Page 58 of Take Me Please, Cowboy
A female voice sounded from the back of the house.“Is that you, Rye?You’re home early.”
“I know.I’ve brought someone to meet you.”
“Let me just comb my hair and put on some lipstick,” his mother answered.
“Take your time,” he called back, before turning to Ansley.“She’s going to be really happy to meet you.I’ve told her about you, and Josie is convinced you two are going to be best friends.”
Ansley smiled, trying to hide the tenderness inside of her.She felt unsettled, almost bruised.
“I hope she’ll like me,” Ansley said.
“Of course she will.How could she not?”
*
But it wasn’tMr.and Mrs.Calhoun who were the problem.It wasn’t Jasper, either, as he was absolutely lovely.
The problem was Ansley.All afternoon, and then all through dinner—they were having a bucket of KFC and mashed potatoes and gravy in honor of her being there—she struggled.She wasn’t comfortable.
Worse, she finally understood what Rye had been talking about all this time, and why he had pushed her away, trying to make decisions for her—and them.He wasn’t ashamed of his family, but he understood the realities, and it was clear he understood that it wouldn’t be easy for someone to assimilate into this world, not the way it was.His dad wasn’t just disabled from his job injury, but he was also struggling with depression.
Ansley couldn’t imagine a dad just abdicating all responsibility for one’s family, leaving the job to his son.But Rye, wonderful, courageous, selfless Rye had stepped up to fill his father’s shoes and be the person they needed him to be.He’d done this since he was just a teenager, which made her admire Rye even more.
But it was hard to see how little he had for himself.How little he had financially, how little freedom and space, never mind emotional space.
She couldn’t imagine her brothers having to contend with the world Rye inhabited.She couldn’t imagine any of them willingly sacrificing their own futures for their family, and maybe she was wrong, maybe if confronted by a tragedy, each of her brothers would step up and make hard choices.But they hadn’t needed to do such a thing and the Calhoun family benefited daily from Rye’s effort.They all benefited from his work and his income and Rye had been doing this, paying for everything, for years.
And he, himself, had nothing to show for it.
He lived in a dreadful little trailer.His parents had the main house, but it was incredibly rundown.Yes, the interior was clean but there were no special touches, nothing to make it homey, or personal.
Ansley, the artist, Ansley the woman who craved beauty didn’t think she’d survive in this place, and she’d made a terrible mistake coming to Eureka.After dinner was over, she retreated to Rye’s trailer, overwhelmed by Rye’s family’s struggles.
Perhaps if Josie was here, Ansley could talk to her, and ask questions.Like why didn’t Rye’s father do anything to help the family?She’d watched him that afternoon sitting in front of the TV, and then watched him again at dinner, and he was helpless, practically as dependent on the others as Jasper.
Ansley didn’t know enough of the situation, and so she couldn’t judge.She shouldn’t judge.But she found herself questioning why Mr.Calhoun didn’t still try to manage his roofing company.Maybe his back had been hurt, but couldn’t he do the books, or handle sales calls, or order materials?Couldn’t he go into the office part-time and represent Calhoun Roofing?Why just abandon it completely, leaving it all to Rye?
Further, why didn’t Mr.Calhoun work on increasing his mobility?Perhaps if the family purchased a newer car, one with a ramp to the driver’s seat, perhaps living more independently would help him with his self-esteem.Obviously, she didn’t know the full extent of his disability but from what she’d seen, Mr.Calhoun needed help standing, and he needed help moving around the house, and instead of a cane or walker he leaned on his wife or one of his children.Or resorted to a wheelchair.But if he was going to be in a wheelchair, he should push himself.He shouldn’t insist his family push him about.He shouldn’t force everyone to wait on him.Couldn’t he see the damage he was doing to his family?To his wife?To Rye?Was there a medical reason he couldn’t walk, or would physical therapy allow him to get back on his feet?
Ansley covered her face, dismayed by the intense emotion flooding her.She was too upset, too invested.If she already felt this critical and frustrated now, how would she feel in six months?Six years?
“It’s awful,” she said to her mother, having called her mom while Rye was still out.“I shouldn’t have come.I don’t belong here.”
“I don’t understand,” her mother answered.“Isn’t Rye there?”
“Yes, he is, and he’s exactly as he’s always been—a hard-working man who doesn’t complain—but Mom, his home, his life, it’s nothing like I imagined.I know it makes me sound incredibly privileged, but I’m really uncomfortable here.There are so many problems, and it all falls on Rye.But how is he supposed to take care of them all, and have a life?He’s not ever going to be free of his responsibilities to them.They will always come first.”
“You preferred the version of the story where there was just the two of you,” her mom said.
Ansley’s eyes burned and she rubbed at her temple, trying to ease the tension.“Yes.”She felt heartsick, physically ill.“I pictured something totally different, but I was wrong.There is no room for me.”
“Has he said this to you?”
“He doesn’t have to.He’s thirty years old and he still lives at home.Yes, he’s in his own little trailer, but it’s not far from the house.Until recently, both of the sisters have lived at home, and that was to save money so they could go to school, but Rye pays for virtually everything.He supports his mom and dad.He takes care of his younger brother Jasper.He helps cover his sisters’ expenses when they need it.”
“Rye sounds like a very strong man.”
“He is.He’s amazing.But Mom… I couldn’t do what he does, and I couldn’t be happy here.I don’t want to live here, not like this.I don’t know how he does it.”
