she turned her watch towards herself.“It’s a bit early for you, isn’t it?Don’t you have a lecture you should be at?”
“Are you serious?”Finn scoffed.“You’reactuallyseeing Jan?”
Ah.They knew.
Morgan had a feeling it was only a matter of time before they had to explain themselves, but that was the beauty of Jan.She made Morgan forget everything that was going on around her.To Morgan, Jan didn’t feel like some terrible secret.No, she just felt like a woman Morgan wanted to keep to herself for as long as possible.“First of all, lose the fucking attitude, Finn.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m really fucking confused.”Finn threw up her hands and laughed.“Wearetalking about the same Jan, right?Jan Bartlett…Gillian’s best friend?Y-you…and Jan Bartlett?”
Morgan wasn’t sure how Finn had meant that to come across, but it hurt.Deeply.Neither Finn nor Gillian had any idea what Morgan and Jan had shared to date.Perhaps if they had, Finn wouldn’t find this so funny.“And there I was, thinking you were my friend.”Morgan slid from her stool and made her way back behind the bar.“If you have nothing nice to say about all of this, you can fuck off and find somewhere else to drink with your wife.”
“No, I need you to lay this all out for me.Like…honestly, how did that even happen?”
