Page 33 of Heal You
“Can I ask something of you?”Jan swallowed when Morgan shifted and pressed her body against her.“You’re entitled to say no, of course.”
“You can ask me anything at all.If I’m able to do whatever it is you want,” Morgan said as she smirked.“Then you know I will.”
Jan knew where Morgan’s mind had just gone.If nothing else, the intimacy they shared was intense.“Can you stick around until I know I’m ready for a relationship?Can we…be together without actually being together until I know I can give my all?”
Morgan dipped her head and drew Jan into a slow, lingering kiss.Jan moaned when she wrapped a hand around the back of Morgan’s neck, fairly certain she had her answer already.When Morgan pulled back and touched her forehead to Jan’s, those dark eyes boring into her soul, Morgan grinned.“You can take as long as you need.I’m not going anywhere.”
* * *
Carryingtwo cups of coffee towards the couch, Morgan handed one to Jan and took a seat beside her.While she didn’t know much at the moment, she knew Jan brightened this place like nobody else ever had.Morgan loved her flat, she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, but she could certainly enjoy this space alone with Jan.
“Tell me how it went yesterday when you saw Phil and…whatever the fuck her name is.”
Jan smiled.“Her name is Anais.Before all of this, I’d go as far as to say I considered her a friend.Okay, she was an employee before anything else, but we had a great working relationship with one another.We’ve also had many business nights out together.”
Morgan puffed out her cheeks.Surely that only made all of this even worse.“Hard-faced bitch.”
“Mm.My thoughts exactly.”Jan sipped her coffee and rested it in her lap.But not before she draped her legs over Morgan’s lap.“He was at the house with her.At first, I felt sick knowing she was in my home, but now I’m just ready to say goodbye to it all.I refuse to feel sad about something I can’t control.I also refuse to give the two of them those emotions in me.They don’t deserve them.”
“God, I wish I had your mentality.”
Jan looked down at her cup and shrugged.“I have a few more years on you, Morgan.When you reach my age, you learn to focus on what’s important.”
Morgan palmed Jan’s knee.“And what’s that, babe?”
“Giving my time to people who mean a lot to me.Being happy with what I do have rather than what I’m losing.Reminding myself that I’m still here and that I have a life to build all over again.You…you’re important to me.”
“You’re important to me, too.”Morgan leaned over and kissed Jan’s cheek.“And I love having you over here with me the morning after.It’s not something I afford myself most of the time.”
“You have to have a life.The bar will survive.You’ve built it into something that simply cannot fail.And your staff seem great.Ben and Tyler are lovely guys.I’m yet to really speak to Megan.”
“Megan doesn’t have much conversation in her.She’s a great bartender, but she’s quieter than the others I’ve had in the past.”
“Sometimes the quieter people are the people you should surround yourself with.They tend to have less issues and drama.”
Morgan had to agree with that.The bartender Megan had replaced had done nothing but cause hassle for Morgan.First, she’d decided to invite her friends in whenever she was working so they could have free drinks.Then, she’d tried her hand at dipping into the takings on shift.Morgan couldn’t have someone like that working for her.No matter what her reasons for stealing had been.“I have a good thing going here.Add you into it, and my life has been almost perfect lately.”
“What would make it entirely perfect?”Jan asked, those blue eyes bright and so easy to get lost in.
“Knowing that you’ll be here for a long time to come.”
“When you say things like that to me, it makes me wonder why I even gave my marriage a chance.”Jan swallowed as she shook her head.“If I’d been honest with myself in the past, you and I may be in a different position right now.”
“How do you mean?”
“I know I’ve spoken about the counselling and how things felt off, but I’d been feeling it for far longer than I led myself to believe.”Morgan appreciated it every time Jan opened up to her.It meant this was heading in the right direction.“Every day, I remind myself of something he used to do that I hated.Or the times when he just wasn’t there…even though we were in the same room.”
“I think we’re all guilty of that.Nobody is perfect, neither are marriages, but we always want it to work out in the best way possible, so we settle or we look past things we know we shouldn’t look past.”
“You’ve done that before?”
“Oh, absolutely.”Morgan was terrible for letting people off lightly.It was probably why she was single right now.Because she let people walk all over her until it either suited them or until she saw what was happening.“And not necessarily with love interests.Even with friends over the years.”
“It never ends well, does it?”
Morgan wrinkled her nose.“Not really, no.”
“I’m just glad Gareth came to me and told me.It must have taken a lot for him to sit down and tell me his wife was seeing another man.Then for that other man to be my husband…well, I’m not sure I would have had the balls to do it if the shoe was on the other foot.”
