Page 24 of Your Biggest Downfall
I ran my hands through my curls, tugging at my temples before I slowly turned around, making sure to plaster a smile on my face.
“Sorry. I didn’t hear you, Mom. I was focused on heading toward the press. They want me up there ASAP.”
“Oh, sorry. We came to say sorry about?—”
I shook my head. “It’s cool.” I couldn’t look at Ledger, who was holding mynew baby sisterinside a little carrier on his chest. She looked tiny. “It was just another loss.”
It wasn’t. It fucking stung, and I needed to get fucked up.
“It wasn’t a loss, Austin. It was part of the?—”
“Auburn,” Ledger said, his tone more serious than I’d heard when he was around Mom. “I’m fucking proud of you.”
Ledger leaned in for a hug, and of course, Evie took that moment to start crying.
I laughed a little and looked down. “You got your hands full. I gotta head up to press ...”
“You don’t need me to babysit you like last time, do you?” Mom was joking, referring to the time Coach caught me with the fake ID and made her come to each away game. She’d taken her role quite seriously and decided to check on me every few hours to make sure I wasn’t leaving.
Little did she know my plan was exactly what I wasn’t supposed to do, but I didn’t need a babysitter in the form of my mother. “No. I wanna go home and relax tonight.”
It was a lie. I was going to Brims, but my mom didn’t need to know her underage son was going to get fucked up.
“Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Try to decompress, and then tomorrow, work on a plan for next season,” Ledger added.
I sure as fuck was planning on decompressing in the form of a very hot brunette.
“I can come by and help if you want, run some drills at the rink whenever you’re ready.”
The voice of reason spoke, and for once, I felt somewhat understood. “Thanks, man. I’ll see you guys later. Thanks for coming.”
I leaned over to my mom and kissed her forehead before turning to Ledger. He took Evie out of the carrier as my mom rocked on her heel and gave her a pacifier.
“Listen.” Ledger lowered his voice so only I could hear. “It was a good game. The puck was passed a few times. There were no mistakes, nothing you could have practiced for. You’ve got many more seasons ahead. It was a fucking good game,” he repeated.
I let out a small chuckle. I hadn’t heard Ledger swear since Evie was born, so it was surprising. “Thanks, man,” I responded, genuinely appreciative.
He nodded. “Go kick ass with the press and tell Nova I said hi.”
That made me smile. The thought of seeing her did something to me, like somehow I was going home.
“Your first major loss in the NHL, tell us how you’re feeling?” one of the press asked as I sat at the press box.
I took a deep breath, trying to focus on the question, but my attention kept drifting toward the back of the room. There she was. I hadn’t seen her before I was rushed here, but she was standing in the back with her boss, the head of PR and media relations for the team. Nova’s short hair was curled and looking even shorter. She wore a Ravens T-shirt and had her phone up, taking videos. She kept her nose on the screen of the phone, but I could’ve sworn I saw her peeking up as different stations shot out questions.
“Uh, it’s tough,” I started, my eyes flicking back to her. “Losing is never easy, especially in a big game like this.”
I hated these types of situations. I’d been trained for it my entire life, but speaking in front of a crowd, especially about a loss, was hard. How was I supposed to respectfully lose to something I’d worked toward my entire life?
In seconds, I’d let down my mom, my new stepdad, my team, my fans, and the entire hockey organization. The weight of that pressure was crushing, like carrying bricks on my shoulders. And then, the cruelest part was being expected to smile and act pleasant in front of a camera.
Nova caught my eye for a moment and gave a small, encouraging smile.
I couldn’t help but smile back, even as I continued talking. “But we played hard, and there are always things to learn from a loss.”
As I answered more questions, my focus kept shifting between the reporters and Nova. Seeing her there, even though she was supposed to be there, made me feel like she was there for me.
“What’s your plan moving forward?” another reporter asked.
