Page 32 of Heal You
She watched Morgan as she slept.Jan hadn’t had the opportunity to do so the last time she’d woken up in Morgan’s bed.No, she’d lay here alone for a few moments before she’d gone searching for Morgan, only to find her mildly panicking out in the kitchen.Not this morning, though.
God, she’s beautiful.
Had Jan thought about Antonia over the years?Several times.But it wasn’t necessarily Antonia she was thinking about.When Jan’s sex life with Phil had started to rapidly decline, Jan’s mind often wandered off to the days when she’d found her attention fixed firmly on women.It was hard to remember at times, it had been so long ago, but the memories made Jan smile.She knew that much.
“I know you’re watching me.I can hear you blinking.”
Jan snickered as she took her bottom lip between her teeth.Morgan was sexyandhilarious.Jan hadn’t laughed so much before she met Morgan.Well, became more acquainted with her, at least.“I don’t think eyelids make a sound.”
Morgan cracked one eye open and smiled.“But you admit that youwerewatching me?”
“What happens if I do admit it?”Jan teased as she stroked a thumb against Morgan’s hip.
“You get a lot of kisses.Maybe a lot of something else, too.”Morgan snuggled closer again and rested her chin on the top of Jan’s head.“Five more minutes before I have to deal with life.”
“I told Phil.”
Morgan drew back and frowned.“Told him what?”
“That I’d spent the night with someone else.”Jan wanted to always be on the same page as Morgan.Even though Morgan was unavailable because of her work commitments, it was important to maintain that level of full transparency.
“O-oh.Right.Um…”
“Don’t worry.Iknowthis isn’t anything serious.You don’t have to say anything.I just wanted you to know that he knows.I didn’t say who it was, but he knows I’ve spent the night with someone else.”
“Jan, I’m going at your pace here.”Morgan rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling.“You say it’s not serious, and I understand that you’re not in a position to even think about a love life, but this isn’t just fucking for me.Please don’t ever think I’m using you to get off.”
“God, I know.I hope you don’t think the same about me.”Jan hadn’t meant to sound so blasé about her situation with Morgan.She just couldn’t get her hopes up here.“I’m sorry if I said that wrong.”
“If I knew you were in the position to do so, I’d be asking you out for dinner.Or a drink, whatever.A…date.But you’re new to this all over again.You need time to decide what you even want in your future.While Iknowthat’s not me, it doesn’t make me want you any less.It also doesn’t stop me from thinking about the potential of us still doing this six months down the line.”
Jan sat up on her elbow and traced a fingertip over Morgan’s collarbone.“I wish it was you.”
Morgan’s brows drew together as she turned her face to Jan.“You do?”
“I love every moment we spend together, Morgan.But you’ve said it yourself.You don’t have the time for a relationship.”
“Oh, I’d make the time for you.”Jan was surprised Morgan would do that.What was different about Jan compared to the other women Morgan had been with?“I’d hire more staff if I had to.”
Jan smiled.“I appreciate that.”
Morgan rolled over this time and stared deep into Jan’s eyes as she encouraged her down onto her back.“I’m serious.You tell me themomentyou’re sure of what you want, and if that’s me…I’m all yours.”
Jan’s heart started to beat a little harder.Could she really walk out of a marriage and directly into a woman’s arms?People would likely tell her that she shouldn’t…orcouldn’t, but this was Jan’s life.It was her choice.“You really mean that?You’d be interested in a relationship?”
“Babe, I’ve always been interested in a relationship.I’ve just never really found anyone I want to work less for.It’s been a string of bad mistakes to date, but you?Fuck, you’re something else.I hope you know that.”
Well, then.What could Jan possibly say to that?She wouldn’t agree or disagree just yet—she needed to sort out all kinds within her life—but this conversation would remain at the back of her mind until a later date.“You’re very good for my self-confidence.”
“A woman like you should be filled with self-confidence.Don’t let what he did to you take it away.What do you think drew me to you all those months ago when you started coming to the bar?I mean, other than your incredibly beautiful face and this body?”
Jan felt herself blushing.She had no idea how the hell she’d landed so perfectly on her feet here with Morgan, but she wouldn’t take a single second of it for granted.“There were a few occasions when I had to concentrate on something else.You have the most intense eyes of anyone I’ve ever met, and it was hard not to gaze into them when you were speaking to me.”
Morgan smiled.“Yeah?”
“It wasn’t something I thought much of until I came here the other week.It’s not as though I was in a position to do anything about it.”
“No, I know.And thank God you didn’t.This could have been a whole different story.”
