Page 41 of Heal You
“Exactly.”
“I wish you didn’t have to leave the country to feel safer.”Morgan kissed Jan’s forehead when their eyes met.“Being out isn’t something I’ve ever worried about.”
“One day, I won’t have to worry either.”Jan sat up and shifted into Morgan’s lap.“And it’s not that I’m worried—we’ve already established that.I just don’t want to bump into friends at the moment.None of them would understand.And I certainly don’t want to come across anyone who could go to Gillian and tell her before I’ve had the chance to do it myself.”
Yeah, that wouldn’t end well.Gillian would hit the roof if she didn’t hear this directly from Jan.“I don’t really want to be on the receiving end of Gillian’s wrath ifthatever happened.”
“Me neither.”Jan laughed.“But you and I are the only thing I care about right now.I just want to be with you like this.”Jan wrapped an arm around Morgan’s shoulder and touched their foreheads.“This is where I enjoy being the most.”
“I hate it when you have to go back to that hotel room.”Morgan wanted to offer her space to Jan again, but she didn’t want to come across as pressuring her.“Maybe we need to discuss that while we’re away.”
“Discuss the hotel?”Jan drew back.
“Yeah.Figure out what’s next.You can’t stay there forever, babe.”
“I know.And I won’t.I’m just enjoying my own space at the minute.Even if I was at home, it wouldn’t be the same.It wouldn’tfeelthe same.I think that’s why I got what I needed and left, to be honest.Until I feel ready to think about what’s going to happen with the house, I don’t want to be there.”Jan’s voice trembled ever so slightly.“If I’d refused to leave, it would only be harder down the line when it came to selling up.”
“I hope it doesn’t come to that.When you speak about your home, your eyes light up.”Morgan couldn’t imagine packing up her life and leaving her flat.She’d only been here four years, so she couldn’t begin to think about how Jan must feel knowing she’d have to deal with boxes and moving companies.“And if it means so much to you, I’d love to see it.I bet it’s gorgeous.”
“It’s where I feel at my most comfortable.”
“I know.”Morgan leaned in and kissed Jan.“But if you do get sick of looking at your hotel room, you know I’ll make space for you here.It’s not something I even need to think about.”
“Thank you.”
“You know how you don’t wanna come down from something?”Morgan sighed, feeling immensely proud to have Jan in her arms.“Well, I don’t wanna come down from you.Fromthis.”
“Then let’s not worry about ever coming down.Let’s just…appreciate one another and have some fun.”Jan rested her head against Morgan’s shoulder, but Morgan felt her smiling.Knowing someone like Janwantedto be here, wanted to be alone with Morgan, had her feeling several types of way, but Jan was right.Appreciation was enough for Morgan for now.
“I may have done something when you agreed to fly out to Gran Canaria with me.”Morgan brought her hand to the back of Jan’s neck and grazed her nails against her skin.
“What did you do?”Jan barely managed to say those words out loud.It was almost a whisper.
“Upgraded our room.”
Jan beamed a smile as she tilted her head.“You did?”
“Only the bestforthe best.”
“Please let me contribute towards all of this.You can’t take on the cost alone.It’s not fair to you.”
Morgan would have paid triple if it meant she had the chance to go on holiday with Jan.It was no problem that she’d upgraded at all.If anything, it only made her far more excited.“This is my gift to you to help you relax before the shit hits the fan here.”
“Then I’m expecting you to find the nicest restaurant you can so I can take you for a fancy dinner while we’re there.”
Morgan shifted down the couch a little, her eyes half-lidded as she allowed the peacefulness to lull her into the tiniest nap.“It’s a date.”
* * *
Sitting comfortablyon Morgan’s couch, Jan glanced around the room and smiled.Morgan seemed like one of those women who didn’t need much in her life.Of course she had the big TV, the sound system, and everything else most people owned these days, but her flat was clean and tidy.It didn’t have random stuff strewn across it.A lot like Jan’s home.Only this place felt much more homely.It felt lived in.While Jan felt that way at her place, it felt lonely a lot of the time.
She reached for her phone on the coffee table as it pinged.Morgan was currently down in the bar picking up their takeout from the delivery driver.
It was Gillian.
Fancy a few glasses of wine tonight?
Jan would usually take her best friend up on an offer like that; wine night had been a regular thing in the past when Phil was out of the country.But Jan was giving her body a rest.She knew what Gran Canaria would likely entail, so she was off alcohol until they flew out in a couple of days.
