Page 30 of Elixir of Strife
Tina wagged her finger back at him. “Ah, ah. I’m stealing from baddies, which makes me the good guy. Also, I’m flattered that you think I’m a thief. Gives me more street cred than you with your direct line to the magical cops. Narc.”
Max sprang to his feet. “I am not a narc.” Heads turned again. Johnny loudly cleared his throat. Max glanced around, then leaned in to whisper. “I amnota narc, Guillotina.”
He stormed off, huffing and puffing. I might have burned my lips sucking down half my coffee, but at least I didn’t choke myself to death trying to fight the laughter. I set my cup down and nudged Tina with my elbow.
“So. First blowjob, huh? You probably heard everything, huh?”
She looked pointedly away and sniffled. “Pssh. Classified information.” Before I could start whining to chip away at her armor, she glanced at me out of the corner of her eye and winked. “Too much teeth.”
“Oh, that?” I sat back in my chair, sighing as I placed both my hands behind my head. “Yeah, he got better. Way better.”
“You guys are so disgusting.”
I shook my head. “Very close-minded of you, Tina. Tsk, tsk.”
“You two were made for each other,” she growled. “I hate you both.”
I tugged on my collar. Clearly she hadn’t meant that as something sweet, but it made bits of me fluttery and buttery anyway.
Max came stomping back, the color of his drink different now, the whiskey finished and replaced with clear liquid.
“Didn’t want the ice to go to waste,” he explained, “but I also don’t want to overdo it.”
“Vodka?” I asked. “Strange choice of chaser, but okay.”
“It’s water. And speaking of which, we really should be thinking about tracking that second bottle ourselves. No word from Succulence as it is.”
“What are we talking about?” Roscoe asked, pulling up a chair. “The Aqueous Elixir again?” Johnny hovered behind him, drink in hand.
“I could help, you know.”
Bakunawa. The dragon’s voice reverberated from deep within my psyche. I frowned at the middle distance.
“And what would you know about the Aqueous Elixir, exactly?”
The others stared at me. Oh, God. I didn’t realize I’d said that out loud.
Johnny clucked his tongue. “I don’t know who that was meant for, Witch Boy. But hurtful. Very hurtful. We’re all just trying to help here.”
“No, no,” I said, frantically shaking my hands. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t talking to you guys.”
“Hah. Sillybruho. Serves you right for being so rude when I only wanted to offer my expertise.”
An arm draped across my back. Max squeezed my shoulder, massaging the muscle. “Everything okay there, big guy? The stress getting to you, maybe?”
I shook my head. “It’s, um, it’s Bakunawa. You know, the dragon? He says he can help.”
Tina perked up. Johnny turned his hands up, glancing at the others for an answer. Roscoe, as always, was ready to provide one.
“Bakunawa. The sea dragon of Philippine myth? What on earth is a sea dragon doing inside your head, Leon?”
“It’s a long story.”
And so I told them the long story, Tiamat and all.
“This is wild,” Tina murmured, staring at the side of my head. “An actual entity from our folklore, hiding inside you, lending you their power.”
She poked at a spot on my scalp, not hard enough to hurt. Still annoying, though.
