Page 47 of Heal You
Morgan knew that Jan wouldn’t hold it against her when it came to how much she worked, but the inability to make plans and take trips away just wasn’t something she wanted to bypass any longer.Morgan was serious about a relationship here, and that meant she wanted to be around for Jan more often.
“I appreciate what you’re saying, but I’m sure we can work around schedules and stuff.I’m only available as much as I am right now because I walked away from the business.”
Morgan smiled.“I know.But I’d still like to see you more often.Evenings and weekends whenever you’re available and you can make some time for me.You’re not going to be unemployed forever, I don’t imagine.”
“I…think I’m going to go back to my job.”As Morgan side-eyed Jan, Jan was chewing her lip.“Phil and I have worked hard to make it what it is.It seems a shame to let it all go and find something else that I likely won’t be happy with.”
“I think that if you can come to some kind of agreement with him, then there’s no reason why it can’t work as well as it has so far.It’s important that you do something you love, and if that’s staying on at the business, then you do that, babe.”Morgan leaned in and kissed Jan’s cheek.“But I’m still going to ask Ben how he feels about the promotion.”
“It would be nice to spend more time together,” Jan said, resting her head on Morgan’s shoulder.They’d finished dinner some thirty minutes ago now, so sitting back and watching the world go by on the beachfront with a cocktail was the perfect end to this day.“When I’m with you, I feel as though I’m where I’m meant to be.”
Morgan’s pulse quickened at that.While she knew Jan enjoyed spending time with her, she hadn’t expected her to feelthatparticular way.“You really mean that?”
“I do mean it.”
If the shoe had been on the other foot and Morgan had said that to someone other than Jan, they likely would have run a mile in the opposite direction.But Morgan wasn’t afraid of love or commitment.She wasn’t afraid to be herself with this woman.Right now, Morgan was just incredibly happy to have Jan sitting beside her.“That means a lot to me.”
“It’s important that I’m honest about how I feel.With myself more than anything.”Jan lifted her head and faced Morgan.“I don’t know what I’ll be dealing with when we go home, so I have to remind myself of these moments when the shit inevitably hits the fan.”
Morgan reached out a hand and stroked the back of it against Jan’s cheek.“I know things aren’t going to be easy for you if you’re planning to reveal our relationship, but youdohave my support, okay?”
“I appreciate that.”
Morgan wasn’t sure this was a good idea, but she would say it anyway.“And if we get back to England and you decide that having me in your life is going to cause too much confusion for people or make you lose friends and family, then I understand if you won’t want to see me anymore.”Morgan hoped they could remain friends should that happen, but she couldn’t offer that right now.Having Jan and then losing her… It wasn’t something Morgan was sure she was strong enough for when it came to a friendship down the line.“I’d miss you, of course I would, but you know.”Morgan lifted a shoulder.“I just want you to be happy with whatever works for you.”
“I think you and I will be just fine.”
Jan was far more optimistic than Morgan was, but she’d been here before, and she’d seen how people could turn on those they loved when they didn’t conform to what society saw as ‘right’.She didn’t want to burst Jan’s bubble, and she wouldn’t, but Morgancouldhave her own worries about it all…while keeping them to herself.“I know.”
“So, what are the plans for the rest of the night?”
Morgan inhaled a deep breath.“Honestly?I don’t care what we do or don’t do.I’m just happy and loving every moment of this holiday.”
“I spied a cute little ice cream shop on the way down here.The mint choc chip looked delicious, and I think it would be the perfect dessert.”
“Youwantmint choc chip ice cream, yougetmint choc chip ice cream.”Morgan drew Jan in and planted a kiss on her lips.As she pulled back, holding Jan’s chin, Morgan grinned.“I still can’t believe you’re here with me.”
“I can’t believe it either.”Jan dipped her head.“But I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
Morgan sighed contentedly as she relaxed back in her seat.Five more minutes, and she would call for the bill.Right now, she just wanted to memorise this moment so she could add it to all the others.Then, if things did turn sour back at home, she would have something beautiful to look back on when she sat alone in her flat.
Chapter19
Takingin the quietness of the morning, Jan sat out on the terrace, angling her face towards the sun.She sat in nothing but a towel—she’d showered some forty minutes ago—and now she was waiting for Morgan to decide on a destination for their day out.They’d both agreed that sightseeing was on the itinerary today, perhaps some lunch elsewhere on the island, and then tonight was a club night.Jan hadn’t been clubbing in well…she didn’t dare reveal just how long it had been.But if she guessed, she would say Gillian wasn’t even married to Dave at the time, and Jan had a questionable fashion sense.She vaguely recalled being at a club back home, wearing blue eyeliner and a boob tube dress.Jan shuddered at the mere thought of it.
She lifted her phone from the table and brought up Gillian’s messages.
Do you remember the 90s at Club Secret?
God, that felt like a lifetime ago.Itwasa lifetime ago.But they were memories, and Jan loved nothing more than creating memories.Yes, she may cringe and wince when she looked back on them, but she wouldn’t change any of it.
My God!How could I ever forget?
Jan laughed.
I was minding my own business sitting out in the sun reminiscing.
She wouldn’t divulge the fact she was heading to various clubs that evening, Gillianwouldhave an aneurysm, but Jan was excited to do something she hadn’t done for so long.
