Page 41 of Your Biggest Downfall
A loud bang came from the door, and we both jumped.
I let out a manic laugh. “Let’s add in getting robbed, kidnapped, and murdered to the list of all the ways I didn’t expect tonight to go.”
Luna laughed hesitantly and swatted me on the chest. “Shut it.”
Luna got up, but I grabbed her arm. “What’re you doing? It’s like four in the fucking morning. Do not answer that.”
She shrugged. “They’ll get to me first.”
I shook my head as she walked toward the door and looked in the peephole.
She slowly turned on her heel. “Holy shit,” she mouthed.
“What?” I said, my heart speeding up. I had managed to get myself to a somewhat calm state, and now I was on alert all over again.
She smiled and laughed, and right as she twisted the lock, I jumped out of the bed. “Luna. It is four in the morning. Do not open that door. Do not?—”
She opened the door.
16
austin
Thank god Jeremy had a crush on her best friend. Without him, I’d have had no idea where she lived. I took advantage of that crush when I begged him for her address, and now I owed him big time, but it was worth it. The moment he rattled off the address, I jumped into the nearest rideshare, willing the driver to go as fast as they could.
She was a fucking virgin, and I fucked her in a bathroom while we were high. I was an asshole.
No, being an asshole didn’t even cover what I’d done to her tonight. I liked Nova, and I’d treated her like she was just another chick, doing blow off her ass. She was worth so much more than I gave her, but the problem was I didn’t know how to give anyone anything different.
Growing up, my mom was never around. I never saw a healthy relationship, never learned how to treat someone with the respect they deserved. The guys I hung out with were on a constant mission to chase pussy, treating girls like conquests rather than people. But none of that was an excuse for how I’d treated Nova. It was too late now, but I needed to be better. She deserved better.
Nova was my friend. She was there for me when I was new to the team. She was there for me both personally and professionally. She supported me, believed in me, and in return, I threw her away like she was nothing. The guilt ate away at me, and I had to change—not just for her, but for myself. I needed to learn how to treat people with kindness, especially someone like Nova, who deserved, at the very least, to be treated with respect.
I replayed the events of the night over and over in my mind, the shame in her eyes haunting me. When I looked down at my dick and saw blood, I knew I’d fucked up. I wished I could take it all back, do things differently. But all I could do now was try to make amends, to show her that I could be the friend she needed, the person she deserved.
I’d been trying to connect with her, trying to find a common ground between us and show her all the ways I escaped the shit in the world. I thought that by inviting her to hang out with the team outside of work and then to do coke with me, I’d show her that she could escape too.
Fuck. Beads of sweat gathered on my brow. It didn’t fucking help that I was crashing from doing far too much coke. I was gritting my teeth so hard that it felt like they were going to break.
When the driver dropped me off, I raced into her building. Tears formed in my eyes, but I fought them back. I was a man, and men didn’t cry. So why the hell was I feeling so emotional? I wiped my face, and the mixture of sweat and tears made my arm sticky and warm.
I ran up to the second floor and knocked on the old orange door. No, knocked would be a nice way to say I pounded. When the door opened a crack, I let out a sigh of relief.
“Thank god. You answered,” I exhaled.
Luna stood in the opening, dressed in a pair of satin shorts and a matching spaghetti-strap top. “I answered,” she bit back. “Not Nova.”
“Please,” I begged, sliding my hand to the edge of the door, trying desperately to see if I could get a glimpse of her. “I know she’s in there.”
Luna lowered her voice. “She’s so embarrassed, Austin.”
I nodded profusely. “I know. Fuck.” I rubbed my hands through my hair. “Fuck. I know. That’s why I’m here. I wanted to tell her I was sorry. I didn’t?—”
“Who is it, Lune?” Her voice came from the other side of the door.
Luna kept a tight grip on the door, keeping it mostly closed. I tried to push it open, but she grabbed my hand midair. “No,” she bit out. “No.”
“I swear to god, I didn’t know she was a fucking... you know.”
