Page 44 of Heal You
“Well, I’m notall.I’mme.And I have no issue with any of this.”Jan tugged Morgan to her and turned, wrapping an arm around her waist.“I would like to know more about you, though.Your family and how that came about.”
“I’m an open book.”Morgan lifted a hand and cupped Jan’s cheek.“Anything you want to know, that’s fine by me.”
“I know that this is a little bit up in the air at the moment, and you’ve practically whisked me away on a whim, but…Iamserious about this with you, Morgan.I don’t pretend to know the answers to everything that’s going to come, but standing out here tonight has reminded me that even though I’m going to lose a lot, I’m also going to gain something incredibly special to me.You.What we have.This.It’s so beautiful, and making new memories with someone else is what I’m aiming for when the mess back at home has been cleaned up.That someoneisyou, okay?”
Morgan dipped her head and sniffled.“I’m sorry if I ever feel as though I’m pulling away.That’s not intentional.Not…most of the time.I just,” Morgan said, sighing as she paused for a moment.“I’m used tonotgetting the happy ending.”
“Hey,” Jan whispered as she lifted Morgan’s head and held her chin in her hand.“I get it.I really do.Do you think I expected any of this to happen?To end up here with you, feeling immensely happy whentechnically, I should be miserable?”
“No.This has to be just as crazy for you to come to terms with.”
“Then let’s just enjoy ourselves and live life.”
Morgan drew Jan into a slow, soft kiss.When they broke apart, a smile spread on Morgan’s lips.“Believe me, all I’ve been doing since you walked into my bar that night is live my life.”
That was all Jan could ask for.To know that Morgan was also finding a new normal, it was all she needed to be happy in life.“Good.Now, I’m starving, so should we head off and have dinner before we come back here and relax for the rest of the night?”
Morgan nodded as she leaned in and pressed a kiss on the tip of Jan’s nose.“Sounds like the perfect date with the perfect woman.”
* * *
Morgan sat across from Jan,the table they’d reserved offering them the most beautiful view of the lit walkway along the beachfront of Meloneras.Jan hadn’t stopped smiling since they’d landed earlier today, and every time Morgan glanced in her direction, the hairs on her arms stood on end.It was a feeling Morgan was new to, more so because it was so intense.Jan, quite simply, was all she’d ever dreamed of.Every last bad mistake and dead end would have been worth it if it had led to this.Tonight, Morgan couldn’t take her eyes off Jan.
She sat back in her seat and sipped from her glass of red wine.“How’s the food?”
“Delicious.”Jan eyed Morgan over the rim of her own glass, wearing a shy smile.“Yours?”
“I brought you here because I know how amazing the menu is.”
Jan slid a hand across the table and settled it over Morgan’s.She was no stranger to holding another woman’s hand—Morgan had been a lesbian since forever—but when Jan did it, it ignited a multitude of feelings from deep within her.“Thank you for the perfect first day.It’s been lovely.”
“You’re okay with heading back and just relaxing?If you wanted to see some of the island, I’m happy to show you.”
Jan stifled a yawn as she shook her head.“Relaxing for the rest of the night sounds perfect.I don’t have much left in my tank, to be honest with you.”
Thank God for that.Considering Morgan was significantly younger than Jan, she was really flagging now.All she wanted was to sit out on the terrace and talk about anything that sprung to mind.Walking, partying, and drinking just were not on her agenda tonight.
“Didyouwant to head out somewhere?I’m the one who has gate crashed this holiday.I’d hate to think you were changing how you usually do things because I’m here.”
“Believe me, Iwantto relax at the apartment tonight.”Morgan turned her hand over and smiled.“This is nice.Sitting here, hand in hand.”
Jan sighed.“This just reminds me of what I can look forward to once we’re home.Because if I’m learning anything being out here with you on day one, it’s that I don’t want to go back to hiding once we get home.”
“You’re not hiding, babe.You’re just…finding yourself.Nobody, friends included, can begrudge you that.”
Jan snorted.“Oh, I beg to differ.You really think Gill won’t have a meltdown once she finds out about this?”
“I mean, I know she’s your best friend, and I’m really close to Finn, but what right do they have to an opinion on how you choose to handle things?You’re a grown woman, Jan.If you’re not ready to face the world with me, that’s your decision and your decision alone.”
Jan softened as she squeezed Morgan’s hand.“I appreciate your support more than you know.”
“So long as you’re okay, I don’t care about the rest.If I have to spend the next several months sneaking you into my flat, then I’ll do that.Don’teverfeel pressured to do what you think is the right thing.We’re good, babe.Really good.”Morgan lifted a hand and smiled at the waiter when she signalled for the bill.“You still don’t want a dessert?”
Jan placed a hand on her stomach and puffed out her cheeks.“No way.You’ll have to carry me back if I dare to put another thing in my mouth.”
“Okay.”Morgan grinned, then lifted her glass and finished her wine.“Hey, out of interest.Howdoyou think Gillian and Finn will react?”Morgan wasn’t bothered about what they thought of her; she had what she needed sitting right across from her, but the idea of them being less than impressed with Jandidweigh on her mind at times.“You think they’ll be happy for you?”
“I think Gillian will be confused, and I think she’ll sit there shocked for several minutes.But then it’ll wear off, and she’ll be happy knowing that I’m happy.That’s all we’ve ever wanted for one another.”
